Everyone knows full well that Jewish women are not beautiful in any way, yet with that in mind, I ask, who is the most beautiful Jewish woman in the world—
The answer comes back resoundingly: there is not one, so we know the book of Esther is a lie, a fairy tale and a hoax to build Jewish morale and make others believe in something that never was and has never been seen: a beautiful Jewish woman—
I’m tired of lying to myself, telling myself that such a thing exists when there is no evidence but hearsay and the very opposite is more than abundantly apparent—
Everything I just wrote is a lie because in fact, one of the most beautiful women I personally know comes from Israel—
But wait; does that mean that the book of Esther is true? No, it does not—
It’s still a hoax and a fairy tale just like I described, meant to build Jewish morale but not the morale of any Jew you or I know or even the Israelis but the ancient Israelites,
The Maccabees and Pharisees, and the weirdoes that wrote the Bible’s Old and New Testaments—
I go to church almost every Sunday, does that make me a Christian? It kind of does, but I wasn’t raised as a Christian, I come by it honestly, by way of TS Eliot and Bob Dylan—
I just found some things in it that were true, like the book of Esther, which I’ve always looked upon as a description of an ancient beauty pageant considering that it was written or told long before the Bible was ever conceived and oddly, Esther is the only Jewish woman in the story, and of course she’s the most beautiful woman in the story—
The Bible is full of weird stories like that, but famously the Book of Esther is the only book of the Bible in which God is never mentioned—
It’s more or less a big party thrown by the king and the beauty pageant for him to select a new queen after the old queen proves herself a royal bitch and gets her head cut off because she won’t dance as the king has requested, I’m assuming Esther danced—

It could be a story right out of Walt Disney, or Disney could have made one of his fanciful musical cartoons about it except the lead characters are Jews, excepting the backstabbing villain who gets hanged at the end—
I think that put Disney off right away—
His friend Hitler wouldn’t have liked it so much; I mean Cecil B. DeMille was making a fortune telling lascivious Bible stories that competed directly with the pulps and comic books and we know that Jesus can sing and dance, we’ve seen Andrew Lloyd Weber and Tim Rice make him do that and the Hebrew Bible is sung in Jewish services so the I’m supposing that means all of the dialogue is sung too, which turns the Old Testament a musical to begin with—
So my original point of there being no beautiful Jewish women is absurd because if they can sing and dance, and I’ve seen them do it, then they are right up there with Jesus and Moses and Satan—
And Pilate and Judas and God—
I’m not saying any of that stuff is true; it’s old—
It’s older than you and I can imagine, someone just collected the pieces of a long, old story and put them together in a way that sort of makes sense if you forgive the numerous holes in the basic plot—
But a beautiful woman does not have to physically beautiful—
She doesn’t even have to actually exist—
Before there was Esther there were Aphrodite and Isis and Inanna, beautiful earth goddesses, hell, goddesses of beauty, and the one guy who caught sight Aphrodite naked was struck blind for his trouble but then given the gift to prophesy as recompense,
That was Tiresius and he may have been an ill-starred advisor to Paris’ choice when deciding among the three graces, among them Aphrodite, or Venus as the case may be,
At any rate, these guys asked themselves basically the same question I’m asking myself now, who is the most beautiful Jewish woman in the world—