I was given the task of assembling my sister’s new printer while I am babysitting Georgie Puppy this weekend.
I wasn’t in any kind of mood to do it, but I did.
I squatted on the floor caffeinate - ing and sighing heavily to clear my lungs. Georgie ate my cigarette case (one of those yellow ‘first aid’ little boxes: awfully ironic I thought…first aid…) while I was working. He kept coming into the room to nudge me and wreak havoc on my careful dexterous technological movements), so I got a bit short with him.
“if you don’t fucking fuck off, kiddo, I am gonna crate your ass and ignore you while you howl to the wind, ok?”
“alright, sorry.”
~
Later, I was so happy that I’d done my job successfully, I wasn’t mad at G.for eating my case. I need a proper one anyway. Not an ironic one whose irony is lost on most people, and makes me look like an impoverished hick .
I could make one from some other boxlike product out there I suppose, but cant think what would satisfy me for the long run. Something that goes solidly in your pocket and seems elegant. Like, well, a cigarette case, right? Where do you get one of them? A smoke shop I suppose.
I was pondering this on our walk when a woman jogged by with a beautiful canine running beside her tanned shorty-shorts-ed legs. I had to hold the lunging idiot beast I was accompanying and forgot to return her smile. Though I did manage a ‘’good morning”.
She no doubt pitied me for my untamed monster.
“She was nice” said Georgie.
“I didn’t notice her. You were leaping at her dog.”
“Then why not just let me jump where I wanna? I would not have hurt the dog. I liked her! I wanted to scuffle!”
“You cannot scuffle willy nilly with a lady, out on the trail, dumbass. When will you learn this?”
“I dunno. What is wrong with you, Uncle? You seem uptight. Enjoy the air. The smells. The world!”
“I have a stunted sense of smell due to cigarette smoking.”
“so stop! It is yucky anyway. Like Momma says.”
“Never!”
“Fine! Can we pick up the pace?”
“NO!”
.
“ok ok sorry”
~
Later, as he snuggled against my feet , I forgave the boy.
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Comments
whatever 'it ' is on the innocents.
I really wish I did needlepoint now. I would make you an elegant, manly cigarette case. Alas, my skills didn't go that route.
Rated.
I'm slightly confused. Who's the untamed monster - you or the pooch? I think you must curb your language around him because he's very impressionable at this age and who knows what he could grow up to be - the canine version of James Holmes or John Wayne Gacy or heaven help us, something even worse. Never underestimate your power over one who adores you!
You must admit, he's pretty smart and he worries about you. Cooper wants me to quit smoking too although in his case, I think he hopes if I do, I'll eat more instead and increase his chances for treats (one of his many trainers said he was the most food-motivated dog she'd ever seen. Then, predictably, she said, "euthanize him".)
I argue with him all the time about it, but if Georgie got you to quit, I probably would too.
With each animal over which I have the responsibility,I try to do my best to improve his conditions to the previous one.
I do not believe that animals take advantage of the human race.They pick up emotions and comfort,even protect you because of their better instincts.Once they are gone,you'll always be sorry for the ommitted care.It is inexcusable to turn animals,especially dogs,into slaves of a human's moods.
You should have gotten mad at your sister,not at the dog.
BUT:You are a very thoughtful,considerate uncle,and Georgie knows this.HE is the one to forgive YOU because of his unconditional love.
Your words . . .
You'd be a great HICK Neighbor. Your functional.
Have seminar?
Teach DIGITS?
Have Sleepover.
Charge Big Fees.
`
ad read Xfinity.
$89. a month.
Visa prepaid.
`
Get Stinky Filth.
Hoard Filth Lucre.
Be Rotten Within.
`
Snarl like politicos.
Money ruins folks.
Remain sane/poor.
`
Give dog lessons.
Train to no scoot.
No scoot on butt.
Blow smoke rings.
Mutt pee outdoors.
Begin breed kennel.
Sell black lab puppy.
Buy dog a yellow cat.
Cat scratch dog back.
I saw cat hiss at a dog.
Cat HISS like Kerry do.
Dog no do craps inside.
Some folk crap britches.
Teach editor to play craps?
Buy Pink role of `Soft tissue.
Teach editor to` No do mess.
I swear there's ` Big Problem.
Be easy on Self ` No Skin Cat.
Be Nice. No Shed` Cat Hairs.
Felines. Purr as a` Lion Does.
when have you ever been uptight?
i mean honest now. Really.
note: blowing some sax for mongrels calms them down.
blessings,
-ume
I envy you.
I think I will send you this little box, just the right size, from "Life Gift"
I was woken up early yesterday by my cat yelling at me - he was angry that we left him for a week. Although we did have a very nice cat-lover come and feed him - I have a feeling she fussed over him. But he is a bit of a diva.
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