john walker

john walker
Location
china, tx, U.S of A.
Birthday
December 04
Title
Finder of all things lost
Company
excellent
Bio
Immigrant from Southern California (the land of fruits and nuts) to Southeast Texas (where men are men and so are some of the women). Musician, songsmith, poet, short story author (no I'm not unemployed) sometime liberal - sometime conservative, white male (does that disqualify me?) thinker of deep thoughts, surf cowboy. Mayor of a small town in Texas (really!).

MY RECENT POSTS

FEBRUARY 2, 2010 4:10PM

7 Ways to Trick Your Wife into Having Sex Every Day

Rate: 92 Flag

 

Yes, this is another list.  (I don’t care, who asked you?) 

It is just for the men though as I know nothing about women.  So women, please, just be on your way because this isn’t for you unless you’d like to leave a copy for your husband.

I’m going to share secrets with you that will change your life.  But, when I say “secrets”, you’ll say, “that crap isn’t secret at all.  My wife tells me that all the time.” 

Which brings us to number one:

  1        Listen: 

That’s right; when she speaks, she usually has something to tell you. You might learn something about the single most important person in your life. Crazy, I know.   Ask yourself right now: what’s her favorite color, her shoe size, what does she like least about her body, what household chore does she despise, paper or plastic?  You should know this stuff.  She tells you all the time.  You just aren’t listening.   

When she starts talking about tennis bracelets in November, she’s trying to help you with your Christmas shopping, Einstein. 

If you actually start listening to her, she will be so dumbfounded that she’ll say “yes” to sex just to see if you’re still listening.

 2        Don’t ask don’t tell:

Everybody likes to be surprised and pampered.  What if just once in a while, you, without your wife’s consent or assistance, arranged for a babysitter, picked her up at work and took her out to dinner? 

 Now she’s stunned.  Her defenses are down.  It’s likely you’re getting laid. 

3        If you use it, put it up. If you drop it, pick it up.  If you spill it, clean it up:

She’s not your Momma.  And, hopefully, your Momma taught you better. 

Clean up after yourself for God’s sake.

Trust me; there is little your wife finds less sexy than picking your dirty tidy whiteys up off the bathroom floor.  I can say with great confidence that this is almost universally true for all women. 

Your wife is now confused.  She’ll wander all about the house wondering what you’ve done with all the messes.  When she looks in the bedroom; now you’ve got her.

 4        Bite your tongue (or, “No, those pants do not make you look fat”): 

Nobody likes constant criticism, especially if it’s from the person they’d most like to please (that’s probably you).  If you continually browbeat your wife, she feels less sexy and thinks you’re less sexy as well. You wanna look more like George Clooney?  Quit your bitching!!

Oh, and the answer to the do these pants make me look fat question:  “of course not darlin’. But, still, they’re not my favorite.  You really look hot in that red pair.” 

5        WWAAD...what would Alan Alda do?: 

Think of all the heroes in all the movies you’ve ever seen. Yeah, the movies where the guy wins the girl.  Do you think the hero’s gonna sit on his ass watching the WWF while the girl of his dreams has to cook his dinner while sweeping the floor with a screaming baby balanced on her hip?  No, he’s not.  He’s gonna get up and gently take the broom and mini-you from his girl and tell her, “Honey, it’s probably been a long day for you, go put your feet up and let me finish dinner.  Oh, and by the way, here’s the remote.” That’s what Alan Alda would do.

You wife is now so grateful for this selfless and heroic act, that like the proverbial damsel in distress, now rescued, she has no choice but to submit to your sexual advances.

Would it really kill ya’ to do a load of laundry once in a while? 

6        Treat her like a thoroughbred; she’ll never be a nag: 

This is the same hottie that had you twisted in knots lo those many years ago.  She still needs your affirmation.  She still needs to feel attractive. She still needs to feel adored.  Her hair, her eyes, her smile, her legs, her touch, her mind, her spirit, her perfume, the list of things you can compliment her on is limitless.  She does not want to have sex with anyone that doesn’t desire her.  She has some pride, after all.  If you don’t make her feel desired, there are plenty of other guys out there who will...me for example.

