jlsathre

jlsathre
Location
Illinois,
Birthday
July 30
Bio
I'm a lawyer in my past life, who got the kids through college and decided to try something different and a little more fun. A used book store sounded like a good idea, so that's where I am for now. I just hadn't counted on a recession or E-readers and am a little afraid there's going to be a third act. In the meantime, I have plenty to read and a little time to write. Not a bad way to spend a day.

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Salon.com
Editor’s Pick
JUNE 19, 2012 10:16AM

Clear the Courtroom!

Rate: 30 Flag

 

I had just graduated from law school and was in Chicago studying for the Bar Exam that I was scheduled to take at the end of summer. Somewhere in the near South Side I made a rolling stop or ran a red light or forgot to use the turn signal in my VW bug and got a ticket. I don't really remember what I did. I just remember that I could pay a fine before a certain date or go to court.

I was guilty. I remember that too. And I had every intention of pleading guilty. But right then my bank account had next to nothing in it and I wanted to hold on to whatever I had a little longer. I decided to go to court.

I could get a first hand look at the Chicago court system and have a legitimate reason for missing another day of the Bar Exam Review Class, which I had started skipping in favor of roaming around Chicago. "Win win," I thought.

My court date arrived and I found myself in a courtroom with about 100 other slackers and traffic violators, a few attorneys, and the dozen or so police officers who had caught us and were ready to testify if needed. It was hot; I was sweaty; and a back row seat in the air conditioned comfort of the bar review class was looking a little better.

The long procession of people pleading guilty reinforced my mistake. It was all very boring and fell far short of my expectations of trial work. It wasn't teaching me much about the court system other than that I had some long days ahead.

My name was finally called. 

I walked up in front of the judge, who looked at my file, saw that I didn't have a local address, and asked what I was doing in Chicago.  

 "I'm here to take the Bar Exam, Your Honor."

"You're an attorney?" he asked, looking up.

"Not quite yet."

"Take a seat," he ordered.

And so I sat, not sure what was going on, but feeling a lot like I had been sent to sit outside of the junior high principal's office waitng for my punishment. Not at all like I was a month away from being a licensed attorney.

I watched the judge dispose of some more cases. By the time he reached the bottom of the stack of files, there were only a dozen or so people and a few police officers left in the courtoom. My file was sitting off to the side. 

The judge looked up, looked around and, in a voice louder than needed for the small crowd, ordered everyone to, "Clear the courtroom!"

I got up and stepped towards the door, a little mad that I'd be coming back in the afternoon, when I heard someone say, "Not you!"

When I turned around, the judge was pointing at me. "You sit," he bellowed.

And so I sat, in front of the principal's door again. Waiting.

The judge looked over at the police officers, who had remained seated in the jury box, assuming the order wasn't meant for them. With a wave of his hand, he sent them out the side door.  

There were now four people in a courtroom built to hold several hundred. The judge, a bailiff, a court clerk, and me. The judge sent the baliff out. 

I was getting smaller by the minute. The tall ceiling, dark wood paneling, and lack of air conditioning were closing in on me. The whirling of the ceiling fans that did little to cool the immense room was the only sound. "Stupid, stupid, stupid...." they said with each rotation

"I should have paid the fine," I think.   

The judge reached for my file, called my case by name and docket number, and motioned for me to approach.  When I was standing in front of him, with a seriousness that behooved the robe and a full courtroom, he asked me if I wanted an immediate bench trial.

I went for honesty. "Well, Your Honor, actually I just wanted to hold on to...."

He held his hand up to stop me, looked around the empty courtroom and, in a booming voice, asked,"Is the arresting officer present?''

I found myself looking around too, although no one was there.

"Hmm? I guess not," the judge said.  "Case dismissed. You're free to go."

I wasn't at all sure what had just happened. When I looked at the judge, he gave the same little wave with the back of his hand that sent the police officers out the door. 

I turned and headed out. As I reached the door a voice behind me wished me luck.  

I learned something that day.

I was pretty sure it wouldn't be on the Bar Exam.

 

 

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oh mannn...i shoulda gone to court when i got mine on my way here. Thanks for the VOE!
Nice writing. Suspense had me going to the end. Glad he let you off!
Well, guess there was some measure of order in the court for you that day. Thanks for writing this memory.
In my experience(which is very extensive, sadly) you learned about 98 percent of what you needed to know that day. Recently, a judge cleared the courtroom in my case. He made sure it was the last one. Everytime this has happened in the past it was bad news for me. But, what a surprise the city attorney and the big lawyer on the other side had: He just cleared it cause he needed more time. They were so sure he was clearing it cause he planned to make bad and lawless ruilings for their side . Their smug expressions said it all.
My sister and I knew the drill and our hearts SANK-- the judge didn't want witnessnes. That's how it goes. But, alas, and mercifully, this wasn't the case this time around.
So glad that you are sharing this kind of "justice" with us. As a member of the bar these are the kinds of perks you could expect and that no one talks about.
You could get away with much worse than a traffic ticket and be let off. You could steal and screw over anyone and watch the specter of a judge just making "rulings" in your favor that make no legal or logical sense. Thanks for this inside look. Very meaningful.
Gosh, I sound addled. But, I have something called "Legal Abuse syndrome." It's an actual sickness that one can get if exposed for too long to the "justice" system.
I'm pretty sure that is outside the realm of material on the bar exam. Well-written piece about how courts can work for or against us.
Pandora--It doesn't always go that way. I've paid my share of tickets too.

