Someone must conquer the Now, and make it available to all.
Seems to be my self-appointed task.
For purely personal reasons: I simply want to enjoy life again, as I dimly remember being able to do as a child………..
Everyone, including me, is always saying “Oh, you project too much,” or “You are projecting that”.
Once in awhile, not often , I actually think about what people are saying to me, or I am saying back to them. When I do this, it results in a vertiginous spiral of speculation. Due to my philosophy training, I am able to handle the heights.
My first instinct as a scholar was to go online and research the hell out of it, but my second instinct as an immensely lazy faux-intellectual kicked in, so I consulted Wikipedia instead, which said:
his or her own attributes, thoughts, and emotions, which are then ascribed to the outside world,
usually to other people.
Projection reduces anxiety by allowing the expression of the unwanted unconscious impulses or desires without letting the conscious mind recognize them.”
Psychologists are big on ‘’defense mechanisms’’, aren’t they?
What the hell is it I am defending, is what I ask.
I need purpose. I have none. I wish to gain some.
I suppose that building up this shadow persona I show the world might be entertaining.
So I do, then I doubt in it. Is it good enough? True enough? Beautiful enough?
Not hardly, I tell my self.
Gotta do better tomorrow, or later today…or, now.
I hate projecting all these faults on this person, this self I have made.