My Heart Speaks Here

One Realization, One Memory, One Story at a Time

heidibeth

heidibeth
Birthday
April 02
Bio
I'll tell you about my journey while I'm telling myself, rereading and saying aha! yes! and that is what it was like! Words have magic feet. I like to see them dance. The rest is to be kept quiet because it is sacred. How I watch people and love them never wondering if we'll agree. I love them because they are. I believe in words but they aren't everything. I'll take harsh speech and good deeds over eloquence and little helpful action in the world. There's shades of gray through everything which is one of many reasons I pray, "Thy Will not mine be done," trying not to cross my fingers but keep my eyes and heart open.

MY RECENT POSTS

Heidibeth's Links

Salon.com

Since I joined Open Salon last September, I've been considering writing a post where I tell how Sharon, aka Mimetalker, has influenced my life. My first thought was that I should ask permission, then she left this:

 

"13. In
Read full post »

Ann, Thank you for a wonderfully revealing Open Call.  I'm glad to hear all is well.  Looks like you have ample reading material for the rest of the night and probably tomorrow too!

 

1 – I tune people out when they're talking to me (not all the time, but/… Read full post »

JANUARY 25, 2011 1:50PM

Half Nonsense (but only half)

what are you gonna do with all this quiet

hold it at arms length with your face turned away, singing, "nanny nanny boo boo, you can't catch me"

tap it out in free verse

carry it in your pocket for another day only to find quietRead full post »

JANUARY 24, 2011 5:58PM

Aunt Bea - for my son

 

My children don't read most of what I write, but they know other people do. They only read stories about themselves and facebook status updates where I tell that Super Man is in the building as a way of sharing that my son's been in the dress up box and… Read full post »

JANUARY 23, 2011 9:32PM

Talk to me

Indecision is the first clue, then guilt.  Spontaneous creativity that normally makes family life fun begins to fade, replaced by direct, plain spoken instructions like, "Go to your room.  Close the door.  Come out when you're no longer interested in insulting your brother."

I wrote in… Read full post »

JANUARY 21, 2011 12:23PM

Inevitable Unity

We are a sea of bodies
each on a mysterious
winding path 

We are a sea of souls
no separation
no names  

We could reach each other  

I stretch my right arm
heavenward
a ballerina
seeking
I am a line
a wisp of smoke
bending
in morning's
first… Read full post »

JANUARY 20, 2011 6:40PM

Thinking About Caregivers

 

My husband works long hours. So often, days will pass where I am always with my children, when not a single fight or incident between the boys occurs, nor a single break where I am only dancing to the beat of a single drum, my own. When there… Read full post »

JANUARY 19, 2011 5:49PM

Grill Cheese for Lupper

I'm late to the party. I hadn't planned on attending. The words, “grilled cheese” kept flashing across the screen and I kept ignoring them, mostly.

The faintest desire for one of those comfort sandwiches would rise up, but no more so than any wisp of want for one of… Read full post »

 

"Mom, tell me a bed time story, something that really happened."

"Well, when Chile was less than a year old..."

1993 - I live in a single room in a converted hotel.  I'm sound asleep. One morning, some time before my alarm goes off, I feel… Read full post »

JANUARY 17, 2011 4:19PM

Flowers of One Garden

 

 

floating 

in a sea of love 

a fetal form

suspended

between

two worlds 

 

steady beats her heart

 thung  

         thung  

              thung

 

her wings unfold

slowly

on either sid… Read full post »

JANUARY 16, 2011 8:22PM

Thinking

What do you want to write?

Everything.

I want to write every minute just in case I want one back if only in shadows and only for a moment. I know I can't write music, how my spirit arcs and I don't know where I've been.… Read full post »

JANUARY 15, 2011 5:11PM

Surrounded

Have you ever been surrounded by so much beauty, you felt ready to fly?  But then you can't fly, for obvious reasons, so every atom of your being flutters?
 
I'm there.
 
I'm taking a quiet break from our Children's Theater Company rehearsal.  The click and hum of espresso machine… Read full post »
JANUARY 14, 2011 11:44PM

Aunt Alma

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Spirit can not be encased
like art
souls
glide
beside our eyes
on wings spread wide as the sea
small as nothing
living 
in two worlds
 
We carried each other
 
Beside winter's snow laden pine
I call your name
JANUARY 13, 2011 7:03PM

Can Open Salon Improve Your Writing?

I can't answer for anyone else, but I can tell you being a part of this online community has helped improve my writing.  I've come up with a list of ten reasons. No doubt, in the hours and days after I publish this, I will think of more.   So, in… Read full post »
JANUARY 12, 2011 6:14PM

Photo Tour!!! - You Had To Be There

But since you weren't, enjoy!  Hang on to the end, there's a chance you'll smile (either in enjoyment or embarrassment for our family, or both).

 

What's in the yellow boxes mom?  

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 Wow, um...

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 Thanks???

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 Oh, I get it!!!

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 … Read full post »

 

Outside my window...

A couple inches of fine white snow on bare branches, five pine trees in a row, two garbage cans on their side (from morning pick up), a bench and a five pointed star on our neighbor's fence.  Snow still falling. 

  0111111403Read full post »

JANUARY 10, 2011 11:23PM

Photo for proof (for fun)

If you read this post, you may remember mention of odd talents for a woman nearly 40 years old.

Here's proof.

  on my head 3

Behind me is amazed niece (in pink pants) before she met me eyeball to eyeball at which point I twisted sideways and fell over.

I know, no form… Read full post »

JANUARY 10, 2011 1:58PM

sacred transition

Early on, I decided to let my younger son wean himself from nursing.  Sadly, I needed to stop before he chose to.  I had been pregnant and/or nursing for several years and needed my body back.  I also felt he needed to enter a new phase even if he wasn't happyRead full post »

Flower Child, thank you for this Open Call.  I've been meaning to write the story for years.

 

 

A summer Saturday afternoon in the 80's.

“But you do it every other day, he won't know the difference.”

“I can't. He'll know they're for me this time.”

“He… Read full post »

JANUARY 8, 2011 9:50PM

Skating

One day, I'll probably write a more detailed account of growing up in an ice rink.  For now, I wanted to draft a sketch.  This is a revision of one of my first posts.  Even with cuts, it's still long, but hopefully entertaining.

 

 

A neighbor gave me her… Read full post »

JANUARY 7, 2011 3:41PM

Sweet Magic Puff

He didn't cry on his birth day.

He peed on my floppy stomach, nursed energetically, made small chirps from his look out in a swaddling blanket, wandered the hospital room with those large hazel eyes and sighed while he slept in the crook of my arm next to… Read full post »

JANUARY 6, 2011 7:17PM

flying

ancient Persian melody calls me back
from a distance unknown
so far had I lost sight
of my soul

body stretched on orange shag, beating pages with my sad journey

thin walls
hollow echo

fat blue candle on a rickety coffee table I've taken the legs off… Read full post »

Part of a comment left by maddiesdadd on my free verse poem last night-

"Now, how about a Haiku, or did I miss that one? Just kidding, but not really. I'd be fascinated to read it.
kurt-r-"

I can't say I'm impressed with the results of a first attempt, but I… Read full post »

JANUARY 4, 2011 5:28PM

oh, my little story

it is really best
if i don't
tell what didn't happen
until i can
find a place
in my heart for
pretend

can i have coffee
with my characters 
is that what i
need to do

have them over
Read full post »

Today my writing space has shifted directions.

  0102111802a

Normally I write here, by the west wall of our cozy living room

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facing a picture window.

Normally my son doesn't snag that spot on the couch before me and even if he does I kindly oust him with… Read full post »