Nothing terribly important happened to me this July.
I am still getting older. I suspect that my hairline is ascending,
but i have no real proof of that except
the subjective judgment i employ
when fresh out of the shower
and combing my hair.
I seem to have alot of forehead in the mirror.
But i keep the hair curly and what the front part of it does is:
(ha) sweep down in''natural curls" to hide any sign
of incipient baldness, which would depress the hell out of me
if i knew it to be there for Others to see...
right now i don't care.
I still got my youthful curly hair,
hardly one in a billion of its follicles gray.
Someone said my family seems to be weirdly protected somehow from signs of aging...and it is certainly true in sister's case....
i went today with sister L to see "glorious marigold hotel "
and nearly weeped during some of it.
So much raw British-actor energy screaming off the screen
in mild contemplative acceptance of humiliation
as a fact of life,
that I identified with way too many old people in it...
those oldsters looking for a new life, in India....
gosh i hope they find love or just a new way of be-ing...British returning 60 years after the apocalyptic happens there...
no doubt well versed in Hinduism. Buddhism too. Brilliant British actors and actresses, looking for a place where it is not perfect,
yet it can be habitated to,
if enough great actors & actresses decide to play along.
Which they all did.
~ So why not let us all just play along,
here in our own particular marigold hotel, Open Salon?
We know how to talk to each other,
we ancient ones of any age.....
my age is mid 40's. Mid 40 American male,
well preserved physically, but mentally?
Let loose INTELLECTUALLY to explore every inch
of Hell on White American Anglo Saxon Earth he could,
and suffer awful terrible stuff
they now got cool names and drugs for:
Yuck.Yet fun in spots.
Those spots where it is fun to be mentally disturbed
here in 21st century America
are watched with eagle eyes
by therapeutic types, mostly female,
who wanna help you make it through it, whatever "it" is.
The only price they ask, these Psychological/Pharmaceutical educated presentable people who are there to "heal" those of us who go astray
only one thing in their dogooding to get you back to normal:
they ask, without asking, what is it like? ~
I tell em whatever they wanna know,
eagerly, cuz i love talking about 1.myself and
2. the sickness of the American 'self'
3.i am very curious about other people
so i spill the beans, and good!
~ Here is my "message", my "agenda", my "bottom line" as the straight noncrazy people like to talk and inquire about: it is hard to care anymore. do you find that, too?