My Heart Speaks Here

One Realization, One Memory, One Story at a Time

heidibeth

heidibeth
Birthday
April 02
Bio
I'll tell you about my journey while I'm telling myself, rereading and saying aha! yes! and that is what it was like! Words have magic feet. I like to see them dance. The rest is to be kept quiet because it is sacred. How I watch people and love them never wondering if we'll agree. I love them because they are. I believe in words but they aren't everything. I'll take harsh speech and good deeds over eloquence and little helpful action in the world. There's shades of gray through everything which is one of many reasons I pray, "Thy Will not mine be done," trying not to cross my fingers but keep my eyes and heart open.

MY RECENT POSTS

Heidibeth's Links

Salon.com
NOVEMBER 12, 2010 7:10PM

Old Woman

On our way out of the grocery store parking lot, I watched an old woman begin to cross Main street.  One foot stepped forward, barely leaving pavement, then she moved her bag one step forward, followed by the next foot. 
 
I recognized her.  My husband offered her a
Read full post »
NOVEMBER 10, 2010 9:07PM

21 & Cool For a Night

This is a revision of an early post titled Improv and Burgers.

 

I was at the raised round booth with a solid wood table at a back corner of Yesterdays Bar & Grill with my improv troupe.

Usually we met in someone's apartment,  a place payed for… Read full post »

NOVEMBER 8, 2010 10:44PM

Page 1

For our weekly writing class, we've been asked to bring the first page of a story or book we're working on.  This is what I'm planning to share for critique.  My intended audience is young adult.

 

Between shadows, darting through the debris of a verbal explosion, sheltered beneath tra… Read full post »

NOVEMBER 4, 2010 10:58PM

Dear Joe,

I'm a grown up now, a mother of two boys you would have liked if I had thought to get back in touch after I moved away.  I've been married over eleven years, traveled around in an RV, lived in Mississippi, Texas, New Mexico, Arkansas and Illinois.  My mother and father… Read full post »

NOVEMBER 3, 2010 12:29AM

Timeless

  1029001652

Awake beneath snug bedding,  small arm stretched across my shoulders, sleepy child sighs on either side (beds grew cold in dark morning), auntie bear eyes me, upside down, bent between pillows.

Strong Costa Rica decaf, decorated with heavy whipping cream, first hot sip, I bow t… Read full post »

OCTOBER 28, 2010 12:25PM

Hedgehog, Grace and Gluten Free Cake

Every other Saturday, as part of our Children's Theater Company, I teach a virtues class for five to eight year old children.  They'll be performing The Ugly Duckling, a musical, in February.  Between now and then, every Saturday, from 1-5pm they study a virtue found in the play, eat snack,… Read full post »

I, a newlywed, alone in our 2nd floor apartment one afternoon, felt adventurous (though sadly uninformed) and domestic.   Catfish couldn't be too hard to prepare...right?

Pan on burner, add fish, a bit of oil, heat, all set. 

In no time, a dancing

Read full post »
OCTOBER 25, 2010 10:15PM

Oy Momma

Can you feel that first wave of tired, the point when rest would come easily, sweetly, where you'd sleep through the night, and wake wonderfully refreshed, ready to take on a new day?

Is no one else needing your attention? Does your husband have bedtime under control, smoothly transitioning tired… Read full post »

OCTOBER 24, 2010 9:58PM

Childhood Lessons

1 - When baking, especially in a group, if you have to sneeze, turn to your sleeve.  Do NOT aim for the ceiling.

2 - Don't use big words at school.  Class mates may accuse you of showing off.

3 - Glass shower doors are best opened with your hand.  Feet… Read full post »

OCTOBER 22, 2010 7:42PM

Seeking True Love Letters (in progress)


Dear Mom and Dad,

I am

your sunshine

hope

light

 

I am

your trigger

anger

plight

 

I need

your acceptance

respect

delight

 

 I hide from

your backhand

flat hand

fight

 

 Love,

Abused child

 

Dear ARead full post »

OCTOBER 21, 2010 10:00PM

Clever Girl?