If you tell her everyday how sexy she is she’ll begin to feel sexy, and you know what sexy girls like to do. 

7        The most secret weapon of all: No woman can resist this, so use it wisely.  I do not give this piece of advice lightly for it is powerful stuff. 

Every Monday or Tuesday (it’s good to change up the day once in a while just so she doesn’t get complacent) I take a small amount of time out of my lunch hour and drive over to the nearest grocery store.  They have a floral boutique there.  I buy a single long stem rose.  I take the rose to my wife’s place of employment and present it to her.  Oh, and don’t forget the little card that goes with the rose.  The card may be even more important than the flower.

The result of this action is two-fold.  One; not only is the wife thrilled that you are thinking about her but that you actually made an effort to show your affection. 

Secondly, but of no little consequence, after a few weeks of this behavior the other women at your wife’s place of employment will start to become envious of her.  That’s right now your wife’s co-workers think she’s made a better choice of life partners than they did.  Some of the women where she works might even snub her.  Your wife will secretly delight in this.  And, suddenly you are a source of pride to her.  Suddenly, she must be smart and sexy and desirable to have such an attentive and devoted man. And, every time a woman walks into her office and makes a snide comment about your wife always getting roses, she’s on her way home to rock your world. 

Don’t tell anybody I told you. 

 

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You are a very smart man! Am sending this to my husband immediately :)
I am printing this out as a checklist for every woman I know.
(me included)
And where the heck were YOU when I was in Texas? Hmm?
Probably married and mayoring. Oh well. *sigh*
John, this is why I will always, always love you...
Dead on every single one. Did someone in the sisterhood give you all our secrets? This should be required reading for every man upon reaching the age when their voice changes, with a renewal every few years like a license.

I am happily married and mainly due to these specific things going the right way in my home.

Are you sure you are not a woman? or Alan Alda himself? hmmmmmm....
I hate alan Alda...always have. Otherwise, complied with the spirit if not the letter of the list.divorce still pending 3 years post separation.
Hey, ladies: I thought you weren't suppose to read this.

I love you too, Word.
You don't want us to read this why? Afraid we'll jump your bones? True, there's a serious risk...
Wisdom here--and wit. Ah, the Wit and Wisdom of John Walker. We owe you! I'd repay you, but I have some laundry to do.
Y'all are too funny. Why are no men reading this?
Of course the women love this list!!! I'm waiting for the list from a man who tells us what he wants from his wife if she wants to have sex with him. I suspect it will be a very very short list. Hey, I love this list and am gonna give to every client of mine AND my husband (who doesn't need a whole lot of prompting). You now have an adoring group of fans but don't think I don't see through you. Your wife sees this and you are good to go!
Mary: I can't speak for all men because I know even less about them than I do about women. But, all I want from a woman is to be her hero. Corny, I know. Still true, though.
You just zeroed in on why there's a problem requiring a list, when you asked, "Why are no men reading this?" Women are hoping their husbands read it and men are praying that their wives don't!
Excellent! Like John, if you don't do these things, I am only too willing. Then you'll have to contend with the fact that she left you for a girl. xox
I'm so glad to see you here again. I'm not a wife, and I don't have a baby on the hip. I'm very attracted to a man who listens, a man who remembers the small details, or who one who wants to teach me some lesson from the boy's club--my last such lesson was driving a souped mustang on a track. Missed you John Walker.
OK, I'll be more serious here. I wish women understood how much the men in their lives want to be their heroes. Nothing melts my husband more than when I tell him this (which I don't do often enough so thanks for the reminder). I have no doubt you are a hero to your wife, and now a lot of women on this site :)
Men are not reading this because they are too busy scratching their privates, belching, watching TV and waiting for dinner. These are the same creatures who believe they are the George Clooney's of their homes and are always wondering why they never get any.