Elizabeth--I was glad to be let off. I may have lost a little innocence though.

Mary--Yes there was. A few lessons too.

Fernsy--I'm reading between the lines and hoping you got some good news. Finally.

Rita--Not a single question on the Bar Exam about traffic court. Darn.
Just guessing that doesn't happen twice. /R
What a great story!

r
Jl: That day went freakishly well .It appears we have an uncorrupt judge. Sister and I were in shock for days as to what this judge said about my case: " It is clear a great injustice occurred here. You have big big damages. " He then said, " This case is important to you, I see that, but it is not just important to you . ... It is important to the system. Then his face got all red as he boomed angrily about how I was jailed for 45 days.
I was too in shock to say, " It was 31 days, your honor."

Then, he asked if it was okay if his "externs" could be present at any future court hearings because this is the kind of case they would love . I screeched, " Oh yes, please, I love witnessness!."
For a year he treated me as a pest and just one day it seems he had the time to really read my complaint and understand that I wasn't just wasting court time. It was something.
I don't write about it on my blog cause the other side would see it as gloating, I'm sure, and possibly lash out. Plus, who wants to jinx such an already precarious situation. But, I doubt they'll be able to trace this comment ect.
The Force was with you that day, jl. Good story.
fernsy--That all sounds very positive. I'm keeping my fingers crossed. There are good people in the system. I hope you've landed with one.
JL, I'd forgotten about your lawyer past. The moral I took away from this story is that good looking young women have always gotten away with all kinds of mischief. Kidding. And the VW bug made me smile. :) What colour was it? Do you have a photograph - I dont know why but I have this thing for people's photographs of their bugs.
Professional courtesy, I guess, hum? :)
nilesite--Well, actually, there was another time...

V.--Thanks. I think I made it through the summer a little wiser and with a couple dollars still in the bank.

Erica--Yep, the force was with me.

icy--The VW was yellow and always made me smile too, except in the winter when there was no heat and that one time when it decided to stop working in the middle of Ohio.

Deborah--Yes, he was a very professional and courteous judge.
Written in sparkling clarity with an ironic bite.
I once went to court over a ticket for having driven at exactly 2 mph over the speed limit while sick with a flu virus. I was th eonly one in my family who wasn't too sick to go to the store for a few minutes and get a few groceries, so I made a list for everybody for later deliveries, and headed out. The judge took one look at the amount of paperwork offered him for a 2mph speeding violation, and threw the case out without even hearing from me. He actually chewed out the officer who issued the ticket, calling it a "waste of time."
What made me feel pretty angry was how I had to miss an afternoon of work all so some hotshot cop could flex his mental muscles at me in a court of law.
But how I loved that judge's decision!
R
Ahhh this is something we all should have something like it at the start of our careers! r.
Well, what DID you learn?
Cronyism!
The farce of the judicial system! Judges waving their hands
showing off
and cutting breaks
for cute little law student ladies
in glasses
who
get all the advantages!

I say, what you observed was an utter travesty of
justice, is what i say!
All ya gotta be is some blonde dish of a law student
and
suddenly you get all the breaks!
A funny tale well told. I usually just pay the fine because I find going to court like going into surgery: once they start operating you never know what may happen. R
Damon--Thank you. I'm pretty sure that's a compliment.

Poor Woman--I got one once for going 19 in a 15. But I had started paying my tickets by then.

Jonathan--I'm not so sure. It kind of tainted me.

James--Whoah! Hold on! I'll go back and pay it.

Gerald--Thanks. And court usually takes longer.
Jl...your life has been a quilt of many designs and patterns. As I said before, I wish I lived nearby so I could become a regular in your shop.
Talking one's way out of a ticket is the best fantasy. I did it by pretending not understand French in downtown Montreal. Traffic was backed up, horns were honking and the police office sent me off with as much disdain as he could muster and still control the traffic. You see, he was speaking English. It was fun...I must admit. :)
Great!
In court never say
`
No, your hindness.
Judge slaps farmer.
Jury slap lawyers.
`
Not literally. Mindfully.
They fought back impulse.
No slug folk who`Fugue.
or
blokes who belittle `Freud.
No badmouth` Harpo Marx.
No slurp duck soup in Court.
`
I gone off for another stroll.
I hope no drone bee sting me.
Drones get kicked from hive.
`
Nature's drones have no stinger.
If they no work they get sent away.
Maybe after a bit I be back to play.
Play fair.
Serious.
Convey.
`
well, no, dont pay it.
i didnt mean that!
i just meant that you sophisticated blonde lawyer ladies
with the most current eyeglasses
get all the advantages.
which you should!
if i were a judge, i would wave my hand and dismiss yr case too!
what a great story (and of course well written as usual). somehow i can picture you in a yellow vw bug... but brrrrrrrr in chicago with no heat in it.
Professional Courtesy I'm guessing, for someone not quite ready to defend themselves -- or perhaps this judge was once where you were and decided to give you a pass. I'm all for compassion in our court system.

