"I just can't help myself." "I start and I can't stop." "It's like something comes over me." "I couldn't do.....I don't know why." These are some of the comments people make when they engage in compulsive behaviors. Yes, it does feel like the behavior, habit, or even certain moods come on,… Read full post »

Things aren't what they seem. People vary so much from one situation to another. A businessman protrays the calm, intelligent exterior of a successful leader. A model glows with joy around her family. A senior citizen jokes good-naturedly with friends. All that is surface behavior. The businessman is… Read full post »

A beautiful little girl sits in my office telling me sweetly about how "bad" she is at home. She pushes her little sister, yells at her mother and refuses to help. She's frustrated at school and doing badly. When asked about her parents' separation and their mental health problems, she cries. Sh… Read full post »

There's a salon at my house the first Monday of each month, when I'm not traveling. Our topic was health, self-control and will power this time. Here's a little summary of our discussion.

So, there's overeating, which we all know has a lot to do& Read full post »

My friend quit her 2nd job because it was taking a toll on her health and extra money isn't worth it. My husband went out of retirement to work part-time for awhile because he missed feeling productive in the manner of earning a paycheck. I love working part-time because I feel… Read full post »

How much space does a good relationship require? Parents who smoother their children with constant protection and indulgence ruin them. Spouses or partners who enable their mate to self-destruct with substances, overeating, compulsive spending or other bad behaviors ruin them and their relations… Read full post »

My friends stayed here for six days while the wife started to recover from surgery. We chose candidates for scholarships in my late mother's honor in two locations. We provided a week's worth of food for a woman on a small limited income. We're not unique. My neighbor does tons of… Read full post »

The parent in the supermarket screams at the little child, "If you don't stop running around, you're going to get it." Then, the child continues to run around, the parents screams and fusses, nothing really happens and the child learns to enjoy the power of annoying the parent. This pattern continues… Read full post »

Do you ever get tired of hearing people whine, make excuses and blame others for their mistakes and problems? It's like "the devil made me do it." Or their mother, your father, your lack of a father, your boss, etc. made them do it. Sure, bad influences, crazy-making mind games, abuse,… Read full post »

Thinking about the many new amputees going through the trauma of loss, pain, reorientation and life transition and hoping that they will learn to survive, cope and live well brings such a perspective to many of life's other problems.

For example, I'm aware of several marital disappointments going on… Read full post »

How do teenagers turn into cruel, evil, terrorist monsters? Did they never develop conscience , or was it erased, or transformed by brainwashing into distorted war against perceived enemies? We can only guess.

 From criminal cases I've examined, I can only say, "all of the above" is a possi… Read full post »

Today, at lunch, a friend and I mentioned spirituality as a general sense of awe, whether in a beautiful church or knowing in crisis that one's deep, inner sense of self is still safe. Music does it, too. 

Later, the media informed everyone about the Boston marathon bombing. It's reminiscent of… Read full post »

Here we go again with another set of divorced parents dead set to battle in court over the custody of a child. One parent, as usual, is more pushy and prone to brainwash the child into believing the worst of the other parent. The other parent tries to cope and interact… Read full post »

Just within one day, I have here in my life two cases of near death. One is a dear friend, mostly  happy, talented, smart, pretty, and in love with her family. She had a brain aneuysm and is hospitalized as I write. Hopefully, she'll do well in surgery and recuperate well. She… Read full post »

Today, I went to a lecture on health care. It was inocuous. The physician who wrote a book informed us that the U.S. medical system is 17th in the world. It is broken, wasteful, expensive and disorganized. He mentioned lots of fruitless attempts to work within a bad system, like doing… Read full post »

We psychologists evaluate people for their stability, emotional safety and maturity with regard to handling firearms. They need our report or letter of approval to go to police academy, become a security guard, or something like that, especially if they've already had a history of any kind of gu… Read full post »

Don't you just love it when you have a rabble-rousing, stimulating, interesting conversation with a friend, or someone you met at a party, or even someone in your family? How often does that happen with your spouse or significant other? If you're lucky, often. If you still do after many years,… Read full post »

My last post got cut off, so here's the post.

It really hurts when a little boy acts up at home, at school and in the neighborhood, then gets labeled ODD-Oppositional Defiant Disorder. The mom says, "He has ODD." But, folks, it's not a disease. You don't "have" it. It's not… Read full post »

It really hurts when a little boy acts up at home, at school and in the neighborhood, then gets labeled ODD-Oppositional Defiant Disorder. The mom says, "He has ODD." But, folks, it's not a disease. You don't "have" it. It means "misbehavior.& Read full post »

The boyfriend flirts with another woman in front of his wife and behind her back. The wife talks to her best guy frined for an hour, instead of spending time with her husband. Couples snap and pick, complain and criticize each other. One friend invites another friend to her house in… Read full post »

I see so many almost-successful people. They sabotage or shy away from the very next accomplishment which would improve their chances of achieving their supposed goals. There's the depressed and anxious young woman who avoids her coping skill exercises and the activities which will mak… Read full post »

It's been said that behind every lie is a truth. For example, the kid who lied that  he didn't smoke weed  wanted his parents to know one truth--that he wants them to think he's law-abiding and respectable and not to get in trouble. The child in a custody evaluation who says… Read full post »

Like one of my former posts, I'm thinking about the choices potentially retired people make. Most people of a certain age retire gracefully and manage to live on whatever income they have. However, there are so many people who can't afford to retire that older folks are  working longer if they… Read full post »

I was talking with a sociology professor about deviance briefly today. People label as deviant those who don't conform to usual societal norms. That would include many mentally ill, criminal, and annoying, eccentric folks but also great minds who make unusual discoveries, engage in new… Read full post »

Trust is the basis of all good relationships. Even love isn't enough without trust. Yet, no one is totally reliable, and no one remembers everything said or never chnages her/his mind. Humans are inconsistent,fallible, make mistakes, and change. So, there needs to be some tolerance, flexibility and e… Read full post »