You, on the other hand, could at this moment probably get nookie from a fair number of the OS female population.
That is one theory, and probably right,although some girls would be mean to you for doing that too.
You're a prize, John. I just read this to my husband. I figure it has greater cred coming from a fellow guy. :)
easier said than done sometimes... and to the women...we're not dumb....most of us know this pretty well already... if you're not being treated this way A. you need to find a new man or B. one of you needs to figure out men, and write a list like the one above for the ladies who don't get it... Lord knows I've known a couple who could have used it... great list Mr. Walker...
There was a (woman) writer blogging yesterday about withholding privileges due to feeling #1, #2, #3 and #5. Your list is funnier. (and oh, so true) Rated.
Like all good humor, this is based on truth. I especially loved this: "Your wife is now confused. She’ll wander all about the house wondering what you’ve done with all the messes. When she looks in the bedroom; now you’ve got her."

But I have to differ with you on the last item. Most women do not like to be snubbed by other women. They want to fit in and be liked and accepted. The exceptions are the women who dislike other women and who just want to be admired by men. And if you have a wife like that, you may be in trouble, as one man's admiration is often not enough.

Other than that, you're golden on this one.
Yes!! Now, if only you wrote this yesterday morning I wouldn't have had to post mine at all. (I'm that woman blogger who, for some reason, people misunderstood as withholding sex when what I said was that I was too TIRED for sex because of the things my husband wasn't doing.) I didn't show my husband my blog but I'm definitely showing him yours (it's nicer and more to the point!) Thanks!
Oh, you soooo lied when you said you know nothing about women

The sad truth is most of us will have sex even when we get none of these things on your list, or otherwise we'd never get any. And just for the record, some of us have MUCH higher sex drives than he does.
John, you have a kind and compassionate attitude. Much like my husband. My husband knows not to get me dead flowers. Live plants are way sexier.
Number six is my favorite. The most common sense of all and most likely the least practised. Hmmm.. I imagine you're having one hot ole time in Texas?
I love this. Would you have an affair with me?
just look at all these women, john. you are shameless. throwing themselves at you!! and with such good reason. ;~)
Wisely put -- no wonder you're the mayor!

I don't have a husband to send this to, but I'll bookmark it for future reference. ;)
Sex? What's sex? German for six?
R
I am e-mailing this to my husband right now. He is on the right track, and with reinforcement from guys like you, he can fine tune a bit and be fighting me off (not really - he would never turn down a chance to have some fun)!
Thank y0u Sensei--you are the Mr. Miyagi of romancing one's spouse.
Ahem, Mr. Mayor - this is hot stuff for a surf cowboy. How'd you get so smart?
You missed one.

I woke my wife up and handed her 2 asprin. She said what's that for. I said your headache. She said "I don't have a headache." I said great, roll over here and kiss me.
Thanks to all of y'all for the comments and the ratings. I wasn't on line last night to enjoy them as they came on but I'm laughing this morning.
You're playing with fire, now, Lucifer.
John: I'm glad you got at least a few men to read these tips. They really are perfect.
Robin: You've already seduced many of the women on OS, at least virtually...
What are you doing at about 11:00 am?
Thanks, Eva. I think the men are reading just not commenting leaving themselves a case for plausible denial.

Yeah, Robin...Lighten up!
Trying to remember your phone number, O'Really.
"Why are no men reading this?" Hey, I'm reading this! And by the way, Alan Alda is key. Behave like Alan -- and you're home free!
Honey those are all very nice sentiments, however if you have to "Trick" your spouse into having sex than maybe you shouldn't be together. If you chose to do these nice tasks from the heart without having an ulterior motive that is one thing, if you are not sincere than you are deceiving them. Just a little insight on the flowers at the office, in every office that I have worked in when someone receive's flowers or gifts on a regular basis, women tend to think that the spouse is cheating. Women are very tired at the end of the day, why don't you simply try a nice martini, just one and maybe some soft porn might help. You then can relax and stop knocking yourself out with these frivolous tasks. Peace.
Awww you needn't do all this, just show up in that hat.... although flowers are always special.... r
Steve: Alan IS the man......well sorta.

