JAMES M. EMMERLING

LOVE. PEACE. POWER.

James M. Emmerling

James M. Emmerling
Birthday
June 24
Title
Mental Health Advocate/Dog Watcher
Bio
'"And we are put on earth a little space, That we may learn to bear the beams of love,'' William Blake HEGEL: ""The force of mind is only as great as its expression; its depth only as deep as its power to expand and lose itself."

James M. Emmerling's Links

MY LINKS
JUNE 27, 2012 3:16PM

Family HamChroniclesContinued:a doggy in distress(w/nudity!)

Rate: 17 Flag

al 

In death you face life with a child and a wife
Who sleep-walks through your dreams into walls

 

dylan , "no time to think"

 I spent a long confusing night with Rena Oblong, alternately making sweet love and addressing emotional issues that post-coitally came to her.  I think I may love her a little bit, but after what she spilled , naked in the fragrant sheets, after each physical interlude, I realized I am in for a hell of a ride.

 

 revbd

Sometimes you don’t have a choice if to go along with the ride or not. It was getting to the point where my free will was at stake, with Rena. She’s “gotten her tentacles into you,’ as mom might say. But as a man, of course in the back of your head, you wonder: is it worth it?  I was ambivalent after hearing of her past, I am ashamed to say. It made mine look like the Brady Bunch, which it most certainly was not.

............................................................

I am sorry , but I feel too much loyalty to Rena (a bad sign!) to reveal how her mother made her  childhood an indescribable hell. How her beloved father fell  dead from a stroke,early, from her Mom’s onslaughts against his sanity . What her mother was like now. Still quite alive and well.

 

  The whole saga is somewhat similar to my parents.  Dad is suffering from dementia brought on by too much future-shock &  way too much ball-busting from his wife of 50 years.Still, at 85 yrs old, he manages to maintain the office of principal of the local highschool, and keep schmoozing  or threatening  town leaders to keep a  position he can  no longer realistically hold,.  not without help, which Rena and I provide, to keep his sanity intact. With administrative advice. 

 

Rena asked me a favor then. Most unusual. She rarely asks anything of me, even in bed...i must..improvise...which, alas, grows tiring.... 

 

  “After school today, jim, can you come with me to see Mom?” Rena asked,in rather a small voice for her... pulling on black stockings and a black skirt. The image of her half-clothed body made me compliant. Her black hair seemed to be hanging on her breasts , caressing them, as she efficiently clothed herself.

 alw

I was already dressed and smoking a cigarette in the armchair nearest the bed, scanning the local paper.

 Shit! page 3: “High School Administration Named in Bullying Suit” .  A kid had his head dunked in the toilet for wearing a tee shirt that announced ‘atheism rules!”. We’d met with the mother and the child, found them to be rather contentious---both the lawyer mother and the bratty kid----but were hopeful for a settlement of some kind.

 

It was an obnoxious incident. Some young scions of the richest families had done the deed. The boy dunked was a Japanese- American overachiever.  No hint of a B on his scholastic record.

 

“I like watching you dress,” I said, full well knowing that millions of men had said this to women before me. Not many to her , though, I suspected. She smiled and stood up, in black bottom half and alabaster top half, posing with her finger to her lips, as she often did in her job, as school psychiatrist. 

 

“ You know I dress for you, sir!” she said .

“Bullshit,” I pronounced.

 

“Yeah, you are right about that. If you had your way, I would  dress like those little girls of ours, wouldn’t i?” She pulled on  a black blouse. Not a hint of color, today.   

 

“I encourage women to dress as they feel fit to do, and enjoy their choices,” I said

 

“Hm. Yeah , you probably get off on that. “ Hands on hips.

 

“No comment, dear girl,” I said getting up , grabbing my briefcase, handing hers to her.

 

She was about to say something when my phone rang.

 

“Mommy?” she smirked.

mom 

 

Shit, it was. I considered letting it go to voicemail, but mom ‘’didn’t believe in” voicemail, and criticized my manly greeting as “not like you at all!” So I answered it.

 

“James, where are you?” she said.

“Mom, I am at an undisclosed location,” I said, winking at Rena.

“Say hi to Mz. Oblong. I hope she enjoyed the ham last night. I tried to make it just right. But she didn’t eat much. But we had a good girl talk after. When you and your…father…were taking Joseph for a walk..She is a good catch. ‘

 

Mom had never said this about any girl I’d brought home, and especially any ‘woman’.

