Sarcasm Alley

In the Land of Milk and Honey when you die they think it's funny

cheshyre grin

cheshyre grin
Sitting on a cornflake, waiting for the van to come
January 01
The One True
An ill-favoured thing, sir, but mine own.
Quit your snooping, bitch.


Cheshyre grin's Links

OS Interview
Goupil, The Assassin
OS Meta Movies
Oda Nobunaga
The Japans
Fort Worth Japanese Garden
Photo Essays
SEPTEMBER 21, 2014 3:56AM

Zen Monk Blues

"Sensei, I came here seeking enlightenment -"

"Then seek it!"

"- but, but, I seem to be failing."

"Then fail!"

Eijiro slinked away, crushed. He'd "felt stupid" since a small child; unable to force interest in the rigorous exams needed for further education./…

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SEPTEMBER 17, 2014 5:35AM

It Can't Happen To ME!

The prophesied Smirkin' Jerk

The virus, long underground, first became noticeable with savage Enron. Pensions built up into the hundreds of thousands were forcibly invested into the belly of the beast who'd taken over their company. Only a piddling few thousand remained in the/…

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SEPTEMBER 14, 2014 7:07PM

Nobu: To Live And Die In Edo Japan

[It was winter's last - and deepest - gasp in the thin mountains of eastern Japan. Nobu, hunted by the shogunate since last summer for refusing to commit seppuku, had reached the end of his run, living as a nightly noodle-maker. Come Spring he vowed to be a new man come… Read full post »
Skyline Trail Arch

My old nemesis had me in a death grip, squeezing my brain in a merciless headlock with no end in sight. I was buckling, praying for life to end, bemoaning my purposeless existence. I ran out the door gasping for air. Lying on my back, eyes barely open in/…

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[Nobu, the outlaw samurai who refused seppuku, had burrowed deep into the rural Japanese mountains, losing himself both physically and psychologically. But his success in hiding to live led to failure in living. Crossroads were approaching, pulling him in different directions. Which path leads to lif… Read full post »
SEPTEMBER 1, 2014 11:44PM

Bucket List Trip Coda: Gooding Auction

Pebble Beach (6)

Like a vampire, as the sun came out, I had to go in. Hiking back to my rental car I passed the Gooding auction tent hoping to do some recon. I knew Gooding was a low volume, high quality auction house and very well might have some interesting cars/…

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SEPTEMBER 1, 2014 10:48AM

Banks And Robbers: A Fable

Once there was a Banker who did well. "Wow, can you believe it? My bank is worth a billion dollars!" This was all the money in the land. For years he had been an honest and faithful steward of the people's money - this despite the fact/…

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Pebble (2)

So this is it, the greatest car show on the planet; no holds barred, no compromises, only the crème de la crème. Yes, there are awards at the Pebble Beach Concours but don't be fooled, every car here is a world class winner. One does not enter a car/…

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Laguna Parking Parking in the early morning fog

The greatest disappointment of my trip was my way too short time allowed at the track. I really needed a good three days to get the lay of the land, find good filming locations and then be able to piece together/…

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"Does she love him? ...Does she really love him?"

Almost no day passed without that thought passing through his head. A commercial, a movie, a couple in a book store - almost anything could trigger it despite the fact the breakup happened years and years ago./…

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Italian Concours Maseratis!

Day 2, in which Doris gets her oats.

To truly appreciate the Monterey Automobile Week one needs to spend the entire week there. Looking back I wish I had scheduled another couple of days regardless of cost. There's just plain too much to do and see. So my Saturday/…

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I've been a recluse, a hermit, a monk, a blogger - among other vile things - lately. Go West, I said to myself. Get thee to Pebble Beach Concours d'Elegance, see the greatest car show on earth and, yes, also seek ye the Maserati Holy Grail on/…

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He never put on his own makeup. Not once in all the years I knew him and I was with him from the beginning, working small time circuses in dusty West Texas towns all the way to arenas jam packed with rabid fans. Charlie could make the world laugh and applaud… Read full post »

AUGUST 12, 2014 10:50PM

Tears Not Cried

How to spot an ashamed person

"I not ashamed of nothin' I done." There was conviction and proud defiance in Joaquin's voice, daring anyone within hearing to contradict him. No one cared to.

Sometimes I end up in odd rooms with odd people/…

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AUGUST 11, 2014 1:41AM

Obama Year 6: Is He Still Jesus?

First, to get a couple of things out of the way which I think are necessary when commenting on a political figure. One is that I have no respect for our current POTUS and in many ways despise him and his adamant lack of conviction  (well, he/…

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AUGUST 4, 2014 2:02AM

Descent Of A Mad Samurai (Part 3)

[Nobu, samurai fugitive for refusing to commit seppuku after an error in guard duty, staggers across the country with no place to rest. Disoriented, his head spinning in confusion, he tries to take stock of his wasted life. But without rest, without hope and having unleashed the dogs of desire, only… Read full post »

AUGUST 2, 2014 7:30PM

I'm Sorry. I'm Not Political.

"Schicklgruber! Have you finished those plans yet?"

"Almost, mein kampf."

"Well, hurry up. People are waiting. We need zie Judes in zie ovens quicker!"

Schicklgruber was the industrious sort and the methodology for faster loading of Judes into the gas chambers was a high/…

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I almost never watch Lardball Hardball anymore but I caught a short segment on former governor Ted Strickland attempting to survive live on slave minimum wage for a week ($7.25). He characterized it as a failure. "Living nightmare" might be more accurate.

After taking rent and/…

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JULY 27, 2014 9:51PM

Making The World A Safer Place?

"Billy, wake up! Time for school! But first write down all your thoughts for the past 24 hours."

"Aw, Dad!"

"Do it, you little brat! Don't make me look bad. I must check for terroristic thoughts!"… Read full post »
JULY 26, 2014 7:31PM

Time Out (NSFW)

This was her new go-to fantasy. She wasn't sure when it started but it had come to consume her "secret time". She'd be put in time-out nude, in front of everyone, and be made to stand there silently for as long as they said. Her body would/…

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JULY 24, 2014 11:25PM

Diary Of A Mad Samurai

[Nobu "The Notorious" caused a national furor by choosing to run instead of accepting his sentence of seppuku for his infraction during guard duty. Hoping against hope his life had meaning outside the samurai code, his life on the run stretched into a miserable existence of self-pity and paranoia. Ha… Read full post »

JULY 15, 2014 9:30PM

Why Die, Samurai?

"You reading again, Nobu?" sneered Yoshi.

"You feeling threatened again, Yoshi?"

"Why do you always have to talk like that?" an annoyed Yoshi demanded to know.

"Was just going to ask you same question," replied a monotone Nobu not bothering to look up.


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JULY 6, 2014 6:52AM

The Sun Maiden

As the sunflower
Must face the sun -
Though it's fate a
Withering one -
So I too must die
If we are not one.

It was the honor of I, Mitsubishi Jiro, to stand as personal guard this evening as my liege lord Oda Nobunaga spoke with his most trusted general Toyotomi Hideyoshi. Meeting Lord Oda changed my life (you can read my story here) and I knew my fate was/…

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JUNE 27, 2014 7:26AM

The Two Faces Of Eve

"The answer to deep anxiety is the deep adoration of God."

Reading those words gave her great comfort. (Giving comfort is a highly profitable business!) And indeed, she had a deep, deep anxiety. Sleep had increasingly evaded her for years. Every moment pierced further into/…

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