musings, memoir, life in the mountains

Just Thinking...

Just Thinking...
Location
Oregon,
Birthday
October 04
Bio
~ welcome! ~ I'm Anna Herrington aka Anna F. aka Mom aka Nana aka 'JT...' ~photographs my own unless noted ~ I am working on three manuscripts, researching, gardening, hiking, cooking, pondering batiking again sometime, taking photographs and drinking tea, most days ~ now writing daily! A huge step forward for this writer...a huge thanks to NaNoWriMo for getting me going. every single day. justthinkingos@yahoo.com~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ To see all posts, click on 'Just Thinking...' above, and scroll. Writing here at Open Salon since June 2010.

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MAY 6, 2011 4:41PM

Everything's the Same

Rate: 30 Flag

This year, there won't be a last-minute rush to get a Mother's Day card out for you, just like there hasn't been a rush for the last eight years. You did keep the cards your grandchildren sent you each year, I know, I found them. Sister's kids were much better at this card sending than my kids were, clearly a reflection on the clever Mom who got them to write.

This year, I probably won't cry either, or suddenly disappear right in front of my family's eyes, as a memory with volcanic force takes over. This is the ninth Mother's Day without you and my rising thoughts about us are much more complex these days, just like you said they would be.

This year, I have weeded out even more of your belongings, although there are some things of yours that still surround my days. I still use your bottle opener, and your tea towels, but I've worn out your whisk. The Paul Revere Ware pots have finally burned through. You did say you bought those post-WWII, didn't you? I replaced them with more copper-bottomed pots, just as you would like.

There are two oil paintings hanging in my house that also had a place of honor in yours, but the one with the swans now has a huge tear in it. You would hate that I've not had it repaired and that my eccentric elf doll with the big pointy ears now sits on the ornate gilt frame. Its lanky leg hangs down and covers that rip.

I like it that way.

The furniture that was passed down through the family to you, that now is passed down to me, is still polished with lemon oil, even if less often than it was when you stewarded these pieces... 

...and I hate to say, but Middle Son's friend broke the green velvet chair from your room.  It's sitting in the garage, waiting for me to fix, just like your pile of projects-to-do sat, the pile I took from your house and kept for six years, thinking I'd complete your task. A couple of years ago, I finally pawned it all off on....I mean, sold it all to....another wrought-iron-project fan, at a garage sale we had. You would have crowed at the price I got for that junk...

...that junk that had potential, I know.

The green velvet chair I will fix, and I will also replace the horsehair seat from it, the one with the dent of your rear-end-shape in it, for a seat of softer foam. I will eventually establish my own rear-end-shape on that chair when it has sat in my room for awhile. As you know, I did not inherit your shape, and I thank goodness for small blessings, speaking of rear-end shapes... although I would have loved to inherit your smaller shoulders and waist. 

I still prefer your pearl earrings to mine, even though they are clip-ons. They match the pearl necklace Husband gave me on the one Mother's Day you witnessed between us. I still suspect that necklace was all show for you, as there has not been the slightest sign of jewels on any holiday ever since.

And yes, I can hear you retorting, "Your husband is a saint, you should be grateful for that man." 

I am grateful, Mom, I am. I am grateful for all of my blessings, just like you taught me to be. 

Lastly, I wore your garnet earrings to my goddaughter's wedding last summer. I never did see you wear them, I wonder why not? They are so stunning, if not a little old-fashioned. You would have liked how I pulled myself together that day with those earrings, my burgundy velvet sheath dress, a chenille shawl for the coastal fog. I even wore the mascara you kept telling me throughout my hippie years to put on 'to feel better'...and yes, I still roll my eyes at that 'feel better' part.

We never did gather together at your table for Mother's Day, we won't be at your table I have this year either. Oldest Son has inherited your gift for gathering people for meals, the dinner will be at his house. I've already been instructed not to be late, as I have inherited your penchant for the last-minute rush. 

All in all, everything's the same this year as last, and on down the line--even the same as when you were here and we got together for Mother's Day by phone.

 

Yes, pretty much, everything's the same. 

 

.....and no, nothing is the same.