 

“What’s up?”

“Well, your sister is here. One of her ‘surprise visits’. With that old man, that hippy man. They arrived just a few minutes ago. They’re talking with your father now. Jim, I don’t know what on earth to feed them. They have such picky tastes!” She was in near panic mode, which meant she might soon dip into the sherry to calm down, which would be an utter disaster .

 

“Mom, Rena and I will pick up some stuff on our way to school, drop it off, pick up Dad, and then you and them can have a nice visit. OK?”

 

“thank you so much. Thank you. Don’t get those veggie burgers again, though. Remember last time? They insulted them, wouldn’t eat them! I had to give them to the dog!” In the background I could hear Dad’s booming bonhomie voice…

 

‘IS THAT JAMES? Please, give me the phone!”

azzzz 

 

“Here’s your father , “ she said.

 

 

China doll, alcohol, duality, mortality
Mercury rules you and destiny fools you
Like the plague, with a dangerous wink
And there's no time to think.

 

“Jimbo, we got a big day. The Chinese woman is coming into the office again. I want to get this thing settled. It is making me nervous. I didn’t sleep a wink last night! “

 

I had to hold the cell phone away from my ear. I heard mom in the background say, “oh George, don’t lie, your snoring kept me up all night!”

 

“What? No, don’t listen to her. It was a bad night. Then this dog of yours …he’s not right…he didn’t go on our walk this morning..i think he is sick. We may need to take him in. To the vet’s.”

 

Shit was hitting the fan…

 

Rena was laughing.

The bridge that you travel on goes to the Babylon girlWith the rose in her hairStarlight in the east and you're finally releasedYou're stranded but with nothing to share

Hugging herself on the edge of the bed, laughing almost maniacally, because I’d put the conversation on speakerphone for …support…

 

“I’ll see my mom alone, Jim. Don’t worry..” she managed between paroxysm of giggling

 

“No, dammit!” I told her.

 

“NO!?” Dad said. “No? No vet for the dog? Let him die? Ok. Alright. Here that Eleanor? No vet!”

 

It only got worse from there, the conversation….

 

…………………………………………………….

 

The dog was fine. He barfed up a huge amount of ham he’d stolen from the kitchen counter, unbeknownst to the old folks. He did it under the bed.

 

 You've murdered your vanity, buried your sanity
For pleasure you must now resist
Lovers obey you but they cannot sway you
They're not even sure you exist.
 

 

 

Author tags:

comedy, family, fiction, non fiction

Your tags:

TIP:

Enter the amount, and click "Tip" to submit!
Recipient's email address:
Personal message (optional):

Your email address:

Comments

Type your comment below:
This one wins the Dysfunctionality Award for the week hands down. But being an optimist I know another week will soon be coming!!!
When will you publish this highly erotic stuff?
Getting brought home to meet mom? Watch out, Jimbo, you are entering dangerous waters. I think, like your dad, I have too much "future-shock" which mixed with my past-shock keeps me totally addled. I agree with your mom: I wouldn't give veggie burgers to a dog. R
K, I had to edit the dysfunctionality, due to
that "honor yr parents"
and
"honor & love to yr woman"
stuff..thanks.
HEIDI, i already have, have i not/ ? How would i know how
to publish
something?

GERALD: mom knew sis is a vegetarian. What she didnt realize is
you cannot buy store brand veggie burgers for a Queen Hippy
and her man.
I do love Ms. Oblong... more, more!!!
mz oblong is so conflicted, jmac , that SEX is her only release ..
poor me, hm?
I had a dog that ate too much ham.. barfed it up on the back seat of the car while he was watching the movie Jaws with us at the local drive in.
Your family could have been a popular Tv series.
HUGGG
LINDA: it may yet be. At least an os sitcom.
That doggone dog! What are we going to do about him Jim? He's going to scarf something down one day, that he can't us-scarf, but, I'll leave that to you and your dad. Please give my regards, as usual.
"Your family could have been a popular Tv series."
I agree with Linda.

By publishing I mean "book format"

Doggy Georgie is in real distress(or Josef for that matter) because he did not get the needed attention.

