One night, the Jews left.
It was an event no one could have foreseen and few could have imagined. Indeed, intelligence agencies around the world are still baffled now, three years later.
That the Exitus was planned so meticulously yet so secretly is in itself not the staggering part. The massive mind-fuck is that it involved five and a half million people from all ends of the Israeli political spectrum knowing that they will one night, on an agreed date, leave the land - given to the Jews, according to some, by a loving God who had in his infinite glory developed a taste for fucking with his kids - and that they will never return.
The entire Jewish population of Israel was in on the plan––the Mossad's greatest in history. Thousands of planes and boats awaited at the shores and ports. passage was free. A mostly uninhabited island near the west coast of France, to date unmarked on the maps and used for secret military operations by the French Opera Ballet was purchased with monies creatively saved up by printing it and renamed "L'Ile Juif," or Island of the Jews, by an overzealous French minister. In a fit of collective denial, the new arrivals would simply rename it "Israel."
It was a good island. Much better than the original Israel was when the Jews started building it up in the late 19th century, early 20th. Then called Palestine, or really England, it was filled with swamps and surrounded by neighbors who weren't really in cahoots with the whole Hebrew thing. The new island had no such concerns. It was surrounded by water, and neighbored by a friendly France. Although some have argued that in a few decades the new Israel will once again find itself neighboring an Arab state and be attacked. But for the Jews, a few decades of peace and quiet seemed a lifetime, especially when fresh pastries can be delivered daily from Paris and travel time to New York could be cut by five hours, and the plan was put into motion.
The Jews arrived on the island on December 23rd, 2012 at 5am, and the old Israel was left barren, empty, silent. 5 million Jews have transferred themselves to an island off of the coast of France, and the rest committed suicide.
Festivities, tears and oceans of semen flowed through the Arab world. The entire Middle East was declared a no-fly zone for weeks due to the amount of bullets fired into the air. But these were bullets of joy, not of sadness. The Middle Eastern happy place was the place to be. As the Jews set sail on the daunting task of building an infrastructure in the new Israel, sons and daughters of old refugees poured into Tel Aviv, Haifa and other cities, happily looting electronic stores and cafes, carrying televisions and coffee machines into random apartments. First come, first serve, he who enters a pad keeps it. It was an amazing year for locksmiths.
Three years later, the new Israel, now doing fairly well (certainly better than Greece) began the process of seeking admission into the EU, and signs of conflict again rose.
Because in the old Israel and the Middle East in general, there was confusion. The Jews are gone, and there is no longer an easy excuse for the misery and poverty inflicted daily by pseudo-religious regimes on their prisoners/citizens. Citizens of Middle Eastern countries, the rug of Zion pulled from under their feet, could no longer stomp angrily upon that dusty rug thereby causing the dust to rise, obstruct their vision and make them think their troubles are all caused by the vague notion of a monstrous, circumcised oppressor. Iranian leaders, confused by their inability to blame Zionist occupation for the ills of its people, now began vehemently blaming the Jews for leaving Israel, leaving them without their scapegoat.
And the Arab governments began screaming against Israel's acceptance into the EU. They tried to rally their people. But the people didn't seem to care. They wanted to continue emmigrating to Europe, to America, to opportunity. Israel was eventually admitted to the EU, and when it was, several Arab nations attempted to reenact the glorious war-intro of 1948 when they all attacked those nasty Yids the moment they were granted the country, and they now began flying their fighter jets toward the new Israel, but were confronted by NATO jets who, against Egyptian intelligence's assessment (this assessment was used by all Arab air forces) were not friendly to their cause.
In the years after this skirmish had ended, a new landscape was settled upon. Israel was now a European country. Egypt had since taken over the entire Middle East. Strangely, they woke up late in the morning of that attempted flight to New Israel and had no planes damaged that day. No one was calling the Egyptians an evil occupier, but the situation in the Middle East was still dire. The Zionist oppressor was gone and still there was shit everywhere. Citizens of the Middle East continued to move to Europe, anywhere in Europe they could go. Including the New Israel. Because they just want to have a nice life. They don't care about the fucking Jews. They just want to have a nice life.
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David Lieberman
WendyLynn
Christine Bollerud
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Sheldon The Wonderhorse
Salon.com
Comments
I’m from New Jersey—and although I was not born in New York City nor have I ever lived there, I consider myself a New Yorker.
I’m in town often…and my wife and I enjoy jazz cruises on the Hudson three or four times each year. Truly, at its worst, it is beautiful.
Even the “ugly” parts are gorgeous…dilapidated piers that make great black and white photos, for instance.
(Maybe I will make a few small comments on the post!)
First of all, good luck with it. Too bad things are the way they are, for Israel, the Middle East in general, and for the rest of the world. But instead of learning from our mistakes, we just seem to make more of ‘em.
Don’t see much prospect for real peace in the Middle East--and I understand the frustration that inspired this post.
But I guess the world needs a tinderbox to set off the final fire...and it seems the Middle East is gonna be it.