Johnny Noir

Johnny Noir
Montclair, New Jersey, USA
September 23
pulp writer, poet, Nihilist prophet, Neo-Platonist
Johnny Noir
You can buy my novels and poetry at


MARCH 12, 2013 3:41PM

There Are No Jews In Heaven

TS Eliot has assured me that there are no Jews in heaven,
Richard Wagner assured me there would be no Jews there either—
I’ve never met a Jewish woman I would describe as heavenly,
Though I have loved many and still do, but they will not be
Waiting in heaven when the Christians arrive,
Will th/… Read full post »
MARCH 11, 2013 6:20PM

Oedipius, Christ & Me


Laius, in Greek Mythology a king of Thebes, the father of Oedipus and husband of Jocasta.

Jocasta, in Greek Mythology a Theban woman, the wife of Laius and mother and later wife of Oedipus.

In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.

MyRead full post »

JANUARY 31, 2013 11:42AM

Cowboy Blonde

In a shit-covered stall in a bathroom in the bowels of New York,
A queer smiled through the blood and broken teeth thankful for the fix—

She sucked some Arab reading, cursing the New York Times,
On her knees in fishnets in November, cold as hell inside and out,
OCTOBER 20, 2012 9:43PM

My Blind Stepmother

THe other night my blind stepmother was making such a disturbing racket
masturbating that I walked in and slapped the dildo right out of her hand—
And when I caught my stepmother fucking some strange fisherman
I knocked her glasses off and since I didn’t know else what to do so
I came in her/
Read full post »

OCTOBER 16, 2012 12:29PM

Abstract Fucking Expressionism


In Pyongyang we kick dead whores when they’re facedown in the gutter after the rain and the parade when the girls wring out their burlap panties when TS Eliot dated twins
Walking them home along lonely London streets
Where Gotlieb got his start as a painter
And Neuroscience was born
Read full post »

JULY 31, 2012 2:58AM

Oedipal Pinup


When all is destroyed, what remains will be perfect—
White women taste like chicken,
Pot bellied and drunk on cheap wine and gin,
Barefoot, pregnant, hit by a speeding police car,
In a perpetual state of half-sleep,
Joyce and Eliot Pre-code and pornographic
Inventing the dark joy of uni… Read full post »

JULY 20, 2012 11:32PM

Ugly Girls Never Confess

Ugly girls don’t question their own evil, 
Their hips killing Satan, 
Mabel and Emily in a cocoon of nature—
Trapped in a see-through red dress 
She looks thinner with the aura of a man surrounding her,
The child of time and crucified thieves,
Besides the one true lord, mus… Read full post »

Everyone knows full well that Jewish women are not beautiful in any way, yet with that in mind, I ask, who is the most beautiful Jewish woman in the world—
The answer comes back resoundingly: there is not one, so we know the book of Esther is a lie, a fairy tale… Read full post »

The ideal form is the abstract form, since no part of it can be admitted to as a mistake. In this regard woman is the exact opposite of the ideal since she can in every part be admitted to as a mistake but in the case of woman, what… Read full post »
APRIL 10, 2012 10:29PM

I Dreamt Her Body Was The Crimean War

I dreamt her body was the Crimean War and her naked feet were poetry
Her abstract face spit roses into the abyss, 
A harmonious Jewish milf in tight beige jeans and sunglasses 
Wobbling down the street in matching espadrilles, 
Walking like she’d been fucked too ha… Read full post »
APRIL 2, 2012 10:40PM


In theology, the term apotheosis refers to the idea that an individual has been raised to godlike stature. In art, the term refers to the treatment of any subject (a figure, group, locale, motif, convention or melody) in a particularly grand or exalted manner.

