There are so many ways we handle stress--anywhere from rational problem-solving to frustrated, angry temper. When two people differ greatly in their dysfunctional reactions, though, that's where relationship problems often occur. For example, there's the rigid, hot-headed controller who wants to solve problems a certain way, doesn't listen and can't stand dissention. Then, there's the helpless, frenetic, nervous talker. When these two are in the stressful situation together, we get brief fireworks followed by withdrawal.

When two of the first (rigid) type get together, the fireworks last longer.When two of the second (helpless) type get together, they are at a  loss. The best is when one person, at least, is understanding, patient, can listen and ask how to be of help and then they problem-solve together.

My point is that it's not just how we react to stress, it's how others around us do and how that interaction plays out.