Rated with a doggy bone
I'm so happy you're helping Ms. Oblong with her conflicts, James. It does also appear that you are getting in deep. :-) That dog, damn darling. A winning group of characters here, Georgie, you, Ms. Oblong, the folks. I hope to stay abreast of this plot.
SCANNER, GEORGE SAYS, “ah hlo there. Why do you look like that obnoxious fellow in that ‘big lumbowski’ movie jim showed us the other day? Is this a trick/ you kids and your computers, ach, in my day we had the good old US mail. Love letters? El kept em all. Ah, ok. You seem like a rather hippyish character, but I like hippies, I gotta say. They are very good boys and girls, but they get in trouble once in awhile. I don’t pay much mind to the hippy’s stuff. They just need a good study hall detention

HEIDI: joseph is safely dead, worry not. i am simply bringing him back. Georgie is asleep at my feet, a calm kiddo.
SCANNER, GEORGE SAYS, “ah hlo there. Why do you look like that obnoxious fellow in that ‘big lumbowski’ movie jim showed us the other day? Is this a trick/ you kids and your computers, ach, in my day we had the good old US mail. Love letters? El kept em all. Ah, ok. You seem like a rather hippyish character, but I like hippies, I gotta say. They are very good boys and girls, but they get in trouble once in awhile. I don’t pay much mind to the hippy’s stuff. They just need a good study hall detention

HEIDI: joseph is safely dead, worry not. i am simply bringing him back. Georgie is asleep at my feet, a calm kiddo.
James: So glad! It looks like you found Anne Boleyn's head!
yes KATE & i appropriate d her head cuz she reminded me
of blue blood eleanor, whose ancestry is
back to the settling of salem massachusetts..
roger conant..
Seems you had STATHI STATHI photograph Rena. Well done I say.

Now, on going to meet mom.. HERS. No time to think. Overthinking is a curse. You must just do it as the Nike ad used to say. Use your voicemail voice!

Laughing about the hammy mess under the bed... FUCK! Enough with the ham, now, maybe, finally?
trig, the dog has vomited the ham, and there will be no more
mention of it..i promise...

the dog is sick. fro the ham.

(whoops, sorry..........)

joseph will recover. as will everyone, eventually,but
a mom meeting must be done.
and it will maybe
turn my hair
white!
(that was for chickenmaan0
trig, the dog has vomited the ham, and there will be no more
mention of it..i promise...

the dog is sick. fro the ham.

(whoops, sorry..........)

joseph will recover. as will everyone, eventually,but
a mom meeting must be done.
and it will maybe
turn my hair
white!
(that was for chickenmaan0
You should do up what they call in the movies (and TV land, I presume) a "treatment," and "pitch" it to HBO or PBS as a sophisticated sitcom. You'd get rich and give me a suggester's fee for suggesting it. I'd settle for 10 % of gross. Oh, and I'll waive the fee if you can get me in to play George (I can act, you know).
James? Georgie? Do I smell bad to you? Are you ignoring me? I feels bad. will try to be more interesting, but I have not been with your story for very long, so not sure where wit is appropriate.
James, ham night again? Left overs are great in scalloped potatoes and ham, would you like a recipe? I didn't realize it was an aphrodisiac, hmmm, thoughts I having :)

Oh and the vacant look after sex when your dear Mz. Oblong tries to connect with you, work on that, maybe in front of a mirror. It's easy, just nod and show concern. You'll get more sex.

Emily, don't worry, James always answers comments, he just bounces around sometimes, seems to me. Be patient, he's been Oblongized.
Nudity is a wonderful thing.
Rated.
Hilarious, sexy and thoughtful all at once. Kind of like you, Jimmy Boy.
How on earth did you find Anne Boleyn's head?...I mean,in those days,it was quite a distance to cover,and there hadn't been any deep- freezer-boxes.
Oh,I forgot:The iceberg up there in the Atlantic.
EMILY:
Uncle is feeling terrible about missing your comment.
And he should!
To punish him (since these humans are so into 'right & wrong'),
I ate his slipper.

Once Uncle regained his composure (ha, i love,, just love it when i can get him away from that stupid computer, or those boring books of his, even if he is chasing me with a rolled up newspaper...)
he said,

"Emily,
I am flattered that a writer of yr quality would find pleasure in my silly little stories...ha, "abreast" i hope you stay, regarding the weavings of my plot & the doings of this odd group of characters, most of whom are dead, like mom & dad, or imaginary, like mz. slinky black-stockings.....hopefully going in even deeper, soon..
best,
and deep apologies, but
it WAS that damn georgie's fault!
Jim
Ah dogs. I am so happy you're continuing this very enjoyable tale.