It takes a heap o' trainin'
To make a kid a Sloper,
A striving over-reacher
Who'll never be a moper.
Stroller culture starts him
In socializing with others,
Acknowledging his peers
And choosing model brothers.
He needs to prepare for Slopehood
By learning to sashay
Exactly like mom and pater
Into a swank cafe.
And now a brand new course
In living at the top--
His very own tailored coffee
At just two bucks a pop:
Steamed milk barista-ed with decaf
Devised for the bambino
Who'll need suite smarts aplenty---
A drink called babyccino.
Our upper-middle-classer-
To-be sips his with poise,
Rubbing elbows with fellow
Upscaling girls and boys.
To make a kid a Sloper,
A striving over-reacher
Who'll never be a moper.
Stroller culture starts him
In socializing with others,
Acknowledging his peers
And choosing model brothers.
He needs to prepare for Slopehood
By learning to sashay
Exactly like mom and pater
Into a swank cafe.
And now a brand new course
In living at the top--
His very own tailored coffee
At just two bucks a pop:
Steamed milk barista-ed with decaf
Devised for the bambino
Who'll need suite smarts aplenty---
A drink called babyccino.
Our upper-middle-classer-
To-be sips his with poise,
Rubbing elbows with fellow
Upscaling girls and boys.
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alfred booth
elizabethkirby
jlsathre
Nick Leshi
Diary of a Hopeful Starving Student
Kate O'hehir
Salon.com
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