Had a strong dream last night. My old flame was in a bedroom in a house I once lived in. She was asleep. I was shocked to see her.

She was still 23 or 24. Gorgeous. All the women I've ever pursued have been modeled on her. No one has ever come close to being her. 

I've had maybe half a dozen dreams involving her over the decades, and we're into the third or fourth decade by now. Always powerful dreams, rattle me like an earthquake. 

I made my bed. How do I get back to that dream? I want to return to that dream and I want for it to never end. 

Cold this morning. Small headache. Tearing of the eyes. If only we'd actually had enough of a relationship for it to run its course perhaps I wouldn't be carrying a major torch for her all these years later. 

How can I produce another dream like that? If only there were some formula, some combination of drugs or alcohol or scents or anything to get back there. Better than flying dreams. 

I am with her and feel alive. In my dreams.

I know someday you'll have a beautiful life,
I know you'll be a sun / in somebody else's sky, but why
Why, why can't it be, can't it be mine