Lay Down: A martini and soft porn? hmmmmm?

Rita: Ahh you're so sweet!
You're......you're....in Texas? Right here?

I worship the ground you walk on.

BR
You are brilliant!
Brilliant! I'll send this to my ex-husband - maybe his new victim (god bless her) will profit from it. Oh - and you forgot the L word. No matter how much you show it, and even though they already know, chicks love to hear it!
To #3 I'd add this... if your momma DIDN'T teach you better, get the hell over it and LEARN!

To every man who tells me he can't cook I say "Get the hell over it and learn. Children can do it and so can you."

To every man who tells me he can't do laundry I say "Get the hell over it and learn. Children can do it and so can you."

And to every man who tells me he can't be romantic, can't say "I love you," can't listen to his mate talk, can't make her feel like a goddess, can't be sensitive to her needs, I say... yeah, you guessed it.
To which I'll add, yeah, and I'm right here in Texas too. :)
I'm printing this out for my husband! He does a few of these things already. I'd like for him to make sure he gets the whole package, though. Thanks for the insight. Your wife must be proud and pleased.
Thanks all of y'all for the comments. And yes, Blue Roses; right here in Texas. No place but Texas, Baby!
Babe? Is that YOU? Are you secretly blogging on Open Salon now? Cause you've been doing all this and more! I'm glad you didn't give up your best tip, though.

If you are not my soon-to-be-husband, then it's nice to know there are two of you out there! Kudos!
Thanks, Spencer. How nice of you to say.

Havlin: Shhhhh!
Can I add one to your list, that is make her feel beautifull draw her a hot bath after dinner. Treat her like you did when you were dateing, then the sex will be amazing later that night. Read my poem on open salon called shy innocence, it's the best :)
I just screamed with laughter over the Alan Alda part.
R
hear! hear! I couldn't agree more. No men reading though.....
Gratefull: There are very few things sexier than washing a woman's hair. Very few things indeed.
Bernadine: Yeah, Alan Alda gettin' all the girls.

Audrey: Maybe you should staple a copy of this post to your significant other's chest. That'll get his attention.
aw the difference between men and women I never said wash her hair, I said make her a bath to unwind. You are not even in the bath. Sex is a state of relaxation only for you when it's over my wise list making friend.
Okay you've got what you asked for. You ARE my hero! Lock, stock, and barrel. The men you wrote this for are going to be shame faced when they read this. You've boiled down Mars and Venus to 10 basic truths. Men get so much mileage out of a simple, easy thing -- like your unexpected rose. Really. It's worth quite a few lays -- not just one per rose. I don't know why it's so important. But that kind of gesture makes me wild, sexy, seductive. I simply want to jump his old bones. With your Ten list, women are easy. And we are damn smart too. Great great job! Are you available? r
Oops. My god, John. You did this in just Seven not Ten. Mea culpa and extra kudos!
No problem, Joan. Any time I can cause a brilliant, beautiful woman to not be able to count I must be doing something right.
A full-belly laugh was not what I expected this morning... thank you for your humor, and oh so real commentary, Alan!
John, I absolutely loved your list! I agree with Elizabeth....all men should read this! These are genuine pearls of wisdom and I've always known that you were a poet. (Still enjoying the cd, btw!) Rated!
Nova: Glad I could help you out this morning. And thanks for reading

