Please be on the lookout for a Caucasian female, mid 30’s, with dark hair and glasses. Last “seen†shortly before Thanksgiving. Sometimes frequents the virtual halls of OS, leaving her wit, snark, and humor on random posts. Has been known to answer to the name of “Lucy†but only if I’m… Read full post »

one is blinded by fear and sadness

the other by love and hope

neither sees the pain they cause

the sadness

the loneliness

the apprehension

all of it lost in their own selfish hazes

one dwells in the past

the other thinks of the future

neither lives in the present… Read full post »

Hard to believe it’s been one year. Did you think a conversation about a web site would evolve into this? I have to admit, I was giddy when you sent me that message. Not because of the idea of working on something with you, but because it would give me a… Read full post »

There’s something I’ve been struggling with for awhile now. Tough love. When do you give it? How do you give it? Should you give it? There’s a line in Moonstruck that always plays in my head when I feel like I’m in a situation where tough love is needed: Snap out… Read full post »

The plan had been to drive down to her parents for Thanksgiving, just like every other year. Gabrielle usually packed herself and the dog into the car the day before and drove when traffic wasn’t as bad. That was her plan this year, despite the pull she felt to spend the… Read full post »

Blame it on getting older. Blame it on major changes that have taken place in my life this year. Blame it on my chiropractor, who seems to have restored normal bloodflow to my brain. Whatever the reason, I seem to be in a reflective mood these days. Sit back and enjoy… Read full post »

in the blink of an eye
almost an entire year passed
we were both adrift
alone in our own worlds
a chance meeting
paths crossed on the Open sea
now tethered
moving together
courses changed forever
better for me
perhaps worse for you
you say i’m your anchor
but am i… Read full post »

It’s funny how landscapes can bring memories flooding back to you. I’ve spent a lot of time in the last month driving through areas that I used to frequent. The new commute takes me through my college town and the surrounding areas where I spent so many years of my adult… Read full post »

Sometimes, it’s hard to get out of our own heads. I’ve certainly had that problem a lot lately. Thinking about the past year, I get caught up in the things I could have done differently, the mistakes I’ve made. It’s a bad habit, acquired over many decades. The other day was… Read full post »

Resigned to your pain

Resigned to my insecurities

Resigned to your grief

Resigned to my neuroses

Resigned to silence

Resigned to waiting

Resigned to not knowing

Resigned to being alone

Resigned to hope

Resigned to what could be

Resigned to a future together

Resigned to handing my heart… Read full post »

Fall and Winter mornings have a quality that you often can’t find at other times of the year. Early morning clouds and fog shroud the landscape in a mist that seems to come from another place. If you can block out the traffic and people and distractions, the world can become… Read full post »

Gabrielle stared out the window at the gloomy, gray sky and felt an overwhelming sense of…too much. Depression. Fear. Suffocation. Rain streamed down from the sky, almost as if it was sobbing. She somehow felt that was appropriate today. She thought about stepping out the door and letting the drops… Read full post »

Sometimes I think life would be much simpler if I didn’t have a heart. Not the physical organ that makes it possible for me to be here. No, I’m referring to the metaphorical heart, the thing that makes us feel. The mystical entity that gives rise to love and passion. The… Read full post »

I stared out the windshield at the gray, dismal sky, watching drops off rain bounce off the hood of my car, much like the silent tears waiting to fall from my own tired eyes. Looking at the clock, I saw that 10 minutes had passed. 10 minutes and I had only… Read full post »

Do you ever look back at the events of the past year and say, “it’s ONLY been a year?†Sometimes it feels like several years have passed in one. Like this last year.

One year ago, I regained my freedom. No, I wasn’t in prison. Well, not the criminal kind, at… Read full post »

That you won’t hide from me when it feels like the walls are closing in

That you will learn to trust in love again

That the monsters will leave us both in peace

That I could take the pain of the past away

That we will take care of each other… Read full post »

Sometimes, all it takes to turn my day around are a few words from her. Most of the time, it doesn’t really even matter what those words are. Just knowing she is there supporting me, loving me, watching out for me, that’s what makes me smile. Lucy has had that affect… Read full post »

How many times had I imagined this moment? Too many to count. So many months had passed. Thousands of messages exchanged. Cherished phone calls where our voices gave life to the words that ran through our heads all day. But to lay eyes on one another at last? That was a… Read full post »

In all the writing that I’ve done, my favorites have been my music posts. Aside from being a subject I love to talk about, I’ve always felt that music better often expressed how I felt about my world and the world around me better than I could. Those posts also gave… Read full post »

You know what starts tomorrow? No? Well, let me tell you. Another trial on Prop 8. I know I don’t need to explain what that is by now. If I do, well, you’ve clearly been living under a rock. Google it.

You sick of hearing about this issue? Well, I’m… Read full post »

A friend told me recently that I need to make my writing less personal. It reminded me of a time nearly 20 years ago when another friend said to me, “I love you and you’re one of my best friends, but when I get off the phone with you, I’m always… Read full post »

Gabrielle opened her eyes to unfamiliar surroundings. It took her a minute to remember where she was.

“Ah, yes,” she thought. “We’re on vacation.”

She looked out the French doors and smiled. She and Lucy were on their first vacation together. After everything they had bo… Read full post »

The days all blur together now one turns to five turns to ten turns to thirty not knowing what will happen or how you are or if I’ve done something wrong all those days gone by since everything turned upside down without warning I know you’re there that much you’ve given… Read full post »

Neither of them was looking for a relationship when they met. Gabrielle was coming out of a toxic situation that lasted a few years too many. Lucy was still dealing with her own personal losses. They just started talking and quickly became friends. The beauty of online correspondence is that it… Read full post »

since you went away
the days have seemed longer
emptier
sadder

it's hard not knowing
what you're doing
what you're thinking
how you're feeling

i know we both feel it
the uncertainty
the insecurities
the fears

are your monsters screaming too?
making you doubt?
breaking you down?
taking away hope?

the… Read full post »