 

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Comments

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I will be hoping that Mother's day goes by real fast.
Its one and the same for me.
HUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG
I get this.
I have a bumpy on the copper bottom Paul Revere Ware small frying pan too. Always make the eggs in it.
That has stayed the same.
Excellently done. Truly.
What a beautiful letter to a fabulous mom. I love that she told you to wear mascara so you would "feel better"! I could feel how much you miss her...
Happy Mother's Day to you!
r
It is just another day for me since mine died a long time ago JT.
But this is a wonderful post and I TY for it.
Good memories die hard. Your love shows in all the details you've retained and in your tender rendering of them for us.
So personal, so moving....Hang in there.
Linda: It's now a day in the Mom role only for me, I know it's been a long time for you. Father's Day is like that for me...it's still an odd feeling to be the elder I will say : )
also: I have grown fondest of the simple daily tools I still use...thanks for coming by...
Thanks Brassawe, I really appreciate that. One of the quick-welling-of-words posts...have a good weekend!
Susie: I laugh at that too, she was completely convinced in mascara's healing powers. Happy Mother's Day to you as well : )
I'm glad you came by, Mission, thank you very much for your kind words...
Matt: This all just arrived this afternoon, as they all do : ) I've been noticing how she keeps popping up in writing lately when I don't seem to be thinking of her much...if that makes any sense.
Have a good weekend!
My mom's 80 and I am going to give her a couple of hugs Sunday. She's getting forgetful, and tells you the same thing again and again, but I just nod my head like it's the first time I've heard it. Happy Mother's Day to you, too!
I love your writing. The details you choose, the sentiment and wryness. And full circle, the last two lines.
nicely done and said and felt.
This was a wonderful piece and I am so glad you shared it. It reminds me of so much. Thank you.
Don't change a thing.



Touching.
Very vivid. Very touching. Very real. Thanks for sharing it.
Wonderful and touching. I have many of my mom's things as well, and I totally identify with this.
Mother's Day slipped under my radar.
Doesn't bother me consciously.
Mom shows up in my dreams, though, around
her birthday and , M's Day...

7th one w/o her. Forgave the flesh and blood
mother for her inadequacies & insanities
but ...she inhabits my head & always shall,
for i introjected her
as my "conscience"//.
it serves me well---i am a polite gentleman---
but it grinds me up
at times too...

Oldest Sister got the stuff.
I feel at home at Older Sister's house.
Middle Sister got some stuff in her garage.
Been there 7 yrs.

Me, i got some furniture too, but had to throw it
out. I got her writing desk, though.
Lovely. Haunting. Evocative. Happy Mothers Day, JT.
All the typical daughter-mother feelings are so palpable in this post, JT. This is simply beautiful. Happy Mother's Day, my buddy.

Lezlie
garnets and pearls, silk and velvet.
thanks for sharing your memories, Just Thinking ...
I like how you talk to your mom. Im glad things are just the same even if they aren't. I get it. You are very lucky.
We aren't so big on Mother's Day here, but it's always good to see her. I'm counting myself lucky :-)
A gorgeous piece, JT
Beautiful, it touches me to hear you have her things and made them truly yours. Love and comfort to you.
Thanks, Jon : )
Alysa, this is all ancient history, I don't seem to write about current things yet...it is interesting how posts are popping up about my Mom when so much time has gone by and I tend not to think of her much day to day...thanks for coming by!
Scanner: Your Mom will be loving that hug.... : )
dirndl: Thanks! I was walking on air from your comment for awhile there : ) I'm honored....
Mimetalker: thanks!

Happy Mother's Day everyone...off for a walk somewhere...
So many thoughts flow, even today, as I read your words. So many thoughts.
Relationships like these are fragile. They fill our lives with meaning good and bad, and all too often, they define us and who we think we are.
My parents...my mom....defines me in small ways,...and the one thing I will most cherish that was hers is a gift I gave her as a child...the plaster handprint done in grade school.

Very nice write, with a lot of both visual and emotional content.
Good you can write this. I don't think I can and my mother has been dead for six years. Good for you. R
Sheila: These are universal things with Moms, aren't they Sheila?
mrvoulezvous: Thanks! Nice to have you here : )
Thanks fernsy!
sweetfeet: There's something about the day to day stuff, isn't there?
Nice to see you : )
Your writing brought me into your life and feelings, but I'm not sure if I sensed the right feeling here. Perhaps I don't know you well enough since I'm not on Open Salon very often....but I didn't perceive sentimental feelings here. Instead, I read bitterness between the lines. Please tell me if I'm correct or not.... I apologize if I'm way off.