Possibly the greatest joy in any… Read full post »
MARCH 19, 2012 9:47AM


Madonna emerges from the fiery flames of Cynthia’s thick, white ass—
Like a salamander slithering into existence from the ether, 
Robert and Elizabeth visiting Emily’s grave 
As she emerges draped in Francesca’s white shroud,
The dust from their fingers taken by the… Read full post »
FEBRUARY 28, 2012 9:51PM

The Amish Prostitute

tumblr_lwo7ptlufv1qif4c6o1_5001Free form open verse structure: beauty plus chaos equals infinity, past and future, I don’t hate you because you’re ugly; I hate you because you’re human and so am I unfortunately, wouldn’t we all like to be subatomic particles such as those they can never find andRead full post »

FEBRUARY 21, 2012 1:49AM

My Satanic Muses

  1. I dream of your skull while your love unfolds,
    Put your shit in a box and mail it to my address—
    I’m dreaming you are an Asian girl with 38DDs,
    She doesn’t need a soul to come with me to the bottom of the earth—
    Your face reminding me of raunchy cartoons I drew/
  2. Read full post »
OCTOBER 25, 2011 1:23PM

The Sounds Of The Streets

 I felt like I was in a box, and the box felt like solid steel. I tore open another bag, cooked it up methodically and shot it into the collapsing vein. I waited for the inevitable feeling, the sunlight behind my eyes. My body walked slowly out of its living grave,Read full post »

OCTOBER 19, 2011 8:22PM

Epistle To Megan

Megan, a prophet walks the hot red sand searching for wild peyote,

The world turning inside out and upside down he doesn’t pretend to know what it’s all about as he waits for the Wall Street demonstrators to do battle with the Tea Party with pitchforks and pepper spray,… Read full post »

AUGUST 27, 2011 11:51PM

Everything Sweet & Good


Some day we will all travel back in time and seduce our mothers who were odd even Before the Sons of God fell from the golden sky

Looking for something sweet and now we know

Thanks to CGI and CAD, MRI, Forensic history, forensic evolution,

Prenatal… Read full post »

JULY 13, 2011 9:35AM

Doctor Drake, Meet Rupert Murdoch


 Murdoch greeted Drake, Sophie and Coulter outside his office and shook the doc’s hand vigorously, inviting them inside. Murdoch was a spry old coot in a turtleneck and thick glasses. He looked over Sophie and licked his lips, offering her a seat. Drake/Read full post »

Special Agents Reed and Callas had left the city and were on the New Jersey Turnpike when Callas flipped on the radio. It was an all talk station and there was a show in progress. The photographer ‘Flash’ Hobson was being interviewed by the female host, whom seemed engrossed and inquisitiRead full post »

JUNE 12, 2011 5:52PM


When the sun came out Kristina was set afire

In her white spider filled dreams of religion,

She set off on a quest and never returned—

Too humbled, white spiders crawling up her arms,

Biting her legs until they bleed fire,

Her crystal… Read full post »

Editor’s Pick
MAY 23, 2011 1:24AM

Pulp Fiction In The Age Of Facebook


 Pulp fiction has given us some of the best writing of the 20th century: Hammett, Chandler, Spillane, and Lovecraft. Even Tennessee Williams and Faulkner admired the form. Bradbury, Hubbard, Asimov, Dick, etc. are all honored alum of classic newsstand pulp fiction. This is not writRead full post »

MAY 8, 2011 11:29PM


She was already hot and cool. She had shades on and I was looking her over to see what I could find. I was looking really hard.

 "See something you like?" she said.

 I said, "Sure," and walked over to her. I've got balls like any other/Read full post »

MAY 6, 2011 3:44PM

Sleeping On Pins

My name is John Okinawa. I’m a cop. My father was a Jap, so I guess that makes me a son of a bitch. I smoke too much, drink too much and cheat on my wife. My mistress is a junky, I have no friends and my daughter is a whore.Read full post »

APRIL 25, 2011 1:01PM


Moondogs and white trash monsters,
A wife is a wife is a wife—
I want to smell the funk rising from your crusty asshole
And slap your ugly, familiar face, ugly daughter of mine—
Your twenty legs marching apace so I can’t keep up,
Gag in your mouth soRead full post »
APRIL 17, 2011 6:45AM

All Knowledge Comes With Time

All knowledge comes with time,

For one cannot know in an instant

What has taken great minds years to accrue—

Like a fat girl in fishnets with a cigarette

And a miniskirt blowing in the breeze,

Love doesn’t mean anything—

There’s enough love and ugly people

To go… Read full post »