Ilya Shambat

Ilya Shambat
Melbourne, VIC, Australia
November 21
Adda Enterprises
Born in Russia, family moved to America when I was 12. Got a degree from University of Virginia at 18. Worked for Oracle, translated four books of classical Russian poety, was part of San Francisco and Washington, DC poetry and music scene. Good friends with San Francisco's own Persephone's Bees and acquainted with Patch Adams. Currently married with children, residing in Australia and working on a clean energy technology implementation.


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APRIL 27, 2012 11:02PM

Parenting and Princesses

Rate: 2 Flag
In academic and popular psychology there has been a lot of attack on the women that get termed as "princesses." This attack is wrong, and for a very good reason.

What is a princess? A princess is a woman - typically a young woman - whose parents loved her and took care of her. That is a good practice and one that should be rewarded rather than attacked. There should be a motivation for parents to love their children, and for that parental love to lead to good outcomes. It is better that parents love their children than not love their children, and this positive practice deserves to be incentivized.

Yes, there are many people whose parents had been less loving who have envy of people whose parents had been more loving. In the same way, many people who are poor envy people who are rich. The constructive solution to wealth inequality is not making the wealthy poorer; it is making the poor wealthier. And the constructive solution to parenting inequality is not attacking the loving parents but making other parents more loving.

The attacks on some women being princesses should be dealt with in the same way as are attacks on some people being rich. The problem is not with the loving parents; the problem is that many other parents are not as loving as they need to be. To reward and incentivize parental love - and confront the lack of it - would do wonders for everyone. And the more parents are loving, the better the lot of the children and consequently adults.

Being a loving parent is not a matter of resources; it is a matter of attitude. A poor parent can be a loving parent as much as can a wealthy parent. Parents in all social mileus should be loving, and that attitude should be rewarded. And this will lead to more people being brought up in a loving environment and more people knowing how to love.

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love, envy, princess, parenting, family

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I love this, and people need to have more tools available to them to learn how to parent. To many, parenting is an accidental pregnancy. It should be a choice as in anything that we 'want' to do. I agree with your princess acessment! I have three granddaughters and they are princesses, and loved as such. I had two boys, and yes they are wonderful too!