The old lady is driving me nuts!
She is now refusing to talk with me, because of a phone call she answered for me yesterday. They called me back this morning. I simply said, “ it was the doctors office, they wanted to change my appointment” Her reply was, “ well why didn't they say that, they are damned liars!” So because I tried to explain to her, that she only heard part of what the woman was saying, she blew her stack. “ I heard everything she said, perfectly clear! She wouldn't say who she was! When I asked if it was the doctors office, she said forget it, I will call back later. She's a damned liar!”
What do you do with a 91 year old, who is almost totally deaf? Who insists she hears every word, you or others say but doesn't. She tells people " you know I'm deaf, so you'll have to speak up". Then she proceeds to try and listen anyway. She fills in the blanks! She hears what she thinks someone is saying, then manufactures the rest. Like the other day. I went up to my camper, to do some work on it. I called when I was leaving, to let her know I was on my way home. I said over and over “ I'm leaving now, I'll be home around six o'clock to fix dinner.” Now this is what Mom said she heard. “ We are going to have chicken on a stick for dinner”. When I got home, all she said “ what's chicken on a stick, and why did you call to tell me that?” When I told her NO MOM, THAT'S NOT WHAT I SAID! She started to argue with me. “ I heard you! You said we're having chicken on a stick for dinner!” Once again I tried to tell her, that was not what I said. She just turned away and made a face, and closed her eyes.
A few weeks ago, it was the news that got us arguing. She announced to me “Jerry Lewis has Muscular Dystrophy, and won't be doing his marathon.” I told her, “ No Mom, Jerry Lewis doesn't have Muscular Dystrophy!” She replied with, “they showed him, he has Muscular Dystrophy, he can barely talk or walk!” I told her no, he's just old. Again she countered with. “ I know what I heard. They said he has Muscular Dystrophy and won't be doing his marathon on TV!” Ok, whatever Mom. “ Don't talk down to me like that! I know what I hear!”.
She wonders why our neighbor does not come over to see her anymore. The neighbor explained to me some time ago. “ Poor thing, she can't hear a word I say to her!” It wouldn't be a problem if she just would admit that she doesn't hear what people say to her. But instead she makes up, what she thinks they say, and then argues about it. She then tells that to other people! So she creates ill will. With me, with the neighbors, with relatives. She watches nothing but soap operas and the news. She doesn't read, she has no hobbies. She just sits there in her chair and snoops on the neighbors, or watches TV. Then she argues with the TV because, it switches the channel on her. She can never admit, that she has problems using the remote! Oh yes she has one other pastime. Counting and sorting her pills. She does this almost every other day! She has to make sure she has all her pills, and that they are sorted right. Her memory, it's selective. She has some short term memory loss, but it seems to be selective. If she argued about something. She remembers it word for word. If it's something else, she will conveniently forget it.
I'm at wits end! She is such a miserable old lady. All she says over and over is “ It's time for God to take me, I don't want to live anymore. I just want to be with your father!” This is a litany I hear over and over. Especially if she disagrees with you on something. You have to scream at her, for her to hear you. Then she wonders why you are screaming at her. “ You don't have to keep yelling!”
I get angry, and I say to her. “ Your'e going to live to be 110, because God doesn't want you!” I don't mean to be unkind to her. She is my mother, and I love her, but damn it to hell. She drives me nuts! She constantly worries about everything. She wonders if I'll have enough money to live on, when she's gone ( so do I, but I don't obsess on it ) She worries about relatives, especially here sister. You see here sister has old age dementia, and doesn't have a worry in the world. That makes her “ not there in the head”. Because she pooh poohs, my Mom and all her worries! Her sister is HAPPY! That makes her, “not my sister anymore”. When I tell her she needs to stop worrying about everything, she answer. “ Well somebody has to worry, nobody else does!”
Well, I'm glad I got that off my chest! Now I can get washed up and take the poor dog for a walk. Shes's giving me the silent treatment. I don't know if that's better or worse. :-)