A splash of humor, a dash of cynicism, and a twist of skepticism

james poyner

james poyner
Summit, New Jersey,
May 14
A former journalist and stock analyst, I now do custom cabinetry and photography. I also occasionally vent verbally, a throwback to days in the newsroom.


James poyner's Links

No links in this category.
JANUARY 6, 2009 12:44PM

Gun Fun in the Sun

 My family returned to Texas for the holidays in Dallas and the East Texas town of Longview. We went to see relatives and friends, renew our love affair with Tex-Mex, and remind ourselves after 15 years in New Jersey what makes Texas Texas. As we rediscovered in both Dallas and Longview,… Read full post »

DECEMBER 28, 2008 11:04AM

Energy Policy Is a Taxing Exercise

In response to Shell Oil's open call for comments regarding energy, I believe energy policy is best established through the behavior modification of tax policy. Some people call for taxing gasoline, making it more expensive, to curb its use. I find that too broad-brushed--and taxing gasoline is a reg… Read full post »

DECEMBER 25, 2008 12:53AM

The New Bicycle

When I was nine in 1965 all I wanted for Christmas was a bicycle I could call my own. My older sister's heavy, bulbous Schwinn, handed down to me now that she was off to high school, simply was not the answer. On the plains of West Texas, riding a girl's bike,… Read full post »

DECEMBER 18, 2008 10:42PM

Steal Billions But Don't Boost a Bagel!

 The past three months in this country have been surreal in terms of the financial suffering that has hit our shores like a tsunami that should have been spotted on radar but wasn’t. So given that, you’d think the country’s “leadership” would be a tad more sensitive… Read full post »

DECEMBER 17, 2008 7:32AM

Shoe, Fly, Don't Bother Me

So the years-long quagmire in Iraq that George W.  unleashed on the world yielded not roses for the liberators but a shoedown last Sunday between Bush the Imbecilic and an Iraqi journalist who, I predict, will be a shoe-in at the country’s next election for prime minister. When P… Read full post »

DECEMBER 15, 2008 11:15PM

These Little Piggies Went to Slaughter

My mother’s father, who died long before I was born, reared seven children as a desperately poor widower who had been crippled by polio as a child. As mom tells it, he hobbled door to door on crutches, selling razor blades, pencils, sewing thread—anything that everyone needed but could be… Read full post »

DECEMBER 12, 2008 11:27PM

Shower the People

I have a confession to make. I’m a rock star. At least in the shower. The natural reverberation in my shower makes for a dramatic finish to my cover of “Stairway To Heaven.” Mick Jagger, if all of your shows had to be done under a pulsating shower head, your fat… Read full post »

DECEMBER 7, 2008 5:43PM

Farewell, My Lovely Neighbors

The other day my wife,  Anne,  Summit's  high-school theater teacher, and I were driving to a movie when, out of nowhere, she observed that the 15 years we’ve spent at 26 Joanna Way is the longest period in her entire life she’s lived in one place. When I thought about… Read full post »

DECEMBER 4, 2008 9:36PM

Plastic Fantastic Man

My worst job? While I definitely had a few as a kid that I quickly eliminated as career paths, I’d have to say that they all taught me something valuable. But I’ll go with Dallas Plastics, a small fabricator of strange plastic parts such as louvers for car air conditioners and… Read full post »

DECEMBER 4, 2008 12:05AM

No More Leavin’ on a Jet Plane

Yes, you, too, can improve your IQ in only two weeks! All you have to be is a CEO of one of the Big Three auto makers (soon to be the Medium Size Two, I predict). Amazingly, in only two weeks these three titans of transportation showed how they made it… Read full post »

NOVEMBER 30, 2008 7:08PM

Barack of Ages...Or Barack Obummer?

So, after almost a month of media adulation over Obama’s apotheosis, I watch the bronze oak leaves rain down in the front yard, a metaphor for the nation’s jobs that continue to be lost at a dizzying pace. With the latest jobless rate reported at 6.5%, the highest in 14 years and… Read full post »

NOVEMBER 29, 2008 5:06PM

Give Me Wal-Mart, Or Give Me Death!

 Three years ago in my annual Christmas letter, I fancifully fantasized about dying and coming back to earth as a dog, saying it would be an uptick “because dogs don’t trample each other to get into a Wal-Mart at 5 a.m. to buy a $20 DVD player for Christmas.…”  I th/… Read full post »

NOVEMBER 27, 2008 2:05PM

Of Turkeys, Talk, and Thanks

So Thanksgiving officially got underway in the Poyner household this morning with the start of the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade on our first high-definition TV. Al Roker, as usual, kicked off  “the massive recession,” or was that “the massive procession.” These da… Read full post »

NOVEMBER 23, 2008 3:43PM

A Ballet Even Tony Soprano Would Love

Upon reading that 200,000 or so Obamamites had applied for jobs within Barack’s administration, my wife, Anne, looked up from the paper and exclaimed perkily, “You could be his Chief of Cynicism!”  I wanted to take umbrage at her wisecrack—then thought better of it. My wi/… Read full post »

NOVEMBER 20, 2008 12:17AM

What Would Moe, Larry, and Curly Do?

With each passing hour the potential horrors for refusing to bail out the U.S. auto industry grow. Last I heard, if Washington doesn’t toss a $25-billion bone to Detroit, 10 million jobs will vanish in a nanosecond, dogs will start mating with cats, the Cubs will win the Series, and locusts… Read full post »

NOVEMBER 19, 2008 7:24PM

Pit Bulls in Spamalot

While economic malaise continues to spread faster than a California wildfire, President-elect Obama still hasn’t announced a decision concerning the most pressing question of our time: What breed  will occupy the Oval Doghouse? I awoke this morning with a jolt of inspiration, formulating o/… Read full post »

Comments are now closed for this post.