 

I saw my mom head out the back door of our garden apartment carrying a full laundry basket and a box of Tide. In a brilliant flash of mischievous genius, I darted to the back door, pulled the security bar across it's knob and waited with high pitched delight.… Read full post »

OCTOBER 20, 2010 8:09PM

An Open Letter to Parents, Part 1

After reading a recent blog post I published, titled, "Snapshots of Broken, 1991-92", my mom felt finally free to write her experience during those days.  I had no idea she was respectfully waiting for me.   She's given me permission

Read full post »

Distracted, spacey and almost content.  Uninteresting but talkative.  

I'm learning how to write while young boys scatter legos, flip through glossy instruction booklets, sing the repetitive songs dancing in their thoughts.

Learning as in haven't learned it yet but I'm working at deve… Read full post »

OCTOBER 19, 2010 12:09AM

Changes

Unedited letters given a chance to speak

sad

content with changes

hopeful

ready for long afternoons quietly waiting

for take off

lyrics ignored for a song's sound

feeling on my skin

in my  jaw

now small boys know

(the first part)

held back tears

leaped into his arms

remembering… Read full post »

 
 
 
Profound insights about education.  
 
 
 
 
 
 
OCTOBER 15, 2010 6:57PM

Wisps to Love By

When I scroll down my email contact list, I see "Jessica Harries".  She took her own life a year ago.  From a distance I watched her become a beautiful adult.  I wish I'd tried to spend more time with her (I tell myself I was too busy).  Soon after her death… Read full post »

OCTOBER 13, 2010 6:33PM

Dairy! Dairy! Dairy!

 

Before I get started praising the wonders of dairy, and telling you how overjoyed I am to cross off my list of "can't eats" anything derived from cow's milk, I must give you fair warning. We are one of those families.

If one day you… Read full post »

OCTOBER 12, 2010 11:33PM

Snapshots of Broken, 1991-92

What is torn can often be mended, but not always.  I was lucky.

 

Dusk came to the dock.  In his parent's lake house, one lamp on a night stand lit up a corner over cream colored carpet.  My toes sank slightly on my way back to his bed.  The TV… Read full post »

OCTOBER 12, 2010 12:22AM

The Short Version

 

When I set up shop outside Starbucks at 5:15pm, I was hopeful, but over an hour later, nothing worth posting had happened on the screen.

Around 6:45pm, on my way to Goodwill to purchase a couple pairs of jeans, when I looked up at a gorgeous spray of pink… Read full post »

Editor’s Pick
OCTOBER 10, 2010 8:37PM

Everyday Illusions

If you saw a thirty something mother and father pushing a well used umbrella stroller along the sidewalk, accompanied by their two young boys, this would be average. 

If neither boy was in the stroller, this would still be common as kids get tired of sitting and like… Read full post »

OCTOBER 9, 2010 11:32PM

Thirteen in the 80's


 

remote control cord

stretches from television to ez chair

I eat canned spinach

dripping forkfuls

memorize TV guide "weeknights until 10pm"

 

mom's bed in our dining room

aged green blanket

stretched and wrinkly

next to a typewriter

story half written 

 

latchkey love

table… Read full post »

OCTOBER 8, 2010 10:28PM

Aeysha

 This is how I found my way into writing day 24 of 30 in 30 this afternoon.  

Think of a way to capture time gone by, take a hold of it by the tail and pull it screeching and flailing back in to the rooms of your conscious mind, orRead full post »

Here I am outside Starbucks.  I have fresh decaf loaded with cream, a borrowed copy of Bird by Bird By Anne Lamott, a 3.5oz bar of "Organic & fairly traded chocolate caramel crunch *with sea salt*" and my laptop.

This is my out of the house, bask in the… Read full post »

OCTOBER 7, 2010 2:14AM

Thinking Out Loud

 

"I tend not to write about what's currently going on in my life as if writing it will make living it less real."  I wrote this here on OS a few days ago.  I'm now going to contradict myself by telling you, in clear language, what happened this evening.  Read full post »

OCTOBER 5, 2010 7:45PM

Sacred Preparation

"O God, I pray for the willingness to accept the prosperity in my life."

 

The rest area had a playground.

Sun eased in sideways along my shoulders.  

I couldn't have walked any slower to tomorrow.

How long would I linger here, I wondered, as tears fell over… Read full post »