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Jane Brogan

Jane Brogan
Location
suburban Philly, Pennsylvania,
Birthday
December 31
Bio
I am a wife, mother of 3, RN, and all for truth, not sound bites. I have Lupus, and several other autoimmune diseases and a stroke survivor. I am a very cheerful, optimistic and happy person, and always try to look for the best in the world! Also, I am an unapologetic liberal. Progressive ideas are what made this country and what continue to move it forward, without progress, we wither on the vine!

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Salon.com
SEPTEMBER 24, 2010 9:21AM

STUFF MY KIDS SAID

Rate: 15 Flag

In the spirit of the new show "$#*! My Dad Says"  on CBS, I am proposing the blog of "Stuff My Kids Said".  "Bleep My Dad Says" is based on the twitterings of a young adult who tweets the unfiltered, unedited things his dad would say.  He developed quite an audience and now William Shatner is playing hid dad on the new show.  We have all had times when are children have said cringe-worthy, embarassing things. 

My son, Tim, is a very handsome young man.  He is now 20 years old, and when younger he looked almost exactly like Macaulay Culkin.  I would have people stop me on the street to ask if he was Macaulay Culkin.  At age 5, Tim had just finished an envigorating morning at pre-K.  I took him to get a physical for Kindergarten.  Unfortunately, he had to get vaccinations-3 of them!  It took 2 nursing assistants and myself to hold him down.  He got the shots, came home, still sobbing.  I told him to lay on the couch and take a nap.  When he woke up, I was startled to discover his left shoulder was hanging lower than his right shoulder.  I called the doctor's office who advised me to take him to the ER. 

 I got him to the ER, and when the triage nurse called us in, she asked Tim what happened.  With a straight face and a withering look towards me, he replied, "My Mommy did this to me!". 

After the nurse called the doctor's office and was assured that I wasn't a child abuser, I was able to take Tim home, with his arm in a sling.  I never let him forget that! 

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LOL
OMG... I have a few tales to tell like that.
Kids are way funnier than Dads..
Rated with hugs and happy weekend
Linda, I look at my very handsome son now and still see the mischevious little guy, missing his front tooth and always getting caught! Thanks for your comments!
Jonathan-he always looked like an angel, but could be such a challenge!

Bonnie-he still laughs about this, too!

Thanks for your comments!
oh hilarious. and yes, we all have those moments...but this one is sooo good.
Oh yeah, kids can certainly have their revenge. I can remember when my youngest son was a mere toddler. I took him to the store one day to do our grocery shopping. The store was crowded and my son was riding in the basket as I wove my way through the isles, picking up our purchases.

As I made my way down the canned veggie isle, I pushed the cart past a very beautiful young lady who had just bent over to pick up an item on the lower shelf. My dear son picked that moment to reach out and whack the lady right on the butt!

She wheeled around with a snarl, ready to take my head off and it took some explaining to convince her that my two year old was the culprit and not his dad....I was just enjoying the view.
Funny!! Just yesterday my grandson told me "the kids told on me in school today". "Why", I asked. "What did you do?"
He said they said he said a bad word. "What did you say?"
"I hurt may hand and I said, dammit I hurt my damned hand. That's not bad. It's what the garbage man said when he hit his hand on the truck."
Help me, Jesus!!
Mimetalker-I have so many Timinator stories as we call them. He was always getting into trouble!

Torman-That is so funny! I am glad you were able to convince her you were not the butt slapper!

Cooking in the sticks-Thanks!

Thanks for all of your comments!
Well, he wasn't lying. Hahahaha.
Fay-out of the mouths of babes!

OEsheepdog-yes, dislocated shoulder by vaccination!

Thank you for your comments!
My mother used to say, " You'd have me in jail." Then I had kids and I understood why she would feel that way.
Excellent leverage, though! Great story!
Well you diiiiid, Mommy -- in a way. You took him to that nasty doctor! Holy moly, today you might end up in the slammer.

Lezlie
Personally, I would have used the occasion to psychologically-scar my kid forever with a response like "Well yeah I did it after you told the first nurse who looked at you a moment ago that her boobs weren't as nice as mommy's!"

(R)
As Art Linkletter used to say, "Kids Say the Darndest Things!"
Christine-that is so true. So many things became clear when I became a parent!

Owl_Says_Who-my son will sometimes start a conversation out with-Remember when you dislocated my shoulder? I told him we were all guilty-the nursing assistants, him, and I!

Lezlie-I was so upset at that hospital! They did call the doctor's office to verify what had really happened!

CrazeCzar-I tend to think that most kids bear some scars from many things that parents have done to them. That would have been too funny! And would have elicited a huge EWW from my 15 year old!

Thanks for your comments!
Mary Ann-that is the truth! Thanks!
Kate-I still have nightmares from trying to take them grocery shopping! I cannot imagine having them in the Vatican. I think they would have broke loose and vandalized a wall or two! Thanks! R
I live in constant fear of what my daughter might say. I wrote a post about a conversation we had in the Vatican...suffice it to say it was inappropriate :)
bluestocking babe-my kids are always telling me that I say inappropriate things, for a Mom. I tell them that aren't they glad I am honest and they always know that I don't run from things-good or bad! I am wondering what you discussed in the Vatican!
Hah! I'll still be laughing at this tonight when I'm trying to sleep!
Scanner, I have loads of stories about my kids. But this one is one we will never forget! Thanks!
whoa...nice! When will you let him out of his room? So funny! r
Muse-he is such a great young man! I really had my doubts about that happening when he was little! Thanks for your comments!
Ha, yes that's a good one. Kids really do say the darndest things.
lol being much older than my sister, I have a few stories about her! Her getting my mom into trouble always gave us older siblings a good giggle :)
My mother did this to me would be a standard response to any complaint in my household! (There are some GOOD things I did to them!)
Caroline-kids sure do say whatever is on their minds!

Alicia-I think that some kids are here just to induce the fear that we are not very good parents!

Bellwether-When my kids used to complain I would tell them that when they grew up they could go on "Oprah" to talk about what a rotten Mom I was! I haven't seen them on her show, yet, so I guess that is a good thing!

Thanks for your comments!
To my unending amazement, my children never repeated the "F word" in spite of their father using it constantly as they grew up....
and he still does! I asked them about this recently, and they said it was my reaction, my facial expression, and what I said to him ("Bob, must you use that word in front.....", etc.) when he used the word during their childhood that kept them from repeating and using it......fortunately!!
Amy-my son tended to repeat some naughty words-I was gardening and complaining about the *amn morning glories, which had taken over my garden. He was helping me clean up and said, "Mom, where should I put the *amn morning glories?". I still laugh about that!
The angelic looking ones are always the stinkers!
Ruth-you are so right! Thanks for your comments!
Kids can say the most embarrassing things sometimes. I am glad you didn't have a worse time afterward. Sometimes, nurses and doctors get stuff in their heads and don't want to let it go. As you are probably aware, innocent parents are turned into the victims in such situations.
I'm relieved that things worked out.
Best Wishes,
Blittie
Blittie, thank you so much for your comments!