BoyGir

A Mother's Journey

GirlyBoyMama

GirlyBoyMama
Location
California,
Birthday
March 27
Bio
I am the mother of a "girl of truth," which is to say a child who has the soul of a girl in a body of a boy. This is the story of one child's path to acceptance through the eyes of her mother.

MY RECENT POSTS

It was the opportunity I had been waiting for: a job that offered security, great benefits, a great “next step” in my career, all in a field that would give me a warm fuzzy feeling in my heart at the end of the day. It had been years that I had… Read full post »

JULY 28, 2013 2:40PM

It's a Family Affair

For all the time that Girlyboy Papa and I devote to providing our attention and unconditional support for Alex, there is a person in our family who often goes under-represented. Teddy. He is Alex’s younger brother. And until recently, Teddy also happened to be our “easy” kid, whichRead full post »

JUNE 19, 2013 2:17AM

My God, People...

Let those who can accept it, accept it.

 

When I was entering 5th grade, my parents made the decision to switch me from public school to a private, Catholic one. At the time, I was happy for the switch even though it meant I would no longer be/… Read full post »

APRIL 26, 2012 3:17PM

The Scarlet Letter

The Scarlet Letter

 

My clammy hands gripped the steering wheel while I focused on restraining my foot from pressing the gas pedal all the way to the floor. Breathe, I told myself. Relax. Deep breath in through my nostrils, taking in the bucolic beauty of our rural area. My throat was/… Read full post »

JANUARY 7, 2012 12:41PM

The Power of a Common Experience

 From time to time, I receive lovely messages of support and encouragement through this blog from people who are either transgender themselves or are supporting a person who is. I enjoy this kind of connection as it somehow personalizes the whole experience to me even more. The messages from aduRead full post »

JANUARY 6, 2012 2:06AM

Alex Has a Hero and Her Name is Joppe

Recently another parent of a transchild shared a link to a short documentary that was going to be shown an a local film festival. I previewed it first before showing Alex. After doing so, I knew it would resonate with her. 

I am always curious to know what she thinks

Read full post »

In the past few months, we’ve really come a long way. I have always known our journey would take twists and turns, and while I consider myself open and flexible to changing course in my life, I guess I hadn’t really prepared for the agonizing decisions we would have to make… Read full post »

Editor’s Pick
OCTOBER 21, 2011 12:25PM

The Summer of Pronouns

This past summer, we enrolled Alex in a local parks and rec summer day camp program. As a girl.

While this may seem for many to be either follow a natural course or even maybe not be a very big deal, it represented a big leap for her and for… Read full post »

JULY 4, 2011 2:32PM

The Many Faces of Pride

In recent weeks, BoyGirPapa and I have had some heart-to-heart conversations with Alex about bullying, what it means to be different, and the people and communities who take a stand to show their support. We’ve introduced Alex to web sites like… Read full post »

Editor’s Pick
MAY 12, 2011 12