(Part of a book called Savoring Meditations written nearly a dozen years ago.  My arm no longer hurts.)

I'm really getting tired of it!

Day in and day out my left arm radiates pain, from the upper to my wrist, and then my hand -- constantly cold!

I look forward to going to bed at night or even a nap mid-day.  But even when I try to sleep, the ache keeps me awake, or awakens me once I do get to sleep.

I know that when we compare my aching arm to the pain and suffering of Christ, my suffering is very minor.  But my threshold for pain hasn't reached as high as Christ's yet.  I'm a big baby, and I want to avoid pain.  

Finally I take an aspirin. Ordinarily, I avoid anything but vitamins and supplements, but now I give in so I can rest a little.

I worry and wonder what is happening.  What is going on inside this body?  Is the blood flowing smoothly?  Is arthritis kicking in?  Do I have a pulled tendon?  Will I ever feel better?  

In the darkness, I think of the purified gold.  Struggle brings strength.  I just need to keep remembering that, over and over.