Coming as I do from Chicagoland, St. Patrick’s Day has always been the best excuse of the year– aside from New Year’s Eve, I suppose – to get my drink on. The Chicago River, which at one time was part of the view from my office window, would turn a garish emerald green overnight and the office would be buzzing with plans to guzzle insane quantities of goulish green beer. Those who weren’t inclined to dye their innards green might plunge into the rowdy crowds that line State Street for the annual St. Paddy’s Day parade. 
March 18 of every year always held the record for the most tardy and/or absent employees on a given work day. Those who did show up were about as useless as the coffee they poured into their roiling guts. Resplendent in green attire, leprechaun ties and shamrock jewelry on the 17th, the office staff only wore green around their gills on the 18th.
Being a Catholic and all, it never occurred to me to question the relationship between all this desperate debauchery and the guy they were allegedly celebrating. This Patrick guy had the honorarium “Saint.” in front of his name, so I knew he must have been holy. I was never quite sure why people believed he mesmerized and lured thousands of Irish snakes to their deaths by drowning, but then, there were so many things about my religion I couldn’t quite fathom.
I have finally done the research. Let’s just say St. Patrick, who I assume is in Heaven with the rest of the sainted, is probably sulking in disgust right about now, anticipating yet another display of utter nonsense in his honor.
For starters, Patrick was not Irish. Historians place his birthplace as somewhere in the south of Scotland. At age 16 he was captured at his noble family’s farm and sent to Ireland as a slave. He believed it was his “just desserts” because he was so far afield from God. While in captivity he learned about the teachings of The Apostles who migrated to Ireland. He eventually escaped and made his way home, where he studied the Holy Scriptures and became grounded in faith.
Secondly, the shamrock, which we have come to recognize as the symbol of Ireland, is nothing of the kind. It was simply a prop Patrick used to help explain to the pagan Druids in Ireland the concept of the Christian trinity. In his short autobiography Confessions, Patrick describes a dream in which he was called by God to return to Ireland to convert all the people there to Christianity.
And then there are the snakes. All historical evidence suggests that there have never been any snakes on the Emerald Isle. The whole snake s
tory is a myth, although some think it might have evolved symbolically from the Celtic snake, one of many pagan symbols. It could be argued that Patrick symbolically drove out paganism, because he was credited with converting all of Ireland.
Perhaps the most interesting insight I have gained through my brief research is the fact that St. Patrick did not practice Roman Christianity, which was what was taught and, in some cases, required in the Britain of the time. Instead, his was a Celtic Christianity, based more on the teachings of the apostles and far less on the teachings of Rome.
Apparently, over the centuries, the Roman Catholic Church has worked successfully to re-invent the life of St. Patrick to better fit its version of Church history.
By all accounts this Patrick person was a serious, pious and industrious proponent of all that is holy. I believe it is safe to say he would not understand how his life and times have become the foundation for the sale of buttons and beer, and for drinking one’s self into oblivion.
References:
http://realtruth.org/articles/328-spmtal.html
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Saint_Patrick#St._Patrick_banishes_all_snakes_fr




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No, there's nothing lucky about being Irish, and I hide out, and drop my "O" for the day.... and there were never snakes in Ireland. Geologically speaking, how would they get there? Swim? Nah. No snakes.
One more thing Tom, I'll stack the Jameson's against the Scots any day of the week.
Would Glorious Saint Patrick approve of the debauchery? Not bluidy likely. Slainte.
I bet you are a lot of fun when you "get your drink on".
Happy St. Patty's Day anyway!
Hey, what can we say. Americans are party animals. We celebrate all of our ancestral roots, and even Eve carried a four-leaf clover. ;)
The pagan community here firmly believes the snakes were about getting rid of the Old Ways...
...they all wear orange every St. Paddy's Day.
Thanks for this, L.
They say history is not what was, it's what the winners wrote down.
Those poor fish.
I was going to look up "St. Patrick's Day" today, but you've done all the work for me, thank you. Now I can go officially celebrate with a beer. NOT a green one. Not to mention, a perfect excuse to watch "The Secret of Roan Inish," which always makes me wish I lived in a little Irish cottage with a fireplace.