Molly is my daughter’s Maltese Terrier. She has been a much loved part of our family now for seven years.
In the course of those seven years, one by one, my four children left home. Molly has stayed with me.
While each of my four children make their way in life and face the challenges that it brings, Molly now faces her own challenge.
Three weeks ago, Molly became lame. She has very, very little strength in her hind legs. A slipped disc in her spine apparently. Cortisone, hydrotherapy and acupuncture treatments have done little to help so far.
For those three weeks Molly has spent most of it in a portable baby’s cot. I change her sheets. I feed her. I bathe her. I carry her outside and hold a sling under her hind legs so she can go to the toilet … morning, noon and night. Gee, so many times a night. The cortisone tablets make her so hungry and thirsty that she needs to go out at all hours. Ugh.
She has become my fifth baby.
I don’t know if she will get better. She showed slight improvement the second week but, frankly, there has been no improvement this week. We return to the vet on Monday for his assessment. Up until now he hasn’t been too confident that she will regain much more feeling in her legs but, like me, he has remained hopeful.
But now, honestly, I am entertaining the imaginable disrespect of reality and the possibility that Molly won’t get better. I am worried that Molly’s quality of life will not improve and, selfishly, nor will mine. I am upset that I may have to discuss with my daughter earnestly the possibility of putting Molly to sleep.
Perhaps more time is needed. I sure hope so. Perhaps the vet will have a firmer idea on Monday. Time. Of course I can give her that if she needs it. Along with love and care, it’s the very least I can do.
But, is there a place in time where it will be just kinder to let her go?
At what point might I need to break my daughter’s heart? And mine?
Molly
(her back has been shaved for her acupuncture treatments)
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Comments
To me, 12 is a good innings for a little dog.
Watching her try to walk, see, groom herself, is painful.
I think if she could talk, she might say " Please, help me out of here."
I think. I don't know. I'm projecting, but I know if I were in her situation I'd ask the girls to do the right thing, and let me go to sleep with a little dignity, and in peace.
The girls don't agree, yet, and my fear is that the misery might be protracted beyond anything that's reasonable to ask a sentient creature to endure.
It's one of those hard ones, Kate - I wish you good guidance.
Whatever happens, hold her when she goes.
I sure am hoping she gets better too but the fact is it's not looking too good right now.
I am sending good thoughts your way for Molly and your whole family. What a beautiful little face!
rated with tender loving care for little Molly
♥R
Maybe ask your daughter to come home and help you make a decision?
Heartbreaking.
You will know Kate what to do.. it will just come and I am here for you ..
HUGGGGGGGGGGG
DoaHSS, thank you for your good wishes. She does have a cute face but don't go near her when she has a bone! It's not so cute then I can assure you!!!
So sorry. She looks so cute...
So sorry. She looks so cute...
JD, thank you. I wish we didn’t have to go through it of course but if not now, we’ll be faced with something like this some day. I lost my own dog, Sally, a purebred Collie when I was around my daughter’s age too; before that my pony, Blackie; and since then a cat, Jasper. I remember well my sadness at losing each and every one and kind of hoped that I wouldn’t have to lose another pet. But then Molly came into our lives and here we are…. Thanks again, friend.
Fusun, I know you know about being in this place very well. I thought of you and your dear little Selim just the other day. I’ll wait to hear what the vet has to say in a few days’ time but the last I spoke with him he had hoped Molly would have improved a lot better than she has. Yet there is still some hope. Thank you for your hug and love my friend. I do appreciate it.
Janice, thank you. The decision will have to be a joint one. She is my daughter’s dog … Rebecca loves her dearly but just couldn’t take her to live with her. Bec did race home though as soon as she knew of Molly’s condition and has been in touch about her every day since. Thank you for your well wishes. We’ll get through of course.
Linda, it’s a wonderful thing to know that a friend is there when I need them …and I sure know that is true of you. Thank you so much. A big HUGGGG, Linda.
Froggy, I think of all animals, dogs are just so special. So loyal and affectionate. They really do become part of the family. I lost my own dog, Sally, when I was about my daughter’s age … I’ve never forgotten her of course. Thank you for your kind words, froggy.
Oryoki Bowl, yes, if she was older it would be tough enough but I think a little easier. The fact that she is still bright and fairly well doesn’t help much either.
Tr ig, thank you. I really appreciate that, tr ig.
Susie, we’ve certainly wondered about the possibility of wheels and mentioned it to the vet. He still wasn’t too sure about the quality of life she may be left with at the end of this and said if it was his dog and she didn’t improve, he would put his own dog down. Our yard is too steep for her to get around on wheels but there are ways and means of course. Still, we’ll just wait a bit longer and see how things turn out. Her quality of life is the most important thing to consider.
Thoth, thank you so very much.
Scanner, thank you. We’ve certainly thought of the wheels but it still remains to be seen just how good a life Molly can have. I mentioned to Susie (above) that my yard is definitely not suitable for wheels either but, as long as she had good quality of life, there are ways and means. Just waiting to see how it all pans out.
Miguela, I just visited your post and met Pierre. He’s gorgeous! Maxie sounds as though he was too.
Thank you so much for your love and care. It is appreciated more than you might know.
With my kitty, everything just shut down. Once more I tried everything I could think to do, as you are doing now, until there was a moment when even I who didn’t want to know, knew.
Hours ago my cousin had to make a call much like yours. She and her lovely saw so many vets. There was no hopeful news, only time and how it could best be spent. This lovely, too, had been her daughter’s lovely first, but daughter moved away for work and now is in Hawaii. Lovely has stayed with mom. I saw lovely only a few weeks ago and her eyes would warm your heart.
Perhaps the youngest of the vets looked at this lovely and at her mom and told her that when the time came, it would be an act of love.
Loving hearts can only act with love. Somehow Molly already knows this. She has always known your love. Maybe somehow she is giving you and your daughter time. While you are watching her until you see the vet, all the love expressed by voices here will stay with you, with your daughter and with Molly.
Loving hearts can only act with love. Loving hearts here, our Kate, will be holding you. Should the moment come, we will hold you as you hold her. Kim is right. Whatever happens, hold her when she goes. The last thing she will feel will be your love and what a gift that is and has always been for her. For all of us, Kate. Much love to you as these hours pass.
Ande, a little while ago I gave Molly her bath … trying to get her to kick … front legs going ten to the dozen … hind legs moving but still fairly weak. I’m sure she will let me know if she’s had enough but for the moment, I’m holding on to hope that all she needs is a little more time to get stronger. I am conscious of not keeping her here just because it’s what I want. Thank you for your kind thoughts.
Greenheron, you’re absolutely right. It is the deal we make when we bring them home. Thank you for dropping by and for your thoughtfulness.
Jerry, I’m sorry you’ve been in the same situation. I know so many of us have. We humans love our pets … I think especially our dogs. If/when the times comes, she won’t go alone … I’ll be holding her ... as will my daughter I suspect.
anna1liese, your love and care shines brightly for me and you touch my heart so deeply and so warmly. Thank you dear friend. Thank you.
Rita, thank you so much. : )
Jramelle, it’s been one of those days on OS! Absolutely a shocker! But thank you so very much for persevering as much as you did. Please know I have your warm thoughts and good wishes and I appreciate them all so much. How did you know that sometimes I need to be reminded to breathe???? I’ll try to remember! : )