My Heart Speaks Here

One Realization, One Memory, One Story at a Time


April 02
I'll tell you about my journey while I'm telling myself, rereading and saying aha! yes! and that is what it was like! Words have magic feet. I like to see them dance. The rest is to be kept quiet because it is sacred. How I watch people and love them never wondering if we'll agree. I love them because they are. I believe in words but they aren't everything. I'll take harsh speech and good deeds over eloquence and little helpful action in the world. There's shades of gray through everything which is one of many reasons I pray, "Thy Will not mine be done," trying not to cross my fingers but keep my eyes and heart open.


Heidibeth's Links
DECEMBER 5, 2010 8:16PM

Oryoki Bowl's OC - Serenaded by my love

My mom knew I would marry a gamer (D&D type) before I did.  She sent herself a letter with his name on it to prove out the timing of her Aha! moment to any doubters.  That letter is in our wedding album, unopened, next to the news print announcement.… Read full post »

DECEMBER 4, 2010 11:31PM

To Honor a Teacher - Open Call

After reading today's posts by A Persistent Muse and rjheart, I thought of this Open Call, "To Honor a Teacher."


"The education and training of children is among the most meritorious acts of humankind..." - ‘Abdu’l-Bahá

In honor of A Persistent Muse's dedication to her coun… Read full post »

DECEMBER 2, 2010 11:08PM

listening/traces of now

it's not much, this slow motion dance after first snow
under blankets, letting Wailin' Jenny's wrap around my shoulders
daddy asleep or reading quiet in our bedroom
let me sleep four hours earlier

I sit, listening to children braille late evening, put away clothes
replay movies around the house made… Read full post »

DECEMBER 1, 2010 9:39PM


I've written notes
in my mind
for weeks
I was going to tell a story
like children do
compose it for breakfast
like grown ups do
with morning coffee

I was going to write a dance
then you might know how much I love her
how she lived in… Read full post »

NOVEMBER 30, 2010 6:07PM

Five Minutes in a Small Town


“Don't look, I'm making you a present.” Derrik looks up from his cross legged huddle in the middle of my living room. He bends back over his project, blond hair falling across his forehead, covering his pale face. I've never seen Derrik look lonely. I've never… Read full post »

NOVEMBER 29, 2010 7:41PM

50,520 words later...!

 I decided to take on the NaNoWriMo challenge.

Every day since November 1st I've written a little more of a first draft of my first book.  The only exception was the day of Joe's funeral.

I finished a today!

By the time I was wrapping up yesterday's writing, I could see… Read full post »

Last Monday, a creeping unpleasant feeling worked it's way behind my eyes. This wisp of foulness increased slowly but steadily until, by Wednesday, I was trying not be sour about the Holiday weekend.

In our home, traditional Holidays were ignored. We enjoyed other people's hospitality,… Read full post »

walking sideways

baking apple cider cake/writing because I have to

messing up knock knock jokes

dog sitting/grandpa checking/too much just this moment/okay before and after now

precious boy follows me around the kitchen, standing still in my path

my smile forms in half between prayers I forgot to of… Read full post »

NOVEMBER 24, 2010 12:55PM

Coming Through

I am
sun dust

of me

no reflection
time sleeps
ash hangs
beneath billows

ringlet rainbow descends

palace of swirls
I fly
see nothing
save purple

sky streaks

splashing down
dusk settles
heavy… Read full post »

NOVEMBER 22, 2010 5:23PM

Shave your legs? Why?

I woke up this morning wondering about the history of leg hair removal for women in the U.S.  I did a brief google search, "history of leg shaving."  From what I can tell, popular opinion lays responsibility for grown, female human's (primarily Anglo-Saxon at the time) extra grooming "needs… Read full post »

NOVEMBER 21, 2010 6:37PM


Our desktop computer seized up in the middle of his library game, again.  When he wandered past me on his way to the kitchen, I remembered.  I got him dressed while he slept, we spent the morning out.  Not a single hug or snuggle today. 