Corgi: Always a pleasure to hear from you, my kind hearted friend.
I like your list, John. To it, I would add: Never call your wife names. Not ever. It's childish and stupid. Not only does she remember what you called her yesterday, she remembers insults from years ago. Of course, this might be a big part of why you're not getting laid much in the first place.
Yeah, Zaza, that's probably it.
This is so-o-o-o true ! And I am a woman so I would know. All of those things impress women and my husband does none of them. If he did just one, I would jump on him in a minute. Wait ! I just got an idea. I'm gonna copy your list and tape it on the bathroom mirror, so my husband can read it tomorrow morning when he gets it.
ha ! ha !
Kim
Good for you, Kim. If he doesn't know what you want you can't expect him to give it to you.
So, so true. I'd send this to my husband, but he wouldn't get it. He'd just think he does this all the time...
Great list! Every thing on it has also worked for me for 20 years of marriage- except #7. My wife isn't into me delivering things to her work on a whim. She works on a large campus and has to walk a long way in order to meet me at the security gate. The guards there are menacing looking and me standing there holding a bouquet of flowers is awkward. She was appreciative when I did it once but told me not to do it again. We did have sex that night though.
I would replace #7 with this: Everytime we have sex make sure she orgasms before I do.
My husband would rather drink than have sex with me and when we do, his performance is so pathetic because of the drinking that it's just not worth the effort. Even if I put this list right on his desk it wouldn't matter. It might've helped a few years back. Good advice, though.
I enjoyed this! Rated.
Turn in your Man card and leave your ballz on the counter. Only a Mangina would worry about "IF and "When" he's getting some. The guys that get married and then have to grovel and perform for sexual favors are the Darwins of the planet. Shoot yourself now. If you were any good in the first place your Woman would be giving it to you instead of the guy next door with a gym in his garage. It has nothing to do with what they can appreciate, it has everything to do with them being in control or at least feeling that they are in control. Listen to them? If they actually had something to say I wouldn't have to give their mouth something to do when I actually have something more important than listen too.

Grow a pair or turn in your card beeotch!
Sure doing all that stuff will get you laid. But I fear after all those tasks, I'll no longer be in the mood.
Every day? John, you are a hornier man than I.....can you write a post about what keeps your sex drive in high gear? And does she follow these same seven rules?
Twins: Make sure you're properly enthusiastic when he does and he might really do it more often.

Craig: There ya' go, Brother. Keep on keeping on.

Hillensooz: Sorry, darlin', you're way beyond my expertise.
Shiela: Thanks for reading. I really appreciate it.

Cameleon: Get in where ya' fit it!!
You're right Booger, why would you want to make any woman smile or feel good about herself? I'll bet you're beating 'em off with a stick.
Oh, and it's great that your screen name seems to match your personality so well.
Dan: But they're fun tasks. Hardly any effort at all.

Libex: Yeah, pretty much everyday. It's a curse
Okay, you had me at one. Something to add though: irony, wit, capacity to laugh at yourself. I still think laughter , well...let's just say, laughter works. Really.
Really, really. Better than roses.
I would send this to my guy, but he already picks up after himself, gives me compliments, does laundry, cooks, cleans, listens, tells me the truth (yep, those jeans are terrible, better just take them off...oh, you have no pants on now? what's so wrong with that? ;)), and makes me laugh. He leaves me little love notes in my purse and brightens my day everyday, no matter how the evening turns out.
Glad to see there's at least one more male out there who understands part of what it takes to make a woman happy. The only thing missing from your list is...
8. Be sincere. We can tell.
Gail: Yep, laughter. Laughter makes everything better.

Hopeful: He sounds like a good one.
There is one rule you should add, "Nobody leaves the building until you have an orgasm." That rule trumps all the rest...

Good list though!
R
Oh, Buffy, I just thought everybody knew that rule.
Shrewd indeed! The final tip is most profound. Don't let your wife see this or the jig's up.
Well, nothing says love like an ulterior motive for kind actions.
Lighten up!!! The title is clearly tongue in cheek, people.
I wasn't expecting such hostility from the men. Hmmmm, wonder why they're feeling so defensive?
Good stuff....haha.

-Tripp
http://CrunkSpot.com
Thanks, Trip. I appreciate you reading.
There is more to be gained here than just sex. Do these things and your wife will respect you as a fellow human, not just as a man.
Do you have a twin who is available?
Gonna print this off and leave it casually where my man will find it - with a few areas suitably highlighted :o)
Hi, can I tell you a Secret since no other women are around? Sunday night the Victoria's Secret babes cavorted across the TV and I knew. I would never be naked with a man again for the rest of my life. I have to change my clothes in the dark or under my clothes. Now I have to get long dress to shower in.

