julie Kiernan

julie Kiernan
Location
Narragansett, USA
Birthday
May 13
Title
yet to be determined
Company
confined to the lonesome
Bio
Fooled around and fell in love 2 girls in their 20s, and an autistic son who is 23 y.o. We have too many pets to count and believe that a sense of humor helps to win the battles that this life presents. I hope to spiel my crazy self onto these pages before the poison peaks. Oh yeah, my husband never stops talking.. "All the lonely people, where do they all come from? All the lonely people, where do they all belong?" The Beatles

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SEPTEMBER 11, 2010 7:42PM

A Leaden Legacy

Rate: 21 Flag
 
 I'm writing here now, because it is the thing that I doIt has been since I could hold a crayon in my fat fist, and find that lines and circles could evoke from others, smiles and laughter and more. 
 
  It's hard to imagine that you will smile or laugh if you take the time or the effort to absorb the story that lays buried within: and so it goes.
 
   I'll not bore you with the initial catastrophes. Unless you've been on Mars for the last five years, you've been an unfortunate witness to the mayhem that's ensued. With the planet in it's death throes, humankind has succumbed to the need for violence in an effort to find food and drinkable water, and I've seen things of which I'd not believe others capable. I am forgetting that others are me, I've done things, as I'm imagining you have in these desperate times, that I'll not put to paper; this pencil's lead is choice commodity in these forests that sprout no Staples stores, but to relive my maliciousness in my dreams is more than enough of the blood and gore that deserves no space in this journal.
 
  Ted and the girls were first to go. Ted, in a noble effort of fatherly love and protection, called out the demons that maimed and killed with no regard for life or limb. His girls were in jeopardy and he could not sit quietly by and witness the desecration of what he considered holy. They turned on him in the way pack animals would take their prey, and like that, he was destined to be but a memory, an inscription of lead on this paper  headstone. I find it too painful to justify the untimely deaths of the girls with anything more than the true statement that they are not here now, gone to better places.
 
  That left Teddy, my 25 year old autistic son, and me, his gutless, grieving  mother, who hasn't the strength to lift my head from my hands, or my heart from the hell where it has come to live.
 
  We had continued to travel until we arrived here three days ago. This abandoned bath house serves well enough for shelter right now, but when the weather turns, I'm not so  sure. If you haven't found it yet there is a canoe hidden down by the lake that might save you travelling time. 
 
   I am writing this now because this is what I do. It is what I have always done, long before the world went crazy. The lead in this pencil brought me gold in days when gold made a difference to my life. Now gold makes no difference, we can't eat or drink it, and it has no trading value, so I leave it in the hope that you'll find it useful.
 
   I'll leave you with one last bit of our history. Although Teddy has celebrated 25 birthdays, he is less than `5 years old  mentally. He has been traumatized beyond repair, and should I become disabled or unable to care for him, or even comfort him, he will be no more than a man-child who sits and rocks and waits to starve. Here is where lead becomes more valuable than gold ever was. The lead in this pencil leaves the reason for all that has brought us here. For the sake of all that I hold holy, you must believe that these last minutes were the longest, most difficult I have ever known, and also the reason why lead has become invaluable. I have only 2 bullets, and I will use them both.

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Comments

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Wonderful, haunting story that leaves you with a sore spot in the pit of your mind. Rated with love.
Speechless hon . . . all I can give is love and prayers for you. xooxo

-pawed in love-
This is a gut punch of a piece from the title to the last sentence. Take care of yourself.~r
wow...and lady miko snagged my comments=xo to you !
I missed something recently. This sound beyond horrible. What's going on?
You heart is heavy, and your mind seems tortured.
What is up?
Deep, dark, haunting. Excellent! Hope this wasn't brought on by a personal tribulation.
Please will you clarify? This is worrisome.

