I don’t normally respond to others’ posts on here with another post, but I just read something that literally made my stomach churn.  Hontonoshijin posted Cowboy Rules, which was his response to an email he received from someone.  The email itself was actually pretty harmless.  I absolutely take offense that it was somehow supposed to portray a cowboy as opposed to, lets say, a good ol’ boy, which would have been spot on.  But, basically it was just lame. 

He offered his response to each item and it blew my mind.  How can someone spew the most uninspiring, stereotypical, judgmental rhetoric under the guise of being offended? So, here’s my response to you Jack.   

Email:  We open doors for women. That's applied to all women, regardless of age.   

How outrageous! 

Jack:  Yeah, they open doors for women.  And some of em beat women black and blue and utter slurs about niggers (and used to lynch blacks) and greasers, and their cops try to choke paramedics they think insulted them.  Why all the belligerence?   

What do I care if they wave at me if they threaten to beat me up when they meet me in person because I aint like them and don't share political opinions?  What kind of courtesy is that?  It's show courtesy, that's what it is, not the real thing.  For that matter, if a cowboy tries to beat me up he might have an awakening coming (he said, in a K. Troutlyish fashion).  I've seen a lot of self-styled cowboys, and even at 65 I can hold my own with most of em.  I can swim over a mile and a half in an hour, for example.  If there's anyone out there who thinks being in favor of peace and reason makes me weak, let him bring it on. 

Wow!  Who's stereotyping now?  All that from opening a door?  If people are randomly threatening to beat you up, I'm pretty sure it's not relegated to "cowboys" - perhaps your way with words has something to do with it?

Email:  They are cattle. That's why they smell like cattle. They smell like money to us. Get over it. Don't like it? I-10,  I-40, I-70 and I-80 go east and west, I-17, I-15, I-25 and I-35 goes north and south. Pick one and go. 

Jack:  Ever smelled Amarillo?  If that's what money smells like to you, you're welcome to your life.  There's other ways to make money that don't stink. 

So, what?  Should people not raise livestock to suit you?  You go back and forth from having lived on a farm - which doesn't make you a cowboy, by the way, it makes you a farmer - to turning up your nose at those of us who choose this as our livelihood.  Thanks for pointing out that there are other ways to make money.  Us dumb ol' ranchers didn't know.

Jack:  It's true I don't clump around in high heels all day and think it makes me manly.  Though I do have a damn good pair of Luccheses.  Actually, she paints a highly idealized portrait of "cowboys."  There aint many like the ones she describes.  In Oklahoma and now in Arizona I don't see many Marlboro men, but I do see a lot of blankfaced mean old geezers hobbling around in hats and boots and driving giant pickups (quite a few of which cost more than a good car) because everybody else does. 

Are your Luccheses ostrich too?  Your ignorance is blinding.  Don't pretend to understand something you clearly do not.  The heel on a man's boot is there for the fucking stirrups!  Not to mention, the spurs.

How the hell do you presume to know what those “mean old geezer’s” lives are?  Since you know the thought process that everyone goes through in purchasing consumer products – perhaps you should start your own consulting firm – you’ll make millions.  Hell, you could have single handedly saved GM! 

Email:  College and High School Football is as important here as the Giants, the Yankees, the Mets, the Lakers and the Knicks, and a dang site more fun to watch. 

In the South, entire towns shut down on Friday nights to watch the high school football games.  I grew up in one of these towns and that kind of community support is not something I would toss away these days.  An entire population all rooting for one thing.  Looking back, it's actually pretty amazing. 

Kids who aren't paid to play are more fun to watch any day of the week.  In any sport.  They want it.  They hunger for it.  I can’t say the same about the pros. 

Jack:  I played football in junior high and high school, ran track and cross country in high school and college.  Lettered in track and football and cross country in both high school and college.  And sorry, no, but high school football is NOT more fun than the pros.  The coaches were, with a few exceptions, stupid and cruel.  It's a lie that it was about developing character.  Unless by character you mean violence and blind obedience. 

I’ll refer to Mrs. Michaels’ response to this.  But, I’ll add that unless Bobby Knight was your coach, my guess is your bitterness comes from being benched. 

And Jack’s closing words:   This is exactly the kind of shit that convinces people everyone in Oklahoma is sociopathic.  You and I know for a fact that is not true, so she is doing a disservice to the very people she thinks she is boosting.  Sorry to be so vehement but I have heard this kind of crap all my life and I do not intend ever to tolerate it quietly again. 

The irony is not lost on me.

I'll just leave this with a true "Code of the West": 

 Live each day with courage.

Take pride in your work.

Always finish what you start.

Do what has to be done.

Be tough, but fair.

When you make a promise, keep it.

Ride for the brand.

Talk less and say more.

Remember, some things aren’t for sale.

Know where to draw the line. 

Simple statements for a simple life.  And each and every one of these could be describing my husband.  It’s unspoken.  I don’t think it’s so much about being a cowboy (except for the brand bit) as it is about the character of a man.  And you, Jack, have shown yours.