Mrs. H, do you like constellations? The third grader stops me in the library. I found the big dipper twice. I tell him I look at the sky every chance I get. I look at his sweet face. I ask him if he's ever found Orion's Belt. It's an easy one to find, I tell him. He shakes his head no, and tells me he likes to find his own constellations. Dragons, mostly. I tell him maybe one day he'll discover a constellation so amazing they will name it after him. He is so visibly pleased with that the idea, it makes me want to cry. That would be so cool.
His mother's stomach strains against the buttons on her coat. The winter has been mild, but she wears it when she picks him up after school. She pushes a stroller with a sleeping toddler. Her long hair is pulled back neatly today in a ponytail. The rubber band is just a rubber band. The kind you keep in the top drawer in the kitchen.
I know things are hard. I want to ask her when the baby is due. If her husband ever came back. If she knows how much her boy loves to look at the stars. I think I might tell her there is a planetarium right here in the city. You can take your kids on Monday nights and look through a giant telescope and it doesn't cost a thing.
She says hello and smiles at me. She lets me know she has a new waitress job at one of the neighborhood restaurants. I wonder how long she will able to keep it with the baby due so soon. Monday, Wednesday and Friday, I'll be at the new restaurant on Massachusetts. I'll stop in one night, I tell her.
If I knew her better, I'd tell her about the planetarium on Massachusetts Avenue. I'd offer to take her boy one Monday night myself. But I don't. Her son is not even in my class. He just likes to talk to me about stuff. I watch her walk away with her stroller, her swollen feet, and her boy who loves to make up his own constellations.
He turns and waves to me.
Don't forget to look for dragons tonight, Mrs. H.
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JMac
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I love it and am glad you find the joy in children.
Thanks for this Mrs. H!
JMac, our school is cutting out as many field trips as possible. :(
Lezlie, you know there are so many who need so much attention...
Thanks for the good suggestion, Janie. I will definitely do something.
joanie, you are such a beautiful writer because your wonderful heart is right there.
terrific writing, joanie - the picture of the mother is indelible. the rubber band lines are perfect.
Lovely Monkey, yes! That's it exactly. I know his mom has no time to take him, and since he's not one of my students, it makes it harder to just offer to take him somewhere. (I've taken my own students places.)
Thank you for coming by with your big heart.
Candace, it is such a hard situation. We happen to live in a city with SO much for kids to do for FREE, but so many parents don't have the time or energy or even the means to get there. And out public schools want to cut out as many field trips as possible. (Why make a well-rounded child when you can drill stuff into their heads so they get high test scores?) xo
Teachers, the most under appreciated lot on the planet. How I value what you do.
-r
*
I just a popup that read: Something went wrong -
honest
ask editor
he snoopy
he growls
`
I have this Constellation book Titled: The Feminine -
spacious as the sky
by Miriam & Jose Arguelles
`
It's ref Psychology and Transcends some lousy views -
It's drawing from spiritual and old cultural traditions -
`
I may spend some time with the book -
"unborn, unceasing, and spacious as sky."
I hope this leaves scroll and no go to space
r
It would be so helpful and nobody would object if you took him to the planetarium during the time of delivery.
I would.I have done things like this.One Greek boy needed help in developing enough vocabulary in his 2nd language before entering school.I did provide this help for about 3 months.
What the boy needed most was encouragement.
He has turned into an excellent student.
That mom, with the baby on the way, and the toddler, and the first grader, with the waitress job she won't be able to keep, THAT's the woman who needs free, universal birth control. She is the one we're all talking about in too many blog posts to count. We all know that those of us with educations will always find the means to control our fertility. But that poor woman will just have kids, and the right wing idiots will call her irresponsible. I will just call her human, in a bad place, and doing the best she can.
Thank you so much for what you do, Joan, and for writing about it.
I stopped at Dunkin Donuts after playing basketball.
R
What a beautiful story, and you've written it so well too.
If it were me, I would tell his mother about how much her son loves the constellations. She may not know that already since she has her hands full as a single mother.
When I was a teacher, I used to send good news notes home at least once a week for the students (not just the students in my classroom). If you would prefer not to say anything to his mother, then you might want to consider that option.
We had rules at our school about the teachers not providing childcare for any of the students at school, not taking them on outings outside of school field trips, etc., as many schools do these days.
I can remember so many students with similar situations and wanting to help all of them and their families in big and small ways when their families were struggling. So I understand how you feel, but I think it is also very important in terms of professionalism to have clear and dinstict boundaries between the time a teacher spends at school and the teacher's life outside of the school community.
V
Thanks, Matt.
LM, you're right. Who knows? It can't hurt to mention it.
zanelle, I understand that sadness. So many kids, so many needing just a little...
I hope you can find a way to get him to the planetarium, but you've already made an impact on his view of the stars. Oh, oh, if you met him in the library, maybe a book on constellations? (And Candy always steals words right out of my head).
Less than the proverbial one hundred years ago most of us wouldn't have thought twice about speaking and offering.. but today? With the atmosphere that surrounds not only the working poor but so many 'classes' (like teachers) we almost always have second thoughts, questioning whether we should, what the perception might be (not only from the parties involved but from casual onlookers). And back then the recipient wouldn't have thought twice about accepting offers of help, it was just the way so many of us lived, you helped when you could, however you could, we just did because we could.
For the love of all that's holy - never mind any religion - when did the simple and nearly thoughtless act of helping one's neighbor - just because you could - become such a mine field?
There's more than the obvious victim (the small family) here - Joanie's spirit is a victim as well, common decency is a victim.. ultimately simple care and concern for our fellows is a victim too.
Hence the whole d*mn world today is a victim.
Rated for wondering how we find the way back from this precipice.
Given the circumstances you hint at, the poor child will never see the planetarium if this Mom is loaded down with 3 kids on a waitress' pay who may or may not have support from the Dad.
How have we as a society failed this woman such that she either can't prevent her pregnacies (can't get birth control, cannot say No to a forceful man, doesn't know about or understand birth control and needs education?) or simply will not prevent her pregnancies because she actually wants for herself and (so far) 3 kids to live in poverty? I see and hear of this over and over and I really want to know why women keep doing this to themselves and their children!
If I have mis-read a thing in this post that got me to this mini-rant Joan, please let me know. I just feel so hopeless for that little boy. I'd love to hear that his prospects for his future in astronomy are not as dire as they appear :-(
When you come upon the moment - don't hesitate - tell her.
:-)
r
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greenie, maybe I will. :)
c&v, what a lovely thought. It reminds me of the Crosby, Stills & Nash song, "Woodstock." (We are stardust, we are golden, we are billion year old carbon, and we've got to get ourselves back to the garden...) ah...
Jaime, I think some kids just make us feel like crying. Thanks you.
l'Heure Bleue, sometimes we can smile, talk to them, really listen to them, and then hope for the best.
Victoria, thank you for such kind words.
Dear Art, I will have to take a look at that book.
Stim, it is, isn't it? Thank you for knowing that.
to look for ... dragons ... in the stars ...
I say that is a lot right there. So many kids just need an ear, or someone who isn't their parents, who just sees a starry-eyed kid.
I'm glad you're listening.