koshersalaami

koshersalaami
Birthday
October 01
Bio
Male, Jewish, in my extremely early sixties, married with kids (well, at this point I guess that should be "kid"). Thanks to Lezlie for avatar artwork - sort of a translation of my screen name. "Salaam" is peace in Arabic, hence the peace sign. (No, my name doesn't mean "hunk of meat" and yes, the pun is intentional.)

MY RECENT POSTS

Koshersalaami's Links

Salon.com
APRIL 11, 2012 9:03PM

Tales of J: A Rookie Parenting Mistake

Rate: 25 Flag

I might write about my late son once in a while. The stories may range all over the map. Some will be more about the whole experience than about him per se. This one, however, is absolutely about him.

I was driving, with my son in the back of the minivan. He was between two and three years old, probably a few months after his mother went on Jeopardy. I have a habit of talking to myself and I was either listening to the radio or simply thinking about something. Anyway, I muttered "bullshit" to myself, thinking nothing of it.

Until, a few seconds later,  a high little voice pipes from the back seat:

"boosheet."

I didn't see that coming, so I did the worst possible thing:

I laughed.

Do you know what happens when a little boy discovers something that makes his father laugh?

"Boosheet! Boosheet! Boosheet!" Now I've got to ("Boosheet!") keep a straight ("Boosheet!") face so he doesn't ("Boosheet!") keep saying ("Boosheet!") this because I'm ("Boosheet!") going to have ("Boosheet!") trouble ("Boosheet!") explaining to (Boosheet!) his mother ("Boosheet!") exactly how ("Boosheet!") he picked up ("Boosheet!") this new ("Boosheet!") vocabulary ("Boosheet!") word.

I kept a straight  ("Boosheet!") face long enough for him to stop and forget, thank God, so his mother didn't hear it from him.

She heard it from me.

There's no way I wasn't telling her about this. If I was going to get in trouble, it was worth it.

Your tags:

TIP:

Enter the amount, and click "Tip" to submit!
Recipient's email address:
Personal message (optional):

Your email address:

Comments

Type your comment below:
As charming a personal story as I have read here. r.
Great story... kids are awesome...
Rated with love
haha...what a cutie... :)
It's adorable. I look forward to learning more about your son and your experiences as a father.
I'll do more of these. Some will be more involved
How did you stop laughing? "Boosheet" is so adorable I think I'll try that pronounciation!
@koshersalaami

Beautiful story children pick language so quickly. My oldest daughter was riding in the car with me when she was about three. She saw a Baskin Robins and said lets go get some ice cream. I told her that her mother had dinner cooking at home and she would be mad if we spoiled our appetites. Her reply if she does I'll kick her fuckin' ass.
This made me smile. I hope it does the same to you.
TGD,
With difficulty.

Anthony,
I'd have flipped out.

Barbara,
It sure did.
Teehee!!
It took months for my then-two year old daughter to stop saying "Oh, Jesus!" after she heard my late-husband say it. In his defense, he had just hit his head hard enough to almost to knock himself out while putting said child in our van.
Great story And a darn lot of control to keep from laughing. That's good parenting.
Doh. I muttered "asshole" under my breath to another driver who cut me off, and thought my grandson - who was strapped in the back - hadn't registered the word. Well, we got back to my daughter's house, and he ran out of his bedroom, yelled "Asshole!" at the top of his lungs, and ran back into his room with his hands over his mouth. My daughter just glared at me. Oops.
This story is not boosheet!
Most definitely worth it.
Yes, you are definitely "not alone". Thanks for the lovely lighthearted laugh "cum" Good Parenting post!

R
Funny how some memory's sear themselves into the soul. I guess that is what makes us individuals. I have found that it is better and far less painful to be Legion.
It took my husband and I two weeks to figure out my 2-year-old son was saying "Go F--- Off" until he used it in context and the light bulb went off. We thought he was talking about some sort of construction equipment. When we didn't know what he was saying, that was generally a good guess. We laughed too, it's hard not to. We gave him the lecture about words that make people sad, or angry, and we like to use happy words. We were fine until my in-laws came to visit and he announced, "We don't tell people to F--- off, because it makes them sad and angry." Luckily they couldn't understand it either, so as my husband and I held our breaths, my mother-in-law merely said, "That's very nice dear."
I didn't realize how many parents go through this and I especially didn't realize how easy I got off. This all happened in the privacy of the car.
Loved this. Can relate. It ain't a booshit story and that is what is so wonderful.
Hahahaha! I think it's the hyper emphasis we put on swear words that gets their attention. When my son was around 18 months old he slipped on the newly waxed kitchen floor and landed on his little butt. His response? "Oh shit!"
Booshit! Hah~~~~
Good story. Good memories are the greatest gifts.

r
After adopting a near 3yr old child from Romania....he first learned the work hamburger, but said it like Arnold Schwarzeneggar...hUmbUga. Then he spent a few hours with my father and learned this phrase "Damn carseat!"
Thank you all

Lezlie,
I think you're right about the reason
Love it. And so glad you can enjoy remembering, and sharing, the good times. And that's not boosheet!
Similar experience, only I knew damned well I had better not laff. Hit my thumb when the screwdriver slipped out of the screw as I was standing on a chair putting up some blinds. I uttered the "F" word with visceral passion. Immediately heard it echo back to me from behind and below. Turned around gingerly and there sat Sarah, about three. She'd crawled into the room without me knowing it and was watching daddy work. The smile on her face radiated pride that she had learned a new word. I had to fite to keep from laffing as I distracted her with some jibberjabber about this and that to take her mind off her discovery. Never heard her utter that word or any other vulgar or profane word or expression since. She'll be 19 in July.
This apparently happens to a whole lot of parents. Glad to hear the stories.
Love it. I walk with my friend and her kids - toddler and infant. The toddler is using the toilet now and loves saying "poopwater!" to everyone on the bike path. They have no idea what he's talking about; it might as well be "Boorah!" And why not just yell poopwater! to the skies?