The first Angels I met were when I was a child.  Both my parents were abusive, which most likely led to my introduction to my guardian angel when I was a young child.  I never knew who she was when I was young.  In fact I think I got Haniel and I confused quite a lot till I understood who I was.  It was just she was there to protect me so often.  She is beautiful. She has blond hair and blue eyes and long flowing robes.  She had doves that surrounded her.  In many ways, she was my Mother.  

Haniel told me where to go to be safe when I was a child.  And many times I think she urged my Grandparents to come and get me.  Both my parents did drugs on top of smoking marijuana.  They both mentally and physically abused me.  Haniel was always there when something was going to happen to me.  She would prepare me.   

Angels cannot intefere with human free will but they can help people with situations at hand.  I have blocked most of the memories I have of my real mother out of my head not will I was around seven to eight years old.  I first lived with my Great Grandparents and then I lived iwth my Mother's parents or my Grandparents.  There were times my Father was not allowed to come near me.  

He tried to kidnapp me more than once.  He left me for good when I was around nine.  I don't remember seeing him after the age of nine.  His visits were strained when he would come.  He had been given shock therapy because he was paranoid pschizophrenic.  I had a strange life growing up.  His disease haunts me in my nightmares.

It was my Mother who would use a combination of mental and physical abuse that would lead to such low self-esteem in me that I would attempt suicide.  It was often that I would be called names and punished with a slap across the face that would leave bruises.  And the days she called me off of school and hid me from family members claiming I was sick did not make sense till I was older.   She had been abused as a child and this was one cycle I was determined to break and did successfully break.  I never abuse my children mentally by call them names, degrade them, or abuse them physically by hitting them.  But through it all Haniel was with me.  

 Many people have said, "You have one hard life."  I, however, would like to say God put me where he needed me.  In some, crazy kind of way out of the middle of all that was going on I found Jesus.  My mother sent me to Sunday School because she was hung over often on Sundays from the night before.  She needed a babysitter for me.  I enjoyed Sunday School to me Jesus was my savior indeed.  It was here I would find normalcy and it was here with Jesus that I would begin taking that normalcy home.  This is the reason I believe God sent me into this family.  I was his messenger and their chance to find God.  I still pray for them. 

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I found Jesus there and brought Jesus into their life.  Many times I was made fun of.  I was told I was stupid as an adolescent and too christian like.  I was told if Jesus were real he would not let the worlds poor suffer so.  And I responded with if God did not care he would not have sent his only son to take away the sins of the world, for it was people that did these horrible crimes and God had gave us free will.  Then I ask would we rather be slaves or children of God with the free will to  do what we want.

Around that time in my adolescent  years I figured out it was it was people that were responsible for the suffering in the world and not God.  The Angels could be called on to help us but we have to ask very exclusively and precisely with our words for what we want help for.  It was about that time in my adolescents that I started standing up for myself, but for who would I be without Jesus?  I would have been nothing.  

I remained with Jesus till I was in my mid thirties and then I began to question everything when I was in college.  I think evolutionary biology really did me in.  Then around five years ago my son was diagnosed with autism.  I remember sitting in Children's Hospital and the doctor asking me what was the worst thing I could think of she would tell me.  I said, "It has to be that my son is autistic, afterall that is what we are testing for."  

She then said, "Yes, he has autism and he has a thirty-percent chance of ever speaking." And the rest of the time in the room was a blurr.  I remember her saying something like, "Well, at least he is not dying."  Her last words as she left the room just made me cry all that much more.  It took me forty-eight hours to take it all in and stop crying.  

Somewhere in the middle of it I lost my faith, but God, Jesus, and his angels never lost their faith in me.  I had at that time turned my back on Jesus and God.  And it took that moment to help me understand how that can happen with people.  It was my free will that allowed me to knock God and Jesus out of my life and effectively their help which I regret to this day. But the in the middle of all of this, the Angels were here for me.  

You do not have to believe in Angels for them to believe in you.  And they can come to you.  They can not do anything unless you ask them for help.  But they can give you hints and leave divine messages for you.  Just as Metatron entered my life really the day that I rejected God and his son who I had loved for so long.  

Right before the doctor had come into the room to inform me  of my son's diagnoses there was a bright light.  The light was brighter than I have ever seen before.  And even before I had taken it all in he had put the message of the very God I had rejected into my mind.  The message was and the one I stood up and told the lady that day was, "My son will talk."  And two days later I ordered $300 dollars worth of advanced manuals and books on autism.  

I know metatron was with me all the way.  Now I recognize his voice.  But it was not untill I found God again that I really developed my relationship with Metatron.  Some say he is a fictional angel.  Some say he does not exists, but to me he does.  Metatron has the whole way through helped me out with my son.  I believe Metatron is my son's guardian angel.  He is the angel for all children with disabilities many believe.  My son now speaks fluently, writes, reads, understands emotions, follows directions, and the list is growing.

Angels to me are as real as people, sometimes more real.  I pray to God and sometimes Jesus.  But in my everyday life, now, after many years of their divine effort, I can and have seen them.  My daughter sees them too.  But we keep this to ourself.  After all, with me having a father who had shock therapy and her having a grandfather having shock therapy, we feel it is best to keep it to ourselves.  But I feel that her having seen them without me telling her of my experience with them, that it does show us that Angels do exists.  And in my adult life I have met even more of the Arch Angels: Raphael, Michael, Ariel, and Gabriel.