By now you’ve probably read that this past weekend, former Senator Rick Santorum accused President Obama of basing his policies on a “phony theology… not based on the Bible.” Considering that Santorum leads Romney among evangelical protestant voters by a ratio of 2 to 1 (http://www.christianpost.com/news/santorum-leading-romney-with-evangelicals-catholics-69658/), one hopes he knows what he’s talking about.

Personally, I have a few doubts.

The chief target lately is Obama’s sweeping health care reform law, but Santorum has also criticized the president’s record on SNAP (Food Stamps) spending and recent speeches that are viewed as inciting “class warfare.”

I think we have to admit that President Obama is a Christian – I mean, how else can we lambast his former pastor, Reverend Jeremiah Wright? (In retrospect, that whole debacle seems like a risky GOP smear-tactic, because it assumes the president *isn’t* a radical Muslim sleeper agent.) But are his policies truly Bible-based, and not drawn from some insidious other text, like the United States Constitution?

What do Biblical policies actually look like?

"Jesus answered, ‘If you want to be perfect, go, sell your possessions and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.'" Matthew 19:21

“I don’t want to make black people’s lives better by giving them somebody else’s money.” Rick Santorum

Hmmm.

“‘Because of the oppression of the weak and the groaning of the needy, I will now arise,’ says the LORD. ‘I will protect them from those who malign them.’" Psalm 12:5

"We shouldn't have a society that has a president who envies or creates class warfare or envy between one group of people and another… people rise to different levels of success based on what they contribute to society.” Rick Santorum

One more:

“The weak you have not strengthened, the sick you have not healed, the injured you have not bound up, the strayed you have not brought back, the lost you have not sought, and with force and harshness you have ruled them.” Ezekiel 34: 4

“I got into this race because I saw Obamacare as a threat to the very foundational principles of our country," Rick Santorum

I wonder what happened to those shepherds in the last passage who only looked after themselves. They’re the job creators, right?

Doesn’t matter. I’m on board: Rick Santorum is the only candidate who can protect us from the socialist policies of Jesus Christ. (He even used to “pal around” with disciples who said things like, "The man with two tunics should share with him who has none, and the one who has food should do the same." Luke 3:11) President Santorum slams socialism every chance he gets, and he acts like he’s read at least some of the Bible, so any day now he’ll call out God’s blatant favoritism towards the poor.

And we can rest assured that Rick Santorum is indeed basing his policies on the Bible. The greedy and the wicked that are routinely called out by people of God, to be specific. But it’s still technically “biblical.” It’s like when Wicked came out, and suddenly the Wicked Witch was the hero and Dorothy became the bad guy.

Or maybe his Bible had a few pages torn out (some 1200 or so), the ones that happened to deal with social justice.

Either that or Rick Santorum is just replaying deranged conservative talking points to generate base support and glean donations from wealthy backers, with no regard to what his faith or his Bible instruct.

"Again I say to you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle, than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God." Matthew 19:24

"There is income inequality in America, there always has been, and hopefully, there always will be." Rick Santorum