Ted Nugent just said some really crazy stuff. But he has a very important reason to get himself in the news. He’s launching his own line of Ted Nugent brand ammunition.
Despite his nutty ranting, you actually have nothing to fear from Ted Nugent. In Nugent-world he’s a brave man because he won’t leave home without a gun hidden way up under his shirt. But being afraid to go outside without a gun isn’t a sign of bravery; it is decisive evidence of cowardliness. The vast majority of Americans prove that every day (including the vast majority of gun owners.)
Of course the gun hiders don’t want you to know that little secret. Heck, they don’t even want to admit it to themselves. But that’s the long and short of it. These guys bloviate and hide guns up under their skirts… I mean shirts… for the same reason. They are afraid of the big, bad world outside of the castle walls. It’s all smoke and bluster – underneath is a scared little boy terrified he’ll get eaten by a dragon.
So I’m amused to watch my liberal compatriots try to make the case that Nugent is somehow a threat to the president. Forget that Nugent wouldn’t survive 15 seconds up against any Secret Service Agent. He wouldn’t have the cojones to even try it.
Nugent is what he is – the former frontman of a C-list band, the Amboy Dukes. Remember them? Me neither. Like some other “former artists” he revived his income potential by attaching himself to a social issue. He’s more Victoria Jackson than George Patton, trust me.
But on a more granular level, Nugent is also a paid spokesman for an industry that markets entirely to scared guys with the message, No matter how many guns you have, you need another one.
The National Rifle Association is no longer the sportsman’s organization I shot for back in the late 60’s. (Yes, I can still put a round through your eyeball at 50 feet -- with iron sights -- but you won’t hear me threatening to do it if you try to steal my lawn mower. Sheesh.) Today’s NRA is an industry shill devoted entirely to making sure fraidy-cat, child-men stay whipped up into a frenzy of panic-induced purchase intention. And Ted Nugent is their mouthpiece.
Think I’m kidding? During a recent interview with Piers Morgan, Nugent used the Trayvon killing as an excuse to extoll the virtues of needing to carry a second gun, in case the perp' gets a hold of your first one. No matter how many guns you have, you need another one. Get it?
And so it was with his comments at this year’s NRA convention – a gathering that is itself the nexus of paranoia and smokeless gunpowder. Parse Nugent’s message – our leaders are criminals and they will try to kill or imprison people like you and me – and you can find the Meta message: No matter how many guns you have, you need another one.
This brings us to Nugent’s most recent deliberate news making…
Besides guns themselves, the other big money in the gun industry is in convincing people to stockpile ammo, in anticipation of the coming Armageddon. Or race riot. Or Democratic administration.
Remember the ammo shortage when President Obama was elected? Nugent hopes to tap that same income stream with his new ammo brand. In garages, basements, CONEX containers, and buried in forest caches and hidey-holes, the nuttiest gun squirrels stockpile hundreds or thousands or tens of thousands of rounds. And the Amboy Juke wants his picture on every moldering box.
The line is manufactured by Pierce Munitions LLC, a small, boutique manufacturer in New York. Pierce is owned by Aaron J. Pierce whose other business is selling cigarettes on the Seneca Indian Reservation. Pierce’s product is primarily offered regionally and the Nugent deal is the only press release on the company’s half-done website. Clearly, Pierce doesn’t have to juice to pull off a brand promotion by itself. Cue the crazy talk…
The problem, of course, is not Ted Nugent, nor his semi-coherent rants, nor his vanity ammo business. It is when some simple-minded guy named Zimmerman laps up the shtick and imagines he’s the line between society and chaos. Then, the possibility of tragedy becomes much more real. Nugent is about as dangerous as a Twinkie. It’s the guy repeating Nugent’s rant-speech in a mumble; he’s the one you have to watch out for. He’s the real face of today’s NRA.
The author shot competitively with the NRA Headquarters JRC team in the 1960s. He likes to shoot for fun.