- Milwaukee, Wisconsin, USA
- April 18
- I write about being a mother and grandmother, adoption and kids, getting older and the wonderment that brings. My husband says I'm 'sardonic' but then looked up the word and said 'not so much'. I leave it there.
MY RECENT POSTS
- No Surrender
December 08, 2013 11:36PM
- How's It Going Over There in
December 02, 2013 03:38PM
- Why Am I Not Surprised?
November 17, 2013 04:51PM
- Thinking about Adoption? Ten
Things to Ponder
November 14, 2013 05:46PM
- My Uncle's Letters
November 11, 2013 12:36PM
MY RECENT COMMENTS
- “I had no idea all of
this went on around the
November 23, 2013 12:18AM
- “Hope and incredible
charisma. Magnetism defined.
assassination smashed all
November 21, 2013 09:57AM
- “I admire you for taking
this on. I'm with you - don't
fiction - but the
November 19, 2013 11:34PM
- “I love the accidents
that are Open Salon like
this essay. A
November 18, 2013 09:35AM
- “It would be easy for you
not to do what you are doing
those kids would not
November 01, 2013 12:05AM
Jan Wilberg's Links
- MY LINKS
I think I passed over to the other side.
It happened tonight with my 12 college students. "You'll have to speak louder. Remember I can't hear." So the young woman in the corner spoke so I could hear her but I know she was probably shouting. "Yes, yes! I said. "Great… Read full post »
Is it even possible to count the number of times I've read a newspaper story describing how mom's boyfriend beat the crap out of her child? No. It is not. Here's today's bad fairy tale.
Each case is unique but here are the common elements from my point of view. Mom… Read full post »
Am I the only one who is not surprised by the shooting of Renisha McBride? An African American woman knocks on the door of a white man living in Dearborn Heights, he assumes the worst and shoots her. Oh my word, all of us nice folk in our rockers opine. How… Read full post »
It's National Adoption Month. Sometimes I wonder why everybody doesn't adopt children. Other times, I wonder why anyone would. I'm not ambivalent, just multi-faceted.
In honor of National Adoption Month, I decided to make a list of the top ten things to think about before you adopt a child. These wil… Read full post »
There were dozens of them, letters from my uncle to his mother written while he served in the Army in World War II. The handwriting was careful and perfect, the lines even and straight on unlined paper, penmanship so perfect it could instruct third graders across the country. He had learned… Read full post »
There is a passage in the memoir, Twelve Years A Slave, published in 1853, in which Solomon Northup, then known as the slave Platt, is handed a whip by his master and ordered to flog his friend Patsey, who is tied, naked and spread-eagle on the ground. And Northup, quickly considering… Read full post »
The young woman at the nail salon looked like a pregnant Olive Oyl, as thin as sticks with a close to full term baby belly. Olive wore a surgical mask which seemed to me to be overdressing for the task at hand. What was it she could catch from my feet… Read full post »
Without thinking even 60 seconds, I hit the Buy Now button and sent my 89-year old father his first computer, a brilliant blue IMac. The same day I wrote him a letter, gave him my email address, and told him to email me when he got the IMac.
Then I waited,… Read full post »
What is the big deal about the still face? Simple. It makes people crazy.
Anyone who adopts internationally is warned about the effects of the lack of human interaction on children raised in institutions. Oh, children are fed and clothed but they aren't talked to, played with, and responded to.… Read full post »
Every time I drive this patch of road, which is almost everyday, I remember being told right at this exact spot, "You need to see a shrink."
I was the passenger in the car. The driver was my friend who was also my boss who used to be a priest… Read full post »
"We don't want them to have friends. We don't want them getting attached to the other girls or to staff members."
This baffled me. How do you keep girls from making friends? And why wouldn't you want them to get attached to staff? Wouldn't that be a good thing? But it… Read full post »
"We heard you were going to send her back." The school social worker looked at me over her glasses, raising an eyebrow in disapproval. Where had she heard that? Those words had never been spoken, at least not by me. Was she clairvoyant?
Yes, I'd had the thought but… Read full post »
Who would do this? Who would drive their legally adopted 16-year old daughter from their home in Wisconsin to a trailer park in Illinois and leave her there with complete strangers? Who would leave her there and give power of attorney, essentially guardianship, to those strangers? All of this on… Read full post »
It starts around 5:00. Before that, the day has hope. At 5:00, hope evaporates into little clouds of resignation that then gather and form a storm cloud of dread. It's as if someone has given me a pill timed to dampen my mood and behavior late afternoon every Sunday.
This has… Read full post »
When your father dies, you will be at a loss for words.
If it's a surprise, you will burst into tears. You will cover your face with your hands and cry like you were six-years old, like the time you got lost on the way home from school and all… Read full post »
I may not have anything else to say except that I saw this today: a white duck waddling on the breakwater in Milwaukee with a little red collar and a red leash held by a mid-thirties-looking woman who was strolling with her husband and three children. The breakwater, which might be… Read full post »
There she was, plain as day. I found my cousin, Peggy, on Facebook. No picture but the stats worked. Same home town, graduated a year ahead of me, living now in Flint, a fact I'd known from an internet search I'd done years ago.
I really wanted to find her.… Read full post »
Dogs have a power hierarchy that has been working for them since the Stone Age. So why do I keep thinking I can establish an egalitarian dog society in my house, in which the two dogs would function as equals and partners and they would be privileged to food and… Read full post »
Ten years from now, homeless shelters will be packed with veterans of the War in Syria. The veterans of Afghanistan and Iraq, having died by suicide or by addiction, or simply moved on and out after years of unsuccessful interventions and help that wasn't accepted, will pass the baton to a… Read full post »
Just an hour ago, the sun was shining on my back while I painted the window frames. In the distance I could see the fog coming our way off Lake Superior and wished I'd started painting earlier. Now we're enveloped and I hope it doesn't rain. I love painting our… Read full post »
Adopting children from a foreign country is so glamorous, so heroic, attention-getting, show-stopping. If you adopt a child from another country, your friends will admire you and strangers will call you a saint. You, on the other hand, know the truth. You're going to another country to adopt a child… Read full post »
Knowing I will be completely and totally alone in this point of view, I advance it anyway. Whether the person who was just sentenced for leaking government secrets is called Chelsea or Bradley Manning is irrelevant to me. What is relevant is the whole, misbegotten, counterproductive notion of lo… Read full post »
There's something wrong with me. That's been clear for a long time.
I love my kids but when it was time for them to go, it was time for them to go. Goodbye.
The days that we took two out of our four kids to college were possibly the best… Read full post »
I like to say I knew her when.
I knew her when her bangs were cut straight across with sewing scissors because the idea of spending real money on a haircut for a kid seemed outlandish to me.
I knew her when she would dangle upside down from a metal bar… Read full post »
Everyone's in love with Detroit. Why is that? It's the Bangladesh of 2013. Where's George Harrison when we need him?
To talk about Detroit, one has to first offer evidence of street cred. I never lived in Detroit, I lived in Southfield, what was then a white working class suburb and… Read full post »