I don't think it's only the guys. I think those models are out to make sure the guys never get laid again. Why am I laughing here? I don't want to see a bunch of 50 something chickies cavorting in strings and wings either! Oh well, I'd be really happy with yours.
Thanks Compton. I think you hit on exactly the point.


Delhia: I don't have a twin but...
Lorna: I hope he finds it. If not give me a call.
L'heure: Okay, I'm not saying the VS girls aren't pretty but, personally, I prefer women over girls. I really like the way a "woman's" body looks and feels. So get rid of the covers and turn on the light; WOMEN TRULY ARE BEAUTIFIL!!!!
Great list! Sending it of too all my buddies that have been married and divorced more then once... :O
John Walker, are you sure you aren't Dr. Phil's ghost writer? rated.

L in the Southeast
You're really a CHICK - Aren't You?
Thank you for telling it like it is. It is all really about love, respect, and caring!
You're preaching gospel, man...
Mr Coffee: I am on my third (at least...it depends on who's counting) go 'round. I'm teachable, just a little slow.

"L" not even I could come up with that many colloquialisms.
Drew: Nope, not a CHICK, but some of my best friends are.


Lib and Scruffus: Thanks for reading and the kind words.

I'm glad you enjoyed it, Brokenhearted. sorry that you're brokenhearted
"Men are not reading this because they are too busy scratching their privates, belching, watching TV and waiting for dinner. These are the same creatures who believe they are the George Clooney's of their homes and are always wondering why they never get any."

Hey! I resemble that remark.

Thanks for the post John. Of course, I know all this stuff already. It just took me about 18 years of marriage to figure it out, that's all.

OK, the flowers thing I'm weak on. My wife always gets her own flowers. Need to work on that.

Thanks again.
Boy, I'm glad I didn't get on my way. With all the attitude in the intro, I was wondering what you were up to. List not what I was expecting. Great content, great writing lassoed me right to the ground. Keep on strummin'. Your favorite fruit and nut here.
My mother is going to go crazy over this list- and I mean in a good way. It's funny how you came up with this very truthful list- truthful in a sense and up to a sense- and made it fun and an easy read.
you should be a marriage counselor. ... or are you?
Good for you, jp. Keep up the good work.

Harriet: I'm glad you finished reading. I see you're in my home town. I miss it so sometimes.
Summer: say "hi" to your mom for me. Thanks for reading

Maerwynne: Nope, not a counselor.
What a lovely name by the way. I hope it's yours.
This is a good list. If you love someone, you should want to tend to their physical and emotional needs. Here are a few more common sense items you can add to the list:

1. Get in shape. It will make you more attractive and increase your stamina.
2. Find creative ways to express your love. Start with # 7 in this post.
3. Lighten her load. If she’s exhausted, she’ll crave sleep, not sex.
4. Help her to relax. Stress is the anti aphrodisiac
5. Always bathe before bed, and brush your teeth – Funk is not erotic
6. Take your time, it’s not a race
7. Don’t hit and run. After play is just as important as foreplay

