Sarcasm Alley

In the Land of Milk and Honey when you die they think it's funny

cheshyre grin

cheshyre grin
Sitting on a cornflake, waiting for the van to come
January 01
The One True
An ill-favoured thing, sir, but mine own.
Quit your snooping, bitch.


Cheshyre grin's Links

OS Interview
Goupil, The Assassin
OS Meta Movies
Oda Nobunaga
The Japans
Fort Worth Japanese Garden
Photo Essays
JANUARY 24, 2015 3:31AM

High Anxiety: Calling Doctor DareKill

"Wow, you sure you're at rest?"

"I'm at rest as I can be. I know I can feel my heart pounding."

"That's an understatement. It's at 120. I've seen race car drivers with slower heart rates - while racing!"

"They've got it easier than/…

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JANUARY 18, 2015 6:20AM

Military Unveils SHOCKING New Uniform!

President Obama in his role as Commander-in-Chief revealed today sweeping new changes in military outfitting. "I feel in my last two years I have an opportunity to make some real symbolic gestures that have no meaning. Knowing full well my decisions will be either wholly rejected or/…

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JANUARY 14, 2015 12:29AM

TerRorIsm fOr duMMieS

Does this burka make me look caliphate?

"Hey, Leroy"

"Hey yerself, Osama."

"Man, my life is shit!"

"Mine too! What is we gunna do about it?"

"I don't know about you but I'm feeling awfully oppressed."

"That sounds bad."

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JANUARY 11, 2015 2:18AM

Haiku Found By The Side Of The Road

Autumn leaves rustling;
Conversations with the wind
That no one can hear

I know what's chic. I know what sells. I know what makes the crowd cheer in holy confirmation. You want a Political Answer. You want a Military Answer. You want an Economic Answer. You want an Answer To The World!

You ca-an't have it!

You want a leader you/… Read full post »

"The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled 
was convincing the world he doesn't exist."

Kennedy Cooper was special. He died not knowing that. At 1:12 AM on a Monday morning his car was found off Interstate 35 just south of Waco. The car/…

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JANUARY 7, 2015 7:58AM

Cheshyre in Wonderland (Photo Essay)

Wonderland 48.

I walk as an invisible man in downtown Dallas; unseen, unknown, unwanted. The average rent now is $1,800 a month in the downtown/uptown area with a 94% occupancy rate - and they can't build them fast enough. Who are these people? Where do the come from? How could I/…

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JANUARY 2, 2015 2:34AM

The Sad Man Of The Taliban

For children, some sins are unforgivable, unconfessable. In such a case, one must bury the sin deep inside - so deep that even the sinner does not know. But even then safety proves elusive; a mad dog stuffed into a closet barking and growling to be released/…

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DECEMBER 30, 2014 8:41AM

This Book Really Hurt Me

Someone once said of me, "I found the perfect film for Harry. It's foreign and depressing." I thought it was pretty funny because I know that's what it seems from the outside. For me, there's no such thing as an ugly truth because only truth can lead/…

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DECEMBER 29, 2014 10:42AM

Life At The Speed Of Light

"Christ, how am I ever going to show this to to the Admiral?" The ensign held up a french maid uniform to show.

"Don't. Bad enough we got this crap detail to begin with cleaning up this asshole's mess. Not gonna explain every wacky detail of/…

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DECEMBER 24, 2014 1:18AM

Watching The (Gas) Monkeys

Gas Monkey 1

Anyone who watches the reality show "Fast N' Loud" knows that it's based here in Dallas. Gas Monkey Garage builds hot rods and resto-mods with flair and flamboyance. Their place is easy to find and get to and they opened up a gift shop in the front end of/…

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DECEMBER 22, 2014 11:06PM

The Alphabet Game

In the beginning was the Creator, and from the Creator derived the various Spirits of Design, one of which was the Spirit of Wisdom. The Wisdom Spirit designed an alphabet from which one day could be built languages which would derive communication and the living arts. Although/…

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DECEMBER 20, 2014 5:28PM

The Napkin Writer


"My God, that's me!"

I'm not sure if I said that out loud or not. In the poker game of life I try not to speak my thoughts. But I was so startled and scared by the sight of what I thought was my insides outside I reacted/…

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DECEMBER 20, 2014 11:24AM

So Google Has Blocked My Blog

A funny thing happened on the way to national insecurity. Somebody got his feelings hurt! Not that my blog is anything but mental doodlings but it seems lying under oath has its drawbacks even when never convicted or even called out as a bullshitter and my wee/…

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DECEMBER 19, 2014 10:57AM

The Joy Of Suicide

Monster Man comes
Worshiping his sword;
He's come to bring me
The Living Word!

"Slay your feelings
"Through and through,
"Or with this blade
"I'll slay You!"

"You'll be slain
"Like Cool Hand Luke,
"And nailed like the Savior
"We did rebuke."

"You'll be commanded
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White Tigers face

I'm certainly a fan of feline mystique even having grown up with only dogs. My theory has always been God made big cats, took one look at them and said, "Son-of-bitch! I gotta make smaller versions of those because they are just too too cool!" Animal gifts! They do/…

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DECEMBER 14, 2014 12:50AM

Part 2: The End Of Wealth

It's a feeling of quiet creeping horror. As if I'm sliding down a frictionless hill right off the face of the earth. I can decide to stop but it makes no difference. I try to turn to the left, or the right, but down I still go./…

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DECEMBER 9, 2014 10:34PM

Part 1: Of Poverty And Wealth

"That's my car!" she pointed in beaming pride.

We strolled together in the warm Fall afternoon through the old East Dallas neighborhood approaching her rental abode and there in the crumbling concrete of a driveway a Toyota Corolla was boldly parked. As she toured me around/…

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DECEMBER 7, 2014 3:20PM

I Don't Want To Die Unknown

For years and years that was my goal, as if that would prove something. Then no one would know what a fuck up I've been or what an unlivable mess I've made of my life. It has cost me the people most dearest to me and you know one in the… Read full post »

DECEMBER 6, 2014 2:03PM

The Stranger Within

Your love at an end
How can I live
With the stranger within?
DECEMBER 1, 2014 10:05PM

Sherry Berry Is A Mournin' Mormon

"Is life always this hard, or is it just when you're a kid?"
"Always like this."
- The Professional

Life in a rural Texas town is two things: what it really is and what you imagine it to be. If you're/…

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NOVEMBER 30, 2014 10:59PM

Haiku Blue


Sliding shadows creep;
Whispering ghosts retracing
Footprints in my head

NOVEMBER 30, 2014 10:07AM

"Homesman" (Film Review)

A movie is either worth seeing or it's not. Some may only warrant a single viewing but that's still enough for a recommendation. Some are a waste of time and some are an outright insult. And some, like this one, are both.

The plot is three/…

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NOVEMBER 29, 2014 9:53AM

Looking The Other Way

I needed a fresh start. There was no denying I'd made a mess of my directionless life. My old nemesis, negativity, had snatched defeat from the jaws of victory in a lifelong nightmare of stubbornness. How many times had I stood on the edge of success but/…

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NOVEMBER 26, 2014 12:18AM

"Emperor Obama"

Well, the Republicants are squealing like stuck pigs. Yo-Momma Obama put the screws to them like he should have been doing all along. Funny we aren't seeing more praise from the Obamabots. Maybe it's because they are the same as one highly vocal supporter who gushed effusive/…

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