and thank you

wrote this for my sister back on Oct 16th two years ago. She's not blood related to me, but we have been friends since college, and I've known her for longer than I've not.

I had to sit here and think what this poem was about originally... I think it… Read full post »

this is not what I came here for
you promised me amber waves of grain bitch!
where is my sea to shining sea?!

....my electric torch forever burning?

I never paid for this country,
don't own it, don't smell it, don't belong to it in any sense
but I disown it, disown you completely… Read full post »

or do they act

the speech winds itself around the truth
caresses it, fondles it, placates it

and I am on his lap lolling as he's talking to someone else
not a care in the world, he is mine

until he his hers, and hers, and hers, and hers
the random chattering of voices… Read full post »

they circled and circled in joy
in frenzy, in lack of anything better to do
drunk revelers at a orgy of words
a glut of projections and possibilities

and we are all stuck here, in the sussing out
in the finding

that we are not alone at all

can i tell of the splash, the sheer sheet of water, the drenching wetness as it soaked through my scrubs?
of your face in that moment, the rage and helplessness?

how about your immediate friendship the next day?
the theories you shared that rocked me to the core with how deeply they did… Read full post »

and yeah, I know I draw about as well as I sing. Let's see you do better! :D Read full post »

What i shouldn't want
the heat, the energy of rage
but this is war
lust and annihilation
the utter consumption of me
to birth a child
the saddling of obligation
of your triumph inside my body
is it any wonder i wish to kill you
to be killed by you
plowed and planted
harvested and barren
the seasons march on
and w… Read full post »

door still open from letting the dogs out
bags packed, pills popped
thoughts thought, should I answer that email?

no time
always no time
but this too shall pass

and I will be old and sleepy
sitting alone in a quiet room
books no longer of interest, just memories
and dreams of things done and not done… Read full post »

i couldn't hear you
you were talking too much

the in an out of your breath
a rush, a headlong flight into
trepidation, predation
nervously devouring us all as we listened

to you prattle on about the weather
the thes ands she hes
blah, blah, blah
where are you in all of this mess?

Read full post »

i love you
i roll you over and over in my thoughts
the tongue of my mind caressing the flavor that is you

no rhyme or reason today
just endless lapping of watery winter at my eyes
the melting of spring into something more harsh

I love you i say
but not where anyone can hear… Read full post »

my emotions for you are limitless in their lack of existence
you are profoundly boring, you and your ilk
seeking to dominate when you find no other man about
always quick to say shut up and sit down
what do you know? (you are a woman is what is implied)

of course you wouldn't see… Read full post »

  Read full post »

H is getting out of jail April 2nd. She's the smartest one (including Karen) and most determined one on that side of the family. She always wanted to be a doctor and instead she ended up a drug dealer. I can only guess that it was the most lucrative option open… Read full post »

Oh, say, can you see, by the dawn's early light,
     Sunny came home to her favorite room
What so proudly we hail'd at the twilight's last gleaming?
     Sunny sat down in the kitchen
Whose broad stripes and bright stars, thro' the perilous fight,
  &nbs… Read full post »

1. Your main trait: dogged
2. The quality you like best in a man: kindness
3. The quality you like best in a woman: kindness
4. Your main flaw:  dogged
5. Last time you cried: a day or two ago at lunch
6. Ideal job: psych nurse
7. Scent of a place: my cat/dog funk home
8. Beloved… Read full post »

Riding in the car, like Rita's last poem, I never know how tired I am until I try to drive- the road buckling underneath me in dark damp waves, just let me make it home please, let me ride through this and make it home. The music is registering as abnormally… Read full post »

you were perfect
every note, line, and curve
I was awkward, ungainly, more like than not to say the unthinkable

and you sang there shining like the sun

first one is early 80s second one late 80s ...damn I miss big hair

you were a god to me
snuggled in my bed with the pesos you sent
from your year long adventure down south
covers over my head to capture their scent better
metal, gasoline, and sweet salty ocean

i could be on the boat with you, then
my feet small and bare planted on the plastic spiky… Read full post »

so, the bogeyman came to visit my floor
rode on the back of a patient
or really
in his chest
ticking time bomb
came out of his mouth
ticking ticker
but it wasn't the heart
it was the lung
stuck and stymied
pulsing
pulse falling, falling, falling
but you looked ok, walking out to the ambulance
we all wondered why… Read full post »

it's like I finally got that today
been on OS dicking around for a few years thinking this was indeed part of my reality

and it's... not

it's wonderful, and fascinating- absolutely.
I'm not giving it up anytime soon,
but has more akin to gaming buddies than being colleagues or friends with a person.… Read full post »

understand it, uh no...love it...yeah
it probably doesn't hurt that she's cute as hell

do not want to go
obligation family love
do not want to stay
do not want much of anything these days
except crap:
bright colored cloth
shiny things
perfume.
stealing these things from myself
from security and what could be
i give away everything for a handful of beans
and wonder where this vegetative state migh… Read full post »