The Fatal Error:

Code 0: FATAL: terminating connection due to administrator command....

Yes Virginia, there are rats chewing away at the little boards and sockets of the mysterious OS servers

_{Justin Slothrat} 

Lots of errors occurred!

&nbs… Read full post »

Wow. I think I slept through the last few months. Someone told it me was god damned Christmas yesterday, and I said no friggin' way dude. But she said “yes friggin' way and if you would get off that friggin' beer swill you live on, maybe you'd know what day it… Read full post »

I was all ready to rock out to the Nuge, when I found out the army canceled his concert. Just because they were afraid all those earth day people could somehow direct the meteor shower at him, and finally get rid of “The Nugent Problem”.

One of the… Read full post »

Hey. Mother's day is coming up. I can't really remember when, since I've been high for about three weeks straight now. The stupid hipsters next door left a giant bag of pot sitting out on the front porch, and I grabbed it. I'm not really into that shit, but… Read full post »

I slept all day and night yesterday, and I missed the Oscars. I don't have a TV to watch them on, but last year I could see the TV through the hipster's window next door.

I don't go to movies, but there's a lot of movies in my… Read full post »

Some idiot in Siberia got a new camcorder and filmed his best friend, who was shit-faced on vodka dancing around in a Woolly Mammoth suit, eating strawberries and crossing a little home made river.

Apparently the cameraman sneezed all over the lens, so it's all blurry and screwed up,… Read full post »

It was too dark for our photographer to catch the horrific act, but many witnesses claim that last night they viewed Tim Tebow down on one knee in a back alley performing abortions on pregnant rat mothers. He was overheard reciting John 3:16 and crying.

One onlooker asked… Read full post »

We have just been informed from a little known and obscure anonymous source that both Girl Scout Cookies and Hostess bakery products have been using RAT ADDITIVES to their beloved recipes.

When we told a mister Justin Slothwright of this as he was laying on the ground waking… Read full post »

Yesterday afternoon some idiot knocked on my door, waking me up from my second nap of the day. “Hi, I'm Brutus McManhole, and I'm here to invite you to our Winter Solstice holiday potluck down at the Hobbit Trailer Park tonight”. WTF? I must have had some really bad… Read full post »

Fresh off the relief of yet another appeal, Barry Bonds has decided to offer free shipping on his website imarat.com for all rat purchases throughout the remainder of the month of December. “I'm a rat, well, actually I'm not a rat, so in honor of what I am and… Read full post »

That dude Adam Carolla showed at the doorstep of the hipsters next door, ready to rip them a new one. I heard them ask him inside and offer him a pumpkin ale, and he just laughed and said “I'm going to douche you with that fucking swill you spoiled… Read full post »

Consumer's Digest For Dummies just announced the Black Friday Deals endorsed by Tim Tebow and Jason Witten.

Both endorsed a special portable 4” TV, saying “The GE 4” black and white flat-screen TV is almost impossible to make out any detail on, so you can't really see how… Read full post »

We here at pondscumpolitcs.com have just learned that the Cain and Bachmann families decided to combine their thanksgiving celebrations. Herman is going to waterboard the turkey before they kill it to demonstrate how humane a practice it really is.

Michelle has volunteered to let Herman wate… Read full post »

I was reading on ratsareheretostay.com about that Erin Brockovich lady and her new cookbook “Thanksgiving Recipes For The Poor” which she dedicates to all those who have never gotten to sue anyone for anything.

Apparently Ms. Roberts, I mean Brockovich is an “advocate&rdquo… Read full post »

I was reading at sportsinternetscum that Tim Tebow watches Live With Regis Fucking Philbin every morning while chomping down on a couple of McRat Sandwiches. He claims it brings him a “virulent strength and helps me forget how crappy I can be out on the field”.

Right. He… Read full post »

God damn I drank too much of the leftover pumpkin ale the hipsters left laying around after their party last night. I was so drunk I couldn't sleep, and I couldn't stand it in my apartment, so I went out for a walk. I got as far as the… Read full post »

It's Halloween again, and I have no money for candy. All those little buggers are going to be knocking on my door and I'll have nothing for them. Last year I got egged, spray painted, and called a fucking lazy bastard. The truth hurts.

If the hipsters next… Read full post »

God damned, that Tebow dude had everyone fooled. First he was throwing up rats all over the place, like a race car driver in Talledega. WTF! “Silly things kept happening” he actually said. Is this football or what? Football and silly don't fucking go together you moron!

Or do… Read full post »

The hipsters next door had a pumpkin carving contest yesterday. It went on for fucking hours with drunk assholes carving stupid faces onto pumpkins. There weren't any kids, just a bunch of 20 somethings jumping around, having fucking pumpkin ale and singing kumbafuckingya all afternoon.

When… Read full post »

Last night I went into the bathroom and there was a big fucking rat in my toilet. The poor fucker had drowned, and was laying face up, staring right at me. I stood there thinking, what the fuck is this fucking rat doing dead in my toilet. Then I… Read full post »

Overheard in a gas station earlier:

That's the fucking ho my boyfriend cheated on me with when he got out of prison.

 Fuck yeah! Read full post »

FUCK!

 ~~~~~~~~~~~

Hey losers- How about posting your favorite swear word below? Come on, you know it's just waiting to get let out...Come on, share... Read full post »

The bug is small and helpless. An inconsequential black speck, harmless and alone. It flies into my bathroom sink while I brush my teeth. I decide, quite randomly, to play God. I throw water upon it. It struggles needlessly to not drown. I watch. I spit toothpaste upon it.

The… Read full post »