My Heart Speaks Here

One Realization, One Memory, One Story at a Time


April 02
I'll tell you about my journey while I'm telling myself, rereading and saying aha! yes! and that is what it was like! Words have magic feet. I like to see them dance. The rest is to be kept quiet because it is sacred. How I watch people and love them never wondering if we'll agree. I love them because they are. I believe in words but they aren't everything. I'll take harsh speech and good deeds over eloquence and little helpful action in the world. There's shades of gray through everything which is one of many reasons I pray, "Thy Will not mine be done," trying not to cross my fingers but keep my eyes and heart open.


Heidibeth's Links
DECEMBER 20, 2010 8:23PM

Quiet In Between

I begin to wonder about writing every day, or rather posting. Then I tell myself to take a day off, do something else with my free time. But I don't want to. Writing, hitting publish, reading other blogs, commenting, reading comments to my posts and sometimes commenting back, often adding aRead full post »


What follows is a response to Reborn?'s recent Open Call

What they don't tell you about______is...


What they don't tell you about child birth are certain details of recovery. I read “What to Expect When You're Expecting.” I wish I

Read full post »


A few months after Kori moved more than a thousand miles southwest, I learned algebra with my sixteen year old traveling babysitter (brother of a fellow skater), all the way to her new house, above clickety-clack, clickety-clack, one whole earth's rotation.

An evening after dinner, we drove p… Read full post »

Last night as I meditated on J D Smith's courage witnessed poetry challenge, I thought of my parents journey that started over 20 years ago.  I was too tired to start writing then, but words, images and something similar to music regarding their courage lulled me to sleep. When I satRead full post »

DECEMBER 14, 2010 4:29PM

Walking Junior

What follows are a few paragraphs from the middle of my first short story.  Yesterday and this morning, my boys listened eagerly and offered suggestions.  In a way, we've started writing the story together.   We're still writing so this might be all different next week.  Writing fRead full post »

DECEMBER 13, 2010 6:16PM

getting in the groove

If I were to write today
I would say

outside our front door
cold winds blow
below zero

inside our house
dusty towels snuggle against our front and back doors
keeping out brother winds skinny fingers

I… Read full post »

as another departs
when I must say goodbye
until my cage opens
I pray

Aunt Alma, will you hold her hand
show him around
love her like a mother
tell them stories
of how you made your way

Denise, your smile a radiant glow
I dreamed rainbow… Read full post »

DECEMBER 10, 2010 3:03PM

Will you, please?

I stayed up until 4am with you
enchanted by your melodious voice
hanging on every word

I sat so still in your glow
when I dared move, slowly
I uncoiled one limb at a time

I did not wish to say good night… Read full post »

Monday, new Open Salon blogger PonderingJane posted

Our Children Sleep in Bed With Us; Shame On You Supernanny

She earned an EP and several comments, many of them asking detailed questions and sharing concerns about co-sleeping.

Today, she posted

Our Kids Sleep in Bed with us: The AnswersRead full post »

DECEMBER 8, 2010 2:42PM


Edge of my seat
on my knees
pacing pavement
midnight meditation
lullaby rocking
tears falling down

ways to wait
in prayer

DECEMBER 6, 2010 7:42PM

For fun - a day in rhyme

in real time order here's a list

of a sleep in day

wake to news of court room grist

hope my friend will be okay


leave our kitchen upside down

to help cold momma get a seat

in court room D of our downtown

so our friend knows we won't… Read full post »

DECEMBER 5, 2010 8:16PM

Oryoki Bowl's OC - Serenaded by my love

My mom knew I would marry a gamer (D&D type) before I did.  She sent herself a letter with his name on it to prove out the timing of her Aha! moment to any doubters.  That letter is in our wedding album, unopened, next to the news print announcement.… Read full post »

DECEMBER 4, 2010 11:31PM

To Honor a Teacher - Open Call

After reading today's posts by A Persistent Muse and rjheart, I thought of this Open Call, "To Honor a Teacher."


"The education and training of children is among the most meritorious acts of humankind..." - ‘Abdu’l-Bahá

In honor of A Persistent Muse's dedication to her coun… Read full post »

DECEMBER 2, 2010 11:08PM

listening/traces of now

it's not much, this slow motion dance after first snow
under blankets, letting Wailin' Jenny's wrap around my shoulders
daddy asleep or reading quiet in our bedroom
let me sleep four hours earlier

I sit, listening to children braille late evening, put away clothes
replay movies around the house made… Read full post »

DECEMBER 1, 2010 9:39PM


I've written notes
in my mind
for weeks
I was going to tell a story
like children do
compose it for breakfast
like grown ups do
with morning coffee

I was going to write a dance
then you might know how much I love her
how she lived in… Read full post »

NOVEMBER 30, 2010 6:07PM

Five Minutes in a Small Town


“Don't look, I'm making you a present.” Derrik looks up from his cross legged huddle in the middle of my living room. He bends back over his project, blond hair falling across his forehead, covering his pale face. I've never seen Derrik look lonely. I've never… Read full post »

NOVEMBER 29, 2010 7:41PM

50,520 words later...!

 I decided to take on the NaNoWriMo challenge.

Every day since November 1st I've written a little more of a first draft of my first book.  The only exception was the day of Joe's funeral.

I finished a today!

By the time I was wrapping up yesterday's writing, I could see… Read full post »

Last Monday, a creeping unpleasant feeling worked it's way behind my eyes. This wisp of foulness increased slowly but steadily until, by Wednesday, I was trying not be sour about the Holiday weekend.

In our home, traditional Holidays were ignored. We enjoyed other people's hospitality,… Read full post »

walking sideways

baking apple cider cake/writing because I have to

messing up knock knock jokes

dog sitting/grandpa checking/too much just this moment/okay before and after now

precious boy follows me around the kitchen, standing still in my path

my smile forms in half between prayers I forgot to of… Read full post »

NOVEMBER 24, 2010 12:55PM

Coming Through

I am
sun dust

of me

no reflection
time sleeps
ash hangs
beneath billows

ringlet rainbow descends

palace of swirls
I fly
see nothing
save purple

sky streaks

splashing down
dusk settles
heavy… Read full post »

NOVEMBER 22, 2010 5:23PM

Shave your legs? Why?

I woke up this morning wondering about the history of leg hair removal for women in the U.S.  I did a brief google search, "history of leg shaving."  From what I can tell, popular opinion lays responsibility for grown, female human's (primarily Anglo-Saxon at the time) extra grooming "needs… Read full post »

NOVEMBER 21, 2010 6:37PM


Our desktop computer seized up in the middle of his library game, again.  When he wandered past me on his way to the kitchen, I remembered.  I got him dressed while he slept, we spent the morning out.  Not a single hug or snuggle today. 

I called his name three… Read full post »

wrapped in our universe

between musical notes

gliding along time

a dance for tea


invisible swords

heroes illusion

pirate evolves

surprise attack


whistle out, whistle in

wide eyed rapture

wanders tip toeing

seeing beyond hours


curled on mother's lap

melody in whispers

gold… Read full post »

NOVEMBER 19, 2010 1:54AM

Children - Little Kate's Open Call


drip glue

give gifts

draw glittery rainbows






tell stories

cry fast

love love



cloud unicorns

mothers eyes

sidewalk stones


a long way


daddy's arms

hidden cake


cloud horses



believeRead full post »

NOVEMBER 16, 2010 3:05PM

Even When

Even when they love you, they can make your childhood a living landmine.

Even when they treasure your being, they can make your life hell in the space between smiles, in the hours of their own hell, when blind imitation of their fathers and mothers leaks out unbidden (they were never… Read full post »