Part two of the open call:

1.  Los Angeles.  This is everything I hate about a city--a giant sprawling smoggy ugly strip mall that goes on and on and on, punctuated by far too many billboards for cosmetic surgeons.  Surprising the hell out of myself, I really liked it.

2.  Ci… Read full post »

Part two of the open call:

1.  Los Angeles.  This is everything I hate about a city--a giant sprawling smoggy ugly strip mall that goes on and on and on, punctuated by far too many billboards for cosmetic surgeons.  Surprising the hell out of myself, I really liked it.

2.  Ci… Read full post »

In response to Beth Mann and Alysa Salzberg's open calls:

1.  Poetry.  This is going to surprise a whole hell of a lot of people, considering I have an M.F.A. in writing the damn stuff.  I can dash off sonnets and triolets and terza rima.  But let's face it: most poetry, my… Read full post »

In the past few weeks, I’ve been trying to avoid the Penn State scandal as much as possible.  I’m not a football fan, and to tell the truth, didn’t even know who Joe Paterno was until he ended his career in disgrace.  I think everyone involved deserves their day in court… Read full post »

1.  Heather Mills versus Yoko Ono.  Ms. Mills is not allowed to wear or brandish her wooden leg.  Ms. Ono is not allowed to sing. 

2.  William Shatner versus Leonard Nimoy.  Shater is allowed to use his girdle as a weapon.  Nimoy is allowed to tag-team the match of… Read full post »

 Putting Makeup on Dead People by Jen Violi

Hyperion Book CH

ISBN 10--1423134818

ISBN 13--978-1423134818

Available May 24, 2011, at Amazon, Barnes and Noble, and independent booksellers

(The following is solely my own opinion and does not reflect that of the author or anyone else connected to th… Read full post »

 Guess what I found in the nestbox this morning? Read full post »

In the streets of my neighborhood today.  I'm towards the end, dressed as Janis Joplin. 

(The music is Fats Domino and Allen Toussaint, "Hey Las Bas Boogie" off the album "Alligator Alley."  I make no money from this video, but you all should go out and buy their music.) Read full post »

(This needs to be sung to the tune of this.  I can't sing, but it's not like Malvina Reynolds really could either.)

I am dropping lots of students

I am dropping 'cause they don't show up

And they don't turn in their homework

And they roll their eyes at me

When… Read full post »

(Back as a teenager, I had a beat-up Pentax K1000 camera with a slightly wonky light meter.  I used up a whole lot of film taking pictures of random crap around the house, repositioning lamps, holding my hand over part of the flash, etc., to get a sense of how the thing was calibr… Read full post »

Back in March, I started something I called The Fuck You I Built a Goddamn House Fund.   The premise was pretty simple--I was going to take 10% of whatever money crossed my hands in 2010--some of it pre-tax waitressing tips, some of it post-tax paychecks, some of it birthday money from… Read full post »

In the spring of 1987, when I was six-almost-seven and my brother Eric was four-almost-five, our parents bought a split-level house just outside of Greensburg, Indiana.  Said house was originally built in 1961, was both the architect's and the head contractor's first attempt at buildin… Read full post »

The Munoz Family of Matagulpa, Nicaragua. Read full post »

"Young Adult Fiction:  Wild Things" by Naomi Wolf 

Leeandra:  "OK, how many people here have read any of the Gossip Girl books?  (most of the girls' hands go up)  How many people have watched the show?  (nearly all of the hands go up).  First thoughts on this essay-… Read full post »

This is the computer image of the canceled check (with the identity-theft info blacked out, of course).  Progress on this project went ahead of schedule. 

Next project (hopefully by next Christmas):  a street/security light.

 NOTE:  The title of this blog post… Read full post »

 June 11, 1992 

Dear Journal,

I am bored. Bored bored bored. There is nothing to do here. I read the part on polio in the book of Knowledge* and it was good but boring. I hate it here. I hate my parents. Eric is a droid. I read all of the… Read full post »

 Sometimes, when you're panting and exhausted and dizzy and disoriented because you smacked your head into a window one too many times and got accidentally swept up with the trash by the janitor, the best thing to do is calm down and let someone give you… Read full post »

Nobody will hire a teenager to do anything that isn’t disgusting.—Christina Applegate’s character Sue Ellen in 1991’s Don’t Tell Mom the Babysitter’s Dead.

I’m not an economist, but I’m not stupid either.  And today, I’d like to talk about an… Read full post »

First lined, boned dress with a zipper I've ever attempted to make from scratch.

Yeah, right.

Neck straps and boobage part semi-complete.

Gathers put in under boobage, waistband and back attached.

Skirt is put together.  Also, I do in fact… Read full post »

$2,093.77.  $1,006.23 to go. Read full post »

That's my foot.  That's your typical NOLA cockroach. Read full post »

I AM working on real blog posts and not home videos of me failing to break a pinata or my birds humping inappropriate things, but I've been extremely busy these past few months. 

I left the art sales world.  Still waitressing on weekends for the time being.  Starting next week, I… Read full post »

Elvis sweet-talks the oscillating fan and shows off his dance moves, because even if your relationship mainly consists of humping like bunnies, or, well, humping like cockatiels and small household cooling appliances, it's nice to have a little old-fashioned romance once in a while.

 … Read full post »

I been working.  Working WAAAAAAYYYY too much.  I'll have to do something about that one of these years.

Oh, and I went the LONG way through Florida (most of the panhandle over, then most of the way down towards Miami) for a wedding.

As always, my cheapo camera will take you… Read full post »

In my defense, neither of Ginny's boys can read yet.