I called his name three… Read full post »

wrapped in our universe

between musical notes

gliding along time

a dance for tea


invisible swords

heroes illusion

pirate evolves

surprise attack


whistle out, whistle in

wide eyed rapture

wanders tip toeing

seeing beyond hours


curled on mother's lap

melody in whispers

gold… Read full post »

NOVEMBER 19, 2010 1:54AM

Children - Little Kate's Open Call


drip glue

give gifts

draw glittery rainbows






tell stories

cry fast

love love



cloud unicorns

mothers eyes

sidewalk stones


a long way


daddy's arms

hidden cake


cloud horses



believeRead full post »

NOVEMBER 16, 2010 3:05PM

Even When

Even when they love you, they can make your childhood a living landmine.

Even when they treasure your being, they can make your life hell in the space between smiles, in the hours of their own hell, when blind imitation of their fathers and mothers leaks out unbidden (they were never… Read full post »

NOVEMBER 15, 2010 10:01PM

No Title

Last week I posted "Page 1," a piece to be critiqued at next my writing class.  Below is the same piece with major revisions based on the feed back I received.  It is a draft of page 1 of a book for young adults.  


I wielded swiftly crafted spoken… Read full post »

NOVEMBER 14, 2010 7:21PM

Open call - Funny, Embarrassing 5

In real life, I'm not so darn serious as one might think based on most of my writing.  True, I don't understand small talk or know how to engage in a dialogue about cloudy skies, but I laugh often, sing off key for no reason (other than I can't sing… Read full post »

NOVEMBER 13, 2010 9:24PM

Lezlie's Open Call - Annoyed?

I was going to sit this one out.  Lately I have been content.  Yes, I get testy with my older son when he sings the same three words over and over for more than ten minutes.  I'm not thrilled when my younger son thrusts his gameboy advance in my face so… Read full post »

NOVEMBER 12, 2010 7:10PM

Old Woman

On our way out of the grocery store parking lot, I watched an old woman begin to cross Main street.  One foot stepped forward, barely leaving pavement, then she moved her bag one step forward, followed by the next foot. 
I recognized her.  My husband offered her a
Read full post »
NOVEMBER 10, 2010 9:07PM

21 & Cool For a Night

This is a revision of an early post titled Improv and Burgers.


I was at the raised round booth with a solid wood table at a back corner of Yesterdays Bar & Grill with my improv troupe.

Usually we met in someone's apartment,  a place payed for… Read full post »

NOVEMBER 8, 2010 10:44PM

Page 1

For our weekly writing class, we've been asked to bring the first page of a story or book we're working on.  This is what I'm planning to share for critique.  My intended audience is young adult.


Between shadows, darting through the debris of a verbal explosion, sheltered beneath tra… Read full post »

NOVEMBER 4, 2010 10:58PM

Dear Joe,

I'm a grown up now, a mother of two boys you would have liked if I had thought to get back in touch after I moved away.  I've been married over eleven years, traveled around in an RV, lived in Mississippi, Texas, New Mexico, Arkansas and Illinois.  My mother and father… Read full post »

NOVEMBER 3, 2010 12:29AM



Awake beneath snug bedding,  small arm stretched across my shoulders, sleepy child sighs on either side (beds grew cold in dark morning), auntie bear eyes me, upside down, bent between pillows.

Strong Costa Rica decaf, decorated with heavy whipping cream, first hot sip, I bow t… Read full post »

OCTOBER 28, 2010 12:25PM

Hedgehog, Grace and Gluten Free Cake

Every other Saturday, as part of our Children's Theater Company, I teach a virtues class for five to eight year old children.  They'll be performing The Ugly Duckling, a musical, in February.  Between now and then, every Saturday, from 1-5pm they study a virtue found in the play, eat snack,… Read full post »

I, a newlywed, alone in our 2nd floor apartment one afternoon, felt adventurous (though sadly uninformed) and domestic.   Catfish couldn't be too hard to prepare...right?

Pan on burner, add fish, a bit of oil, heat, all set. 

In no time, a dancing

Read full post »
OCTOBER 25, 2010 10:15PM

Oy Momma

Can you feel that first wave of tired, the point when rest would come easily, sweetly, where you'd sleep through the night, and wake wonderfully refreshed, ready to take on a new day?

Is no one else needing your attention? Does your husband have bedtime under control, smoothly transitioning tired… Read full post »