JUNE 12, 2012 11:16AM

I WOULD NOT DO THIS TO A DOG

Rate: 6 Flag

If you have read my previous ramblings, you know that I am undergoing treatment for breast cancer.   I have seen mulitple copies of something someone wrote  "What Cancer Cannot Do".  It is a positive statement for those under treatment and for those who care about them.   Well, I am telling you right now.....cancer may not do it, but this damn chemo can change you.    I am 62, been married for 33 years, am an RN with a very big job, people tell me all the time how strong and tough I am.    Well, let me just tell you in this safe place where few of you know my name.....I am not.   Just the second round of OMG six treatments has turned me into a whiny, pitiful lump of nothing.   This stuff is awful.   I have so much admiration for those who have fought this bravely.   I have a long list of friends, family and coworkers who are out there believing in me...wearing t-shirts, sending messages.  I hope my husband is lying to them and telling them I am tough and brave.   I am not.

 We have a dog.  She is a mutt.  She is not the smartest dog I have ever known, but she is cute and sweet.   Since I got sick she has become my constant companion.  She follows me from room to room.   She sleeps on her bed at the foot of my bed.   This morning she did not want to go out as she usually does.   My husband made her go out and threatened her with chemo to get her moving.   It certainly keeps me in the bathroom...do not worry..no details.    I looked at him and said..."I would not do this to a dog" and I wouldn't. 

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I'm glad you have 2 down. Your attitude is just right for this treatment. The best a person can do is drag herself through it step by step. It's way too much to expect that you would be cheerful about it! I think people at work will understand just fine if you tell them that you're probably (read "absolutely") not going to be energetic, cheerful and perky until you get through with this, but it is just temporary. Also, the doctor is monitoring your white cell count etc and will adjust the treatment according to how you are doing. Hang in there but you don't have to be strong, just muddle through it. It's so great to have a dog who empathizes with your current plight and stays with you!
Spencer Thripworth III
June 12, 2012 11:56 AM
I was just thinking of you the other day and missing your sass but now realize there is no way I can understand but realize and value the ability to just sit comfortably and write, or paint, or walk the dog, and appreciate the effort and faith it took for you to share.
kenneth houck
June 12, 2012 01:13 PM
Thank goodness for our furry little ones. We have a cat who gets concerned when one of us isn't feeling well. Also a chihuahua, but he would sell me out for a biscuit.

I don't really know what to say to someone who has cancer. It is so scary, so real, a lottery that no one wants to claim. I hope that you will feel better very soon. *hugs*
Lucinda Bliss
June 12, 2012 01:23 PM
I'm sorry you're going through this. I can't think of a more appropriate occasion to complain, or a more perfect excuse!

I had a cat who got thyroid cancer in his old age--I couldn't see putting HIM through the miseries of chemo, either, so we said a loving good night.
(Not that I'm advocating this approach for your husband!)

rated
Shiral
June 12, 2012 05:03 PM
Gary, I am so pleased to hear that smart ass is the right attitude. I have a great deal of experience with smart ass.

Ken, it is hard to post when you sleep most of the time....which I prefer but I must get past.

Lucinda..a loyal cat is rare....go with a big dog next time....small dogs are not always kind.

Shiral, we did not treat our elderly German Shepherd for lymphoma..it was the right call. My poor husband, who is also a nurse, is being tested with this. He is so encouraging and I have not been wanted to cooperate. He is so worried and knows I should eat and drink more.

thanks to all of you....for a southern girl, the kindness of strangers is quite wonderful.
Liberal Southern Democrat
June 13, 2012 09:23 AM
My heart goes out to you. We have two friends undergoing chemo now. Two men, and they are not pretending to be tough. It is an awful treatment. They've got to come up with something else. In the meantime, thank God for your dog. Dogs intuite and dogs love, in a way that surpasses understanding.
Pam Malone
June 16, 2012 07:53 PM
Thanks Pam. I agree there has to be something else. I have had a better day by adjusting some meds. I hope your friends have good nurses to call on with help for their symptoms. Tell them I and many others understand their misery.
Liberal Southern Democrat
June 16, 2012 08:21 PM
So glad you have the deep abiding love of your dog and your husband during this ordeal. Being stoic is so overrated. Very glad you updated us. Just do what you can to get through.
r./
onislandtime
June 16, 2012 10:29 PM
I empathise with you. I looked after my brother when he went through this. It was hard on him. Afterwards he said that he was quite well acquainted with hell because he'd been there. Hard to keep your dignity and your spirits up when going through this kind of trauma and pain. I find it odd that it is often the bravest among us who claim not be brave and believe me lady I think you're pretty darned brave.

When it comes to empathy we are novices compared to our furry canine companions. They win first prize for loyalty, empathy and unconditional love. All the best to you and your dog.
Seamoremonster
June 16, 2012 10:40 PM
My Dad went through leukemia and a friend recently survived lymphoma. Dad was hospitalized for the entire treatment, my friend in and out. Both of them pulled in and got through it and said it was the hardest thing they've ever done. One minute at a time. It's good you have your dog there to keep an eye on you.
just phyllis
June 16, 2012 10:51 PM
Nurses are so much more caring than doctors. I wish the nurses were the doctors! My one friend chose a teaching hospital with state of the art technology , but the bedside manner of the doctors is horrible! My husband works as a volunteer at the hospital where he had an operation, because the atmosphere and staff are so caring. I think that trumps technology every time. I hope you are in a loving and supportive environment.
Pam Malone
June 18, 2012 10:50 AM