My Heart Speaks Here
- April 02
- I'll tell you about my journey while I'm telling myself, rereading and saying aha! yes! and that is what it was like!
Words have magic feet. I like to see them dance.
The rest is to be kept quiet because it is sacred. How I watch people and love them never wondering if we'll agree. I love them because they are.
I believe in words but they aren't everything. I'll take harsh speech and good deeds over eloquence and little helpful action in the world.
There's shades of gray through everything which is one of many reasons I pray, "Thy Will not mine be done," trying not to cross my fingers but keep my eyes and heart open.
MY RECENT POSTS
- ZOMBIES! - A Guest Post
written by my older son
October 01, 2014 12:56AM
- Yard and Garden
September 30, 2014 06:21PM
- An X Word
September 29, 2014 11:42PM
September 28, 2014 10:24PM
September 25, 2014 11:04PM
MY RECENT COMMENTS
- “Pretty :-)”
September 22, 2014 11:26PM
- “Aw! Thank you for
sharing sweet Julien's smiling
September 21, 2014 09:31PM
- “"There is more going on
in the universe than we
September 16, 2014 10:59PM
- “What zanelle said, word
for word :-)”
September 13, 2014 08:02PM
- “I like this very much. I
took a few years off from
when my kids were
September 01, 2014 09:58PM
I woke up this morning wondering about the history of leg hair removal for women in the U.S. I did a brief google search, "history of leg shaving." From what I can tell, popular opinion lays responsibility for grown,… Read full post »
Rockin' out to Raffi, I'm peripherally aware of an animated game
of "Yeah, and then I pick up a big boulder and you distribute the
stun ray and we fly over the village back to our secret tree
house," carrying on nearby.
Mostly sunshine, half a chance for/… Read full post »
Not random - this process of moving into a literally-mobile home, gaining momentum for life on the road awhile - predictably chaotic, interrupted by waves of recognizing portals to freedom, understood and observed. Chunks of our garage grow visible, closet contents shrink, bags o… Read full post »
write me a cool night, windy
jacket zipped, sleeves pulled down
hints of yesterday's storm drizzling
call it solitude
beneath a starless haze
add a distant city bus
and a thousand tires
rolling through downtown
made with butter please
an iron table
a black sandwich… Read full post »
I don't like waiting and loose ends, but I appreciate the outcome of determination balanced with patience. I like singing along. I like warm sunny days followed by cold snuggly nights. I like when brothers appreciate each other, faces contorted into giggly art, belli… Read full post »
My husband and I have admitted that as long as everyone in our
family is safe, our house burning down would feel like a
blessing... once we all recovered from disbelief.
We hang on to so much useless-to-us stuff, letting it camp in boxes, drawers, closet-backs, above cabinets,/… Read full post »
Just like when I was 22, cool, single, free, attractive, determined, hopeful... insecure, financially inept, emotionally weak, unstable, impulsive, hiding half the story, prone to tantrums, wishing I could write like that other guy, needing constant validation, wounded, at war with a… Read full post »
Dreams require errands and chocolate has replaced cigarettes. I imagine you there, reading, but not hearing the same music I write to. In a moment of discouragement I wonder if we ever connect to another living soul. In a second flash, I wonder how our interconnectedness with every… Read full post »
I spent three slow hours at the library this afternoon. My son was in Pokemon league and I was a fixture in a beautiful cafe surrounded by walls of windows. I investigated educational sites for home schooling, periodically eyed my other stunningly beautiful child as he played Lego Starwar… Read full post »
Yesterday I warned that I may write about a 30 day purge. Seems I do want to publicly journal the process, at least today's.
I'm on day two of 30 for getting rid of at least one (ideally more) of our possessions each day. Today I gathered up a garbage… Read full post »
I thought of setting for myself the task of writing another 30 blog posts in 30 days. Then I realized I don't want to, or rather, I want to focus on clearing our house of every extra instead.
Mercilessness is needed here.
Mind tricks hold me back,… Read full post »
We'll need an oven, for when a recipe order comes in. Business goes on. We require comfortable sleeping accommodations for four to begin with, six ideally, but we're not starting with ideal, just necessary. Ideal is my idea, best is guided from beyond the veil. We'll also need a decent commode… Read full post »
I'm sitting in a cafe, owned by the bakery that produces our gluten free recipes.
We ought to see these soon!
A spring dinner salad at a wooden picnic table eased into an
open-window dusk in our living room, which is now a night amble
into the tandem, sedentary worlds of electronics engagement.
Hello OS friends, How are you tonight?
I haven't been… Read full post »
slow writing beside a shaggy canine bundle
she jumped in my arms for love
asleep now, lola sighs
quiet in between, overcast
seventeen minutes past noon
i have ached for calm
boys earn gentle… Read full post »
love, blessed, life
solid matters, my opinion
details of a single moment
in a walking meditation
one mile at a time
no beat holds me steady
the sun, a promise
carries my frame
accompanied by a fragile silence
a link to/… Read full post »
Details make me serious. I furrow my brow, set my lips in a line and move too slow and too fast at once. Even when I have the grace to glide through a long "to do" list, if I'm aiming at a too-intense-to-grasp goal, I whimper where no one can hear.… Read full post »
What defines me? How do I want to be defined?
Defined is one of those words, apt to sound peculiar when said or
thought over and over, its meaning obscured with repetition.
For this reason, I'm blinking at a mostly blank screen.
Define Heidibeth: .....
Struggling, can you tell?
Okay, h… Read full post »
faith breathes flesh
onto a skeleton of dreams
a rope i cling to
a vision held so long, longing
the moment i would
cross my legs before you
have time to see you... see… Read full post »
I've searched and searched. I fold for now. Matters call,
sleep calls. Poetry. I have no brain for verse tonight, my
mind so tangled in seeking, sorting, waiting, wishing.
No dream is lived without effort, yet... am I pushing too hard, not detached enough, or spinning in place. … Read full post »
I was gonna feel sorry for myself, sorry as in pining for wants I must accept uncertainty about while I wait hopefully for the desired scenario to transpire. I decided to make deviled eggs instead. Water's boiling now.
I was gonna slump on the couch and pout, then I rotated… Read full post »
Frozen in time on glossy parchment, a three year old boy stands in the park one summer afternoon, sunshine smile wreathed in auburn curls, one arm held high, the other on his hip above a fat brown leather belt, Curious George dances in white cloth bubbles over soft navy corduroy… Read full post »
I could turn my heart to every matter undefined, laced with sadness, uncertainty, less than what I wished for. I could.
I ache enough holding love, hugs from small arms, cherished hopes like late winter buds; a promise of spring. Still, I sing here.
Pregnant with tears, matters I n… Read full post »
And he's good!
Every mother is inclined to say exactly this when their dear one treads the boards.
I'm not being motherly-enthusiastic. He is an excellent actor with a fantastic voice to boot!
Dialogue comes easily. Once he understands the why, he's on the case, giving his heart to the te… Read full post »
They stand on longer-than-she-can-believe legs, possess defined jaw lines, cheek bones, composure. She studies each feature, especially those beautiful eyes.
Her older son flashes a crinkle-nose grin.
"Mooom, what?!" her younger son giggles, squirming.
"I'm grateful I get to be your mother," she o… Read full post »