Very cool story. Most of mine that involve the law and legality have a more sanguine outcome.
--r--
I went to court on one, but only because it was too close to the last one and they wouldn't let me do defensive driving for it. I didn't even get in the door before it was dismissed. Mine felt like a wasted day. Glad yours was better.
Ande--I didn't even have to talk myself out of this one.

Art--"Jury slaps lawyer. Not literally. Mindfully. They fought back impulse." I like that.

James--Oh, good. We're okay now.

lorianne--No air conditioning in summer either.

dunniteowl--I'm pretty sure it was a gift.

just phyllis--A wasted day, but no fine at least.
only in chicago, jl, and i'm betting - even there - it doesn't happen anymore. the wink-and-nod stuff between lawyers (or law students, in your case) and judges doesn't go on in CA and hasn't for decades. even if one judge wanted to, there are far, far too many potential whistleblowers around for him or her to risk his job. good writing, as always.
That's the Chicago I know and love, all right. Well, I don't love the corrupt part.

Lezlie
Well, JL, I thought we were good but then the Master of Ceremonies,
Malewise, at least, dunno about girlwise,
Showed up . Art james.


Judge slaps farmer.
Jury slap lawyers.
`
Not literally. Mindfully.
They fought back impulse.
`
Nature's drones have no stinger.
If they no work they get sent away.
Maybe after a bit I be back to play.
Play fair.
Serious.
Convey.”


Now I got no idea what to think anymore, geezus !
`
Once had a judge laugh as he dismissed my ticket for driving 42 in a 35 mph zone... after the officer testified, he asked me why I thought I should not have to pay the fine to which I replied, " Well your honor I think the officer had it in for me. I was driving in the right lane and everybody on the street was honking their horn as the passed me in the left lane." Then I reached behind my neck pulled my hair from beneath the button down collar of my Oxford shirt and let it flow down over my shoulders. "Guess he figured he'd bust the hippie."
Thank you for sharing this vivid memory,JL and many gongratulations on your EP . Rated!!!
I'll rate the storyteller.

I shall not rate the judge.
femme--I agree. I don't think it would happen anymore. Certainly not in such an obvious way.

Lezlie--Chicago is always interesting.

James--That darn Art. He always stirs things up.

jmac--Hippies didn't always get a free ride. You were lucky...or in California.

Stathi--Thank you very much.

Eljekar--Fair enough.
JL:\
well, speaking of stirring things up,
you opening yr bookstore
seems to still stir readers.
most viewed, i see.
editor's pick now.
ay!


well deserved.
When I lived in Colorado Springs, eons ago, I got and paid a speeding ticket. A week or so later I get a summons to court in DENVER. I brought the summons to work (at a law firm) and asked my boss if I had to go? I had paid the fine already. He said, 'If you get a summons you'd better show. There is a mistake somewhere."

I drive all the way to Denver, and like you sat in a huge room and one by one everyone (pretty much plead guilty) and left. I was the only one left. Judge said, "What are you doing here?" I waved the summons, he looked at it. He looked a list. He said, "You already paid the fine, why are you here?"

"Well, you sent me a summons." He said, "No, I didn't send you the summons, the new computer system did. "
Cute! Courtesy to a colleague? Being nice to a young 'un? Kind of a scary display of judgy powers... Hope he used them for good on other occasions...
James--I don't know what to think of that bookstore one, except that it's got to be some type of record to get an EP six months later.

Kate--I think that lawyer you worked with maybe should have made a phone call for you.

Myriad--Chicago politics kind of worked their way down to the courts. I think it's different now.
More, please. You must have many stories from your law career. I enjoyed reading this.
R♥
This story is somehow adorable. I really enjoyed it. There's nothing better than being let off the hook.
Prof. Kingsfield made judge, I see. Good for Chicago. Great for you. Superbly prepared brief.
Fusun--I don't always feel like going back there, but maybe. There's the client who was caught climbing through a window and, when asked what he was doing, said he "fell from a plane." That might make a good story about defenses that don't work.

Manhattan--Glad you enjoyed it.

Matt--You did good to come up with Prof. Kingsfield. I haven't thought of him in a long time.