Rated with a worry
junk, I can't tell if this is meant literally or not. Are you saying that your two daughters and your husband are actually dead? I was pleased to see your name in my message box and realized it's been a while. Please clarify the details here and let us know you are flexing your writer's imagination and nothing more. And if any of this is true, please PM one of us asap. xoxoxo
I am as perplexed as Lainey. I see congratulations from people who read this as obvious fiction, but it's far too blurry for me to interpret that way.
Add my comments to everyone else's. I hope all is well, and this is fiction. If not, PM me. R-
RP-Thank you for this kind feedback and caring comment.

LM-Your kindness is touching. Thank you.

Brian-Sorry this hurt you, but thank you for the visit and the comment. I'm always appreciative.

TME-you wish...?

Joan-Thanks for your feedback and your thoughtful comment.

Muse-Thank you for caring and your loving comments.

grif- You've not missed anything, but I always appreciate your caring input.

J.D.-Nothing is up anymore than any other time. Thanks for coming by and commenting, I appreciate your concern.

Michael-You got what I was working towards. Thank you for your visit and kind comments.

Bonnie-I'm sorry for the confusion, but thanks for your caring feedback.

PW-I apologize for any worry. It's a dark piece,but not meant to cause concern.

Lainey-I never thought this would be taken literally. I'm sorry for the concern I've caused.

Kent-It seems I owe you an apology as well. So sorry for any cause for concern.

Dave-Most of this is fiction. There are some facts about my son. I'm sorry for the confusion.

Jonathan-Thank you so much for your kindness.

I feel the need to offer up an apology to all, for the confusion and unnecessary worry I seem to have caused many. I stupidly assumed, especially because it was a repost, that it wouldn't be taken as reality, but I do admit there are bits of truth sprinkled within. Especially the information about my son. He is autistic and functions at some levels no higher than a toddler. I have my thoughts of panic to think of him left on his own in a crazy world.

Things are seldom wonderful in my world,and OS is one of the only places where I can share fears or hardships, so believe me guys, you'd be the first to know something as potent as my loved ones passing on. Thanks to all for caring like you do.
mother writes.

father releases demons from his daughters,
who have departed
but will be back.

mother tires. yet she writes.it is all she can do.

mother wears down to the very threads of her being
with anxiety and guilt
yet still she lifts that hand
to


write...


and thus she is known. to me.
Oh Sir James, how happy I am to have heard from you. I hope it's a positive connection on your end for I fear I cannot bring myself to hope for anything. Thanks for the visit and your understanding.
It is a heavy burden and an uncertain legacy. I'm glad you have your writing to carry you through.
You do a lot in a small space. I love the leaden theme of this that works on many levels. May you have a better tomorrow.
Hi, sweetie. Glad to see you're keepin'.
This is dark and haunting. Yes, your heart is heavy and I send love and prayers.
Prayers and thoughts are with you..these are all friends that care, here. But power and help come from above, even when we doubt that He will bother with us..only telling you this, not to preach, but to let you know, as I found out for myself, there is a power you can draw strength from, when hope is so far from us...thinking of you and hoping.
Glad to know it was just fiction.
PW-Hallelujah!!
Bellwether-My writing is a saving grace for me. There have been times when I was hesitant to rely on it, or too ignorant to rely on it. Thank you for your kind comments.

Delia-I have missed you as of late. How are you doing? I have days that could be so much better! But then I have days that could be, oh, so much worse;)
Connie-Yeah,I'm tryin' to keep on keepin' on. Thanks for coming by!

Fay- Thanks for the kindness you send. Better days are ahead.

cindy-I'm ever appreciative of your encouragement in a Higher Power and the goodness that will sustain me, should I open my heart. Thank you, and I didn't feel as though you were preaching for one moment.

Kent-Thanks for your concern.
((Julie)) I normally don't go for apocalyptic fiction, but this was wonderfully done!
Hope your heart is lighter today and you guys have some sunshine where you are.
Grim and timely.

Reminds me that G. Gordon Liddy once told a friend of mine) who worked for his publisher) how to kill someone with a sharp lead pencil ...