When you lose a spouse, decision making becomes very difficult.  Small decisions can become major obstacles.  Things that were easy to make a choice become easier said than done.

For 33-years I have had someone that would give me their opinion.  I'm not saying that I always agreed wit/… Read full post »

One of my best friends for many years is Dana Valcourt.  If you look the word "trouble" up in the dictionary, you might possibly find a picture of Dana and myself.  You will easily recognize us, I would have the halo and he would have the pitchfork.  If a person could/… Read full post »

When I first met Pastor Lurch during the final days of Debbie's hospitalization, I thought that this man would never be able to lead our church.  He was short, quite and very soft spoken.  I thought the ladies of St. Mark's Lutheran Church would eat this man for a mid-morning snack. … Read full post »

Chapter 16:  Memories

My wife had the greatest smile that was powered by a wonderful sense of humor.  She could find something funny in just about everything.  When I would be the maddest and fixing to blow a gasket, she could quickly calm me down by making light of the/… Read full post »

Many people have told me that the holidays would be the toughest.  I never realized how right they would be.

This year, we celebrated Thanksgiving at Chris' house, Chris is my oldest son.  There was Chris, Amanda and my three grand-children.  Kurt, my youngest son and his new red-head/… Read full post »

After Debbie passed away, one of the questions that puzzled me was, "What is my purpose?"  Why did God take my spouse and leave me here on earth?  Is there something that God still wants me to do?

As with any couple, Debbie and I had dreams of places we… Read full post »

One afternoon while driving home from work I had a terrible thought.  For weeks, I had been consumed with how I felt losing my spouse and  I never stopped to consider how Debbie must have felt during her final days.

During most of Debbie's hospitalization she was unable to talk… Read full post »

I can't understand how we can put men in spacesuits and launch them into outer space, but we can't buy a cell phone that will survive being dropped in the driveway on a rainy day.

That's what happened to mine and the reason I got my new Android telephone.  This/… Read full post »

Daylight savings time started a couple of weeks ago and I've finally got around to changing the clock in the den.  I understand the purpose of turning the clocks backward and forward, but frankly I wonder if we aren't trying to pack too much into our allotted hours that God gave/… Read full post »

Chapter 10:  Looking Back

Everyday people ask how I am doing.  When you suddenly lose a spouse, it feels like your right arm has been ripped from your body.  What was once was considered easy, becomes difficult, what once was normal must now be re-thought as a single person.  It/… Read full post »

When you have lost a spouse, your first thought is to stay busy.

One of my things was to take Haley (Boo) my granddaughter to dance classes.  While this may sound like the simple task of delivering and picking up a short blonde-haired blue eyed munchkin, it has far greater/… Read full post »

Some of my friends think that I'm rushing into trying to date again.

Most don't understand that when you lose a spouse, it's not dating, but trying to find companionship to do simple things.  For many years, I had someone that went with me everywhere and we did everything together./… Read full post »

When losing a spouse, one of the hardest tasks is what to do with the personal belongings.  Every small knick-knack becomes a major decision.

My wife was a typical woman with two closets full of clothes and shoes.  She was also a pack-rat and never threw anything away.  I was/… Read full post »

I finally did it.

During the past few weeks, I finally realized that I was unable to run a business, keep my home clean and deal with the loss of a spouse.  I wanted to give up my job, but I quickly realized that my bill collectors weren't going to/… Read full post »

Several weeks after my wife passed away, I wanted spaghetti.

Being a widower and eating out is tough.  There are restaurants that you can go as a single person, and then there are restaurants that you must arrive and leave as a couple. 

That's the rules and I… Read full post »

This is probably going to be the silliest thing that I've ever written.  But, until  you experience what I am saying, you will never understand.

I get my haircut at Trackside for Men in Gastonia.  The girl that owns the shop and cuts my hair is Kelly Williamson.  We have/… Read full post »

"I have this friend that you should meet..."

It seems soon after my wife's death that several friends have tried to fix me up with women.  The conversation usually started, "I have this friend that you should meet..."  When I hear these words, my eyes tend to roll back in/… Read full post »

I consider myself pretty lucky.

Over the years, Debbie and I have made many friendships and acquaintances.  With life's events some friendships have remained strong, while others have died away.  Some have grown, and some probably never existed anyway.

Friendships change when someone lose… Read full post »

It's ironic at how quickly things can change in life.  On December 30, 1978, I married Deborah Kurt, the most beautiful woman in the world.  During our years of marriage I learned to love her, share the responsibility of raising a family and experienced how a marriage can make you dependent/… Read full post »