So. Yeah. It’s been a while since I posted. I’ve been busy. I have a life. You have a life. I thought we were both going along swimmingly. Well, that is until this week. Apparently some of you need me to explain the facts of life to you.

This post is flat out NSFW – which means don’t fuckin’ look at it at work. Some of these links might just get your ass in all kinds of trouble.

Yeah. I can see the look of confusion on your face. Mixed with a small amount of curiosity and revulsion. Lookit!… Read full post »

Y’all know I’m not a vain woman. Lord, vanity got kicked to the kerb about the same time my eyebrows fell out. You can’t think you’re all that when you don’t have an eyebrow to raise in disdain at lesser mortals. Not that I don’t think I’m better than you &rs… Read full post »

You'd probably not be surprised to discover that I don't have a lot of friends. I mean sure, I have friends. I'm not The Cipher in the Snow by any means. I have 331 friends of Facebook at last count. What I don't have are a lot of good close lifelong… Read full post »

Yeah. I know you're thinking "We already heard about Hostess, Surly." Bully for you. I'm not the town crier. I'm not here to tell you that Hostess is going bankrupt, or to debate whether or not the Twinkie is really dead. Sure, sure. Someone will probably buy it,/… Read full post »

Since we've already established I'm all good with sex, sexy, and sexually deviant, we'll skip past the part where I clarify my street cred on the subject and that I'm all about the live and let live, and get to the heart of the matter.… Read full post »

Get your mind out of the gutter. I'm not talking about you and me getting wet and naked. Lord knows no one wants to see that happen. And it's not that I'm worried about one of us dropping the soap, although Dave does have some hesitation and would prefer if I… Read full post »

 (Author's note: This post was originally posted on 09/09/2009. It is being reposted on the anniversary of my sister's passing.)

 Parrish 'n' Me

 As I have mentioned in previous posts, my sister Parrish passed away from brain cancer two years ago.  Two years ago today i… Read full post »

Your aunt and I would like to give you a gift for the ages. "Marry well and often." You heard it here first.

In October of 1989 my favourite uncle, Corb, wrote me a letter than included this sage wisdom. Seventeen years later he would attend my first wedding to my… Read full post »

I woke up Sunday morning feeling a little bit more than worse for wear. Word to those who live at sea level - drinking at high altitudes gives you a bitch of a hangover. Normally I can drink like the girl from good Irish stock that I am, but I've been… Read full post »

Okay. So I'm not sporting a lot of street cred on the food blogger front. I know this. My recipe card collection has a small following of fans who get my romance with offensive food photography. Many of them, however, may be surprised to discover that even with my love for… Read full post »

Y'all know I'm not one for the cheesy Hallmark holidays. My mother has become accustomed to being denied a bouquet of flowers and a Whitman's Sampler on Mother's Day, and well, when refer to your father as Fuck Face, Father's Day is pretty much a no brainer. While I wouldn't mind… Read full post »

Um. You know, I can hear you. You're saying to yourself "Good God she's going to go on about her dead sister again. Yeah, yeah, we know already. You have a sister and she's dead. That doesn't make you special. This isn't a meme that's going to go viral Surly. Give… Read full post »

I don't know much about playing cards. I can play a mean game of Go Fish!, but for the most part the extent of my knowledge and experience playing card games is limited to pushing buttons on a video poker machine. However, it should be noted that I did pay for… Read full post »

Okay. So really. I just don't get it. I don't get this whole Kardashian thing. I really don't. I've tried to watch their shows, but for the life of me I can't find a single redeeming thing about them. They are forever bickering, whinging, or talking absolute drivel. That is… Read full post »

So the other night Dave and I went to see Elvis Costello perform. This was a much awaited and anticipated night out. After all it was Elvis, the man who Dave fully understands I will leave his sorry ass for at the drop of a guitar pick. There's just… Read full post »

Years ago my cousin Daniela would say "You're such an adult!" with the same accusatory tone that you'd say "You're such an asshole!" Being an adult was the worst possible thing of which she could conceive. For the most part I would have to agree with her. Being an adult… Read full post »

So, as most of y'all know I work from home. No, I'm not some middle aged guy in my underwear doing telemarketing out of my mother's basement you smart ass. I work in a nice home office in my pajamas and fuzzy slippers with labretards snoring at my feet. To give… Read full post »

So, as I was laying on the massage table at the Korean bathhouse this afternoon, I started thinking about my friend Molly's father. No, not in that dirty "happy finish" kind of way you're thinking. Sheesh. You people really need to get cable TV. Lord. It's Sunday. I need to bitch… Read full post »

This is a story I wrote after the passing of a friend that I was subsequently asked to read at her memorial service.  Stella, affectionately known as Christopher Robin amongst her friends for her often childlike innocence, was a professional athlete who in her twenties held the world record for… Read full post »

I remember watching one of those news shows, like 48 Hours or Dateline, where they were talking about a pair of brothers who were being reunited after 50 years or something like that, and the whole time I kept thinking “How does that happen? How do you get estranged from a… Read full post »

I like a bargain just as much as the next person. I'm not an extreme coupon kinda gal like my friend Jodi who can go to the market, buy $200 worth of stuff and walk out with the store owing her money. She also tends to leave in her wake a… Read full post »

Well first let me get the pleasantries out of the way and wish you a Happy New Year. Let's all pause for a moment while we pretend that this greeting actually carried real emotion and that either one of us has a vested interest in how the other's year is going… Read full post »