When the initial flames of passion begin to subside, it’s necessary to do a bit more than fall out of bed in the morning in order to keep the fire lit. Sustain intimacy requires caring and commitment.
That's great advice, Spin Doctor. Thanks.
this is a very good way to help men not only to get laid but to be a better husband or boyfriend
I'm soooo sending this to my husband and to friends who complain about their wives not "cooperating" ;-)
shew!! geez man!! sounds like a full time job in itself!! unfortunately I already have one of those. a demanding full time job that is.
Wonderful advice...I have been married 17 years, and it is good to get reminded to be a better husband...
You are a wise man. And your wife is a lucky lady. Many good wishes.
Here's my list for tricking my husband into having sex with me:
1. Breathe (and not even heavily!)
Here's my list for tricking my husband into having sex with me:
1. Breathe (and not even heavily!)
i find that offering to split the money 50/50 gets results.
Looks like all ladies are reading, or at least commenting on this. I wonder if you get more attention from guys if you replace "wife" word with "husband" on your title.
You're so cool dude, I'm going to take note of this list =)
I'm not supposed to be reading this, but I have a secret for women and it's that men love roses. I love them too, but not the way my husband does. I get HIM roses for Valentine's Day. I make sure we have rose-scented hand cream around and rose-scented soaps because they are his favorite. His father loves the smell of roses too. Every man I know seems to love roses, even though they don't go public with this information. My husband has started taking baths instead of showering because I bought some rose-scented bath oil and epsom salts and put them in the bathroom where he'd see them. I take good care of him. It's good for his skin and he smells so good.
I'm not supposed to be reading this, but I have a secret for women and it's that men love roses. I love them too, but not the way my husband does. I get HIM roses for Valentine's Day. I make sure we have rose-scented hand cream around and rose-scented soaps because they are his favorite. His father loves the smell of roses too. Every man I know seems to love roses, even though they don't go public with this information. My husband has started taking baths instead of showering because I bought some rose-scented bath oil and epsom salts and put them in the bathroom where he'd see them. I take good care of him. It's good for his skin and he smells so good.
I liked your list man. Nicely done.
BINGO on every count!

Great list and writing, John.

I'm amazed that so many men didn't know this stuff. (No hair on those knuckles).

--GG
That's a good trick, I don't have a husband yet but thanks now I know lol :)
Does anyone know why the front page hasn't changed in a month? What am I missing?
Now I'm sorry I waited so long to read this - the title was misleading. You're right on, about everything. Also it works both ways; women like to do nice things for their men too. When two people treat each other that way there won't be any tricks - except the kind that turn out to be real treats.
Doesn't work on my wife......

But then she passed away 15 years ago so I'd be surprised if it did.....;-)
.
will be sending this to my hubby to read in his lunch break - just before he goes out to get my a rose! :o)
I'm surprised that humans are still reading this, but it pleases me. Thanks, y'all
Why would she need to be tricked?
Lovely. Now...if only I had a husband that could benefit from this list...
This is brilliant. Did it go on Salon.com? It should. Will be giving it to my hubby to read.
You just might be the smartest man, EVER!! Loved your post. And thanks for giving those less ambitious guys a fighting chance ;)
I 'aint married, but boy, do I have some wife-friends who I'm emailing this to (to share w/ hubs, of course).
This is all very funny and if that was a goal, it worked. If the goal was to show how the relationships are to be enriched- I just do not understand what's the big deal. A person is to be decent without any ulterior motives. Not always sex is a motivation and not always we do things in order to get laid. I am maybe sounding too serious but you can buy all the flowers in the world and still have a harpy at home and you may be very tired and disturbed and still have a star at home. The wife is also human- she should see something herself too.
Why didn't I marry you?

Ten years ago, I divorced a man (who needed divorcing, trust me on that) whose faults I might've lived with.

What I couldn't live with--then, now or ever--was a man who absolutely did NOT want me. Nothing changed in me, I was the same woman who had lusted after him, even though he had no clocks in his house that worked (I had a few in mine). I thought his mostly-tepid desire was something I could adapt to. Alas, not.

When anyone starts turning away from you at night, folks, start looking for your lawyer. Sex, or the lack of it, really IS a deal-breaker.
Sort of a tepid, Reader's Digest, list. The only tip you need to be sure your wife has sex every day is to give her plenty of unmonitored time at home or outside of it.
No wonder you're the mayor. ha! R
This is list is what I needed the most haha. Nice
WOW!!!!! Ill send this to my husband.
Hard not to love this. If I could rate it twice, I would.
Um...... Trick??? No need for trickery here. Just sayin
"Trick your wife"? If that's what you have to do, you have problems hombre!
"Immigrant from Southern California (the land of fruits and nuts) to Southeast Texas (where men are men and so are some of the women). "
Okay - that is funny. I am a Texas gal, born and raised. Interestingly, given the chance to move to Southern California, I'd take it in a heartbeat (if it were Malibu or Santa Monica). Of course, I'd have to be able to afford my 3800 square foot home on 20 acres there. Ain't gonna happen.