When I was growing up, we went to Chicago for a long weekend every summer and ate at a Chinese restaurant. It wasn't the only thing we did, but fortune cookies and the improbable video phones at the Museum of Science and Industry are what I remember.
It was the early 1960's and Chinese restaurants and buffets had yet to show up on the main streets of southern Illinois small towns like my own. The only diversity we had was our catholics and protestants. And our food choices were almost exclusively centered around meat and potatoes. The only Chinese cuisine I knew was the very occasional chop suey from a can at home and, later, chop suey from a can at the school cafeteria.
It was an eye opener to walk into a Chinese restaurant with red lanterns and tassles, waiters talking in accents and wearing silk pajamas, Chinese families sitting at tables, and a menu with Chinese characters that I couldn't begin to understand. It was a window into a world I didn't yet know. A glimpse into a future. A step towards being worldly.
I ordered chop suey. So did my sister. And so did our mom. It was all we knew. Dad had grown up in Chicago and was a little more sophisticated, although I use that word loosely. He ordered beef with broccoli, fried rice and egg rolls, and made sure that they brought us hot tea with those little handleless cups that I so wanted to take home.
Almost as much as I wanted to order the fried ice cream for dessert. But dessert was never in our budget. And, after that first visit, I was okay with that. Because they brought us something even better at the end of our meal. They brought us our fortunes.
I think my first one said something like, "Happiness is yours if you enter each room with a smile and a wink." I took it to heart and returned home and started walking into every room with a wink and a smile. I'm pretty sure that people thought I had a tic, but I knew I had a fortune. A road map to happiness. Straightforward and assured. Something that made me feel good and positive about myself. Something that a scrawny nine year old from a small town could hold onto.
Subsequent fortunes just buoyed my growing confidence. "Hard work will bring big rewards." I could do that. "Keep your family close." I've got that covered.
I can think of only one other thing growing up that had an impact as great as my Chinese fortunes. It happened in seventh grade when our home room teacher was leaving to go to another school and gave everyone in class an award at the end of the year. Mine was for the "sexiest voice." I carried that certificate with the same confidence I carried my fortunes. I was 12 and didn't even need a bra yet, and on some level probably knew that this was a stretch. Yet, somehow I've lived for nearly 50 years believing I have a sexy voice--even though not a single other person has ever noticed it or commented on it.
I stopped at a Chinese take-out last week and brought home some dinner. I ate my beef and broccoli and fried rice and dug out the fortune cookie from the bottom of the bag with an innocence a little more jaded than the nine year old me. Still, I looked forward to reading it. "The stock market may be your ticket to success," it said.
"What the hell?" I thought. "My happy future is now tied in with the stock market?"
"And, even then, it's qualified? It's just a 'may be ticket'"
"What happened to rosy futures that made 9 year old girls enter rooms with a smile and a wink?"
"Where's that big reward I've been working hard for."
"What's the stock market got to do with anything anyway? Can't you see I'm wearing a smile."
"Confucious would be ashamed!"
I said this all in a very sexy voice.


Salon.com
Comments
"The only diversity we had was our catholics and protestants. And our food choices were almost exclusively centered around meat and potatoes." Hi neighbor! No, not from small-town Illinois, but from that era and kind of place. I didn't eat chop suey or ANYTHING that wasn't meat&potatoes until I was in my 20s. (We didn't go to restaurants - too poor and too out of it - it wasn't a concept, plus there weren't any anywhere nearby and we didn't have a car). Tho we had a "Chinatown" of sorts somewhere downtown.)
But a few years ago I did get a somewhat amazing fortune in a fortune cookie. It was the famous (in some circles) saying of Aleister Crowley: Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the law. Holy cow! Aleister Crowley in a fortune cookie! And because this is Canada, and everything including fortune cookie fortunes has to be bilingual, there wasn't room - on the back would be nice - to put the rest of the Crowley saying, which is usually left off, and softens it a good deal, while at the same time mystifying it: Love is the law, love under will. It was a super 'fortune' - croggling to both those who know Crowley and those who don't!
Myriad--You've educated me. I had to look up Crowley, and I'd say fortune cookies have branched out a bit.
jmac--Your palate is clearly a little more refined than mine.
Great post!
Happy post. Jewish people love Chinese food. Go figure?
Pensive--I know. And my lucky numbers don't seem to do me much good in the lottery either.
Deborah--Thank you. Those are nice words to hear.
Ande--I'll take one of each please.
Damon--How were you able to pull that up? I couldn't think of it.
V.--How long have you been waiting to be able to quote Fran Fine?
beauty--There may be nothing comparable, but it's pretty easy to find better than ChunKing.
Sarah--although I'm still waiting for my great reward...
itried--I've done that too. It's always funny.
old new lefty--Thank you very much.
You have a sexy voice.
Excellent piece, by the way. The fortunes in those cookies are definitely not what they used to be.
Brassawa--You've made my day.
workstudio--And much better than dinner mints.
something in the eyes...
ha. catholics and protestants and meat and potatoes...
sounds like my folks...watching them adjust to the new
cultural circumstances was comic.....
"we only ever tried that chinese food once, james," mom
would say," i like to do something different once in a blue moon.
Oh, but your father hated it , so we never went back."
I got them to like Mexican...tacos......"Oh it feels like my sinuses are getting a good workout! so spicy!"
I saw this really
funny short film once...in the basement, of the restaurant,
bunch of tech geeks research u
and write an appropriate fortune...
John--Laughing...(in a sexy voice)
I'm right there with you. The modern generation of Chinese Fortune Tellers, who foresee the future in short phrases, have become very materialistic. The sell-outs.
Now get thee to the stock market. I would, sadly.
Stim--Sadly, it's hard to make the stock market sexy--even "in bed."
fernsy--Straight to the stock market I'll go--right after I make my first profit from the book store.