In the spirit of the new show "$#*! My Dad Says" on CBS, I am proposing the blog of "Stuff My Kids Said". "Bleep My Dad Says" is based on the twitterings of a young adult who tweets the unfiltered, unedited things his dad would say. He developed quite an audience and now William Shatner is playing hid dad on the new show. We have all had times when are children have said cringe-worthy, embarassing things.
My son, Tim, is a very handsome young man. He is now 20 years old, and when younger he looked almost exactly like Macaulay Culkin. I would have people stop me on the street to ask if he was Macaulay Culkin. At age 5, Tim had just finished an envigorating morning at pre-K. I took him to get a physical for Kindergarten. Unfortunately, he had to get vaccinations-3 of them! It took 2 nursing assistants and myself to hold him down. He got the shots, came home, still sobbing. I told him to lay on the couch and take a nap. When he woke up, I was startled to discover his left shoulder was hanging lower than his right shoulder. I called the doctor's office who advised me to take him to the ER.
I got him to the ER, and when the triage nurse called us in, she asked Tim what happened. With a straight face and a withering look towards me, he replied, "My Mommy did this to me!".
After the nurse called the doctor's office and was assured that I wasn't a child abuser, I was able to take Tim home, with his arm in a sling. I never let him forget that!


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Comments
OMG... I have a few tales to tell like that.
Kids are way funnier than Dads..
Rated with hugs and happy weekend
Bonnie-he still laughs about this, too!
Thanks for your comments!
As I made my way down the canned veggie isle, I pushed the cart past a very beautiful young lady who had just bent over to pick up an item on the lower shelf. My dear son picked that moment to reach out and whack the lady right on the butt!
She wheeled around with a snarl, ready to take my head off and it took some explaining to convince her that my two year old was the culprit and not his dad....I was just enjoying the view.
He said they said he said a bad word. "What did you say?"
"I hurt may hand and I said, dammit I hurt my damned hand. That's not bad. It's what the garbage man said when he hit his hand on the truck."
Help me, Jesus!!
Torman-That is so funny! I am glad you were able to convince her you were not the butt slapper!
Cooking in the sticks-Thanks!
Thanks for all of your comments!
OEsheepdog-yes, dislocated shoulder by vaccination!
Thank you for your comments!
Lezlie
Owl_Says_Who-my son will sometimes start a conversation out with-Remember when you dislocated my shoulder? I told him we were all guilty-the nursing assistants, him, and I!
Lezlie-I was so upset at that hospital! They did call the doctor's office to verify what had really happened!
CrazeCzar-I tend to think that most kids bear some scars from many things that parents have done to them. That would have been too funny! And would have elicited a huge EWW from my 15 year old!
Thanks for your comments!
Alicia-I think that some kids are here just to induce the fear that we are not very good parents!
Bellwether-When my kids used to complain I would tell them that when they grew up they could go on "Oprah" to talk about what a rotten Mom I was! I haven't seen them on her show, yet, so I guess that is a good thing!
Thanks for your comments!
and he still does! I asked them about this recently, and they said it was my reaction, my facial expression, and what I said to him ("Bob, must you use that word in front.....", etc.) when he used the word during their childhood that kept them from repeating and using it......fortunately!!
I'm relieved that things worked out.
Best Wishes,
Blittie