My Heart Speaks Here

One Realization, One Memory, One Story at a Time


April 02
I'll tell you about my journey while I'm telling myself, rereading and saying aha! yes! and that is what it was like! Words have magic feet. I like to see them dance. The rest is to be kept quiet because it is sacred. How I watch people and love them never wondering if we'll agree. I love them because they are. I believe in words but they aren't everything. I'll take harsh speech and good deeds over eloquence and little helpful action in the world. There's shades of gray through everything which is one of many reasons I pray, "Thy Will not mine be done," trying not to cross my fingers but keep my eyes and heart open.


Heidibeth's Links
JANUARY 8, 2015 7:12PM

A Mother's Morning Meditation

Kittens scatter Lego heads, water sloshes in the washing machine, snow slides off the truck’s windshield, and I stare into space, letting quiet be my company.

It’s shattered by boys yelling “Mom!” with requests I needn’t really answer. This balance of daily life, mainta… Read full post »

NOVEMBER 17, 2014 10:20PM


yellow paint 2 

yellow paint changes things 
the poet’s words are more of a tinkering matter 
silence sounds like ceiling fans and espresso filling tiny glasses 
i eat the silence one breath at a time 
in my seat, alone, happily considering very little 
finally  Read full post »

NOVEMBER 4, 2014 5:24PM

To Remember

I forgot to write the yellow leaves 
falling from our little tree 
(before they were gone) 
the frozen tomato plants
now brown and drooping 
the cold gray sky through branches 
bare and still 
We open our windows anyway
to hear the rain and remember
before winter wraps her quietRead full post »



Thanks to my older son, on this last day of September's A to Z Challenge, I'm delighted to share a guest post, written by him.

“There are zombies down in Scuttle Creek,” an old man told a random guy. “The undead wrecked my minivan, and then they came for me.Read full post »

SEPTEMBER 30, 2014 6:22PM

Yard and Garden



Six years ago we moved into our little 925 sq ft house. At the time we had planned on living in an apartment for a few years, but what-have-you intervened in the form of a moldy crawl space and an apartment we couldn't be in without feeling bleaghk.

So hereRead full post »

SEPTEMBER 29, 2014 11:43PM

An X Word



The word xanthosis, though lacking a pleasant meaning, is pivotal in Akeela and the Bee. We bought it to watch with my mom when she was at the rehab center, during what was to be her last few weeks. There never was a good time, and then she wasRead full post »

SEPTEMBER 28, 2014 10:27PM




I almost lost something valuable between the train tracks and my best friend’s house. It was a spring afternoon in my fifteenth year. For a second, everything went a dull gray, and I was certain I knew too much. As the weight of repetition settled on my shoulders, IRead full post »

SEPTEMBER 25, 2014 11:10PM




It’s been a stay-at-home, putter-around, bake-brownies, wear-PJs and finish-reading-my-mystery kind of day. Sunny, not too hot, not too cool, quiet. Very nice, really.

At 3:00 p.m. our friends came to pick up my older son for a few games of Magic the Gathering and my mother-Read full post »

SEPTEMBER 25, 2014 12:41AM

U Pick

So many U words, and not a single one has given me an idea for today’s post. I looked up Unctuous and Ubiquitous because they sound cool (nothing). I asked my older son to brainstorm U words with me. We came up with 27 in a few minutes. Unity… Read full post »
SEPTEMBER 23, 2014 10:44PM



I haven’t taken my boys with me to the grocery store in a while. It’s more pleasant for everyone that way. Not that they don’t behave well in the aisles, they generally do. I just like being able to focus, do a sort of walking meditation from one end
Read full post »
SEPTEMBER 22, 2014 10:23PM

Sharing a Gluten-Free Brownie Recipe



Tis the season, for baking and all, and I’ve been getting a yen for brownies. I have two good gluten-free brownie recipes already, but one includes xanthan gum and the other is primarily almond butter, two ingredients I choose to not bake with any more.

Last week I foundRead full post »

SEPTEMBER 20, 2014 9:49PM




I stare out the front window, squatting like a small child or our most peculiar cat, waiting for nothing. If our truck were still in the driveway I might go buy potato chips, just because. If… but we sold the Silverado in April. Our cupboards aren’t bare, but allRead full post »

SEPTEMBER 20, 2014 1:19AM

A Quilter in the family



The back office was turned into a sewing room when my mother-in-law retired. I remember a wall being removed in the process, so a bedroom must have also been converted. When I joined the family fifteen years ago she was a sophomore English teacher, usually sitting in her reclinerRead full post »


Sing along with me:

Who stole the pickles form the pickle jar?

Did Janet steal the pickles from the pickle jar?

Thirty-five years ago this was a circle time song at my school. Strange which memories hold on through the decades.

Anywho, we buy fancy, six-ingredient, no-wondering-what&rsquo
Read full post »
SEPTEMBER 17, 2014 5:59PM

Odd (A to Z blog challenge day 15)


I went to the health food store/café this afternoon for some alone time. Certain creatures had a different idea. No sooner had I pulled out my Kindle and started reading than a busy bee stopped by for a close encounter. I shooed it away and seconds later… Read full post »



Autumn is nearly here. Days are cool, nights are colder, and I’m finally making our house a home for the first time in a year. That’s how long we’ve been back at our old address, the one we thought we were going to put on the market last summer,Read full post »


Dear mom,

I was thinking back to gymnastics summer camp the other day. I remembered working out in the gym, the van ride to the beach afternoons, sand structure contests, making friendship bracelets, sunlight and shadows on the grass and sugar tummy aches, but I have only one memory… Read full post »


Growing up, I thought I’d have to order a Ginsu knife from the man on TV if I ever wanted to slice a tomato in half so perfectly I could put the halves together again and no one would know it wasn’t whole.

I was more inclined to prepare macaroni andRead full post »

SEPTEMBER 12, 2014 2:01AM

July (A to Z blog challenge day 10)


Afternoons are made of sand sculptures, 
swimming in the lake and the shivery moments  
when a cloud covers the sun 
above my wet, sandy body 
until the sun’s warm rays return.

I’m eight, nine, ten 
and not waiting for anything. 
Summer hot sticksRead full post »

SEPTEMBER 11, 2014 12:00AM

I ~ in verse (A to Z blog challenge day 9)


I have arms and legs, fingers and toes 
a mouth, two eyes and a sticking out nose

I like ice cream and cookies, laughter and kindness 
white roses in bloom and a world without violence

I listen to crickets, cicadas and frogs 
my own sweet kitties and neighboring dogs

For my chRead full post »

SEPTEMBER 9, 2014 11:58PM

Helpers (A to Z blog challenge day 8)


The buddy system, the one teachers use to keep kids from getting lost on field trips, is a good way to go through life. So long as you and your buddies are Helpers, that is. 

Life is as exciting, mysterious and full of opportunities for coolness as a great museumRead full post »

SEPTEMBER 8, 2014 11:17PM

Gratitude (A to Z blog challenge day 7)


An orchestra of cicada songs and crows’ caws accompany me past small houses on my bike ride down side streets in our small Midwest town. I pedal slowly and listen. 

I’ve found a cool, breezy spot in the shade for my writing time this afternoon. 

Though I hadn’tRead full post »



Family Time can take on many good shapes. For example, a mother and her two sons walk to the bus stop in the late afternoon, taking turns pulling their red shopping cart, mom sipping coffee—especially enjoyable on a cool sunny day. Once delivered near their destination, the… Read full post »
SEPTEMBER 5, 2014 7:20PM

Enough (A to Z blog challenge day 5)


At the end of the day

if my boys are happy, fed, clean, a bit more knowledgeable and still enjoying each other’s company, if I have been careful to not speak ill of any absent one, and I manage to pen a few creative words

if my evening includes a little… Read full post »



Ten ways my life is Different than 20 years ago

I’m responsible for the care, feeding and education of two other human beings 
I can see who’s calling before I answer the phone 
I spend very little time in front of a mirror
I know how to cook more than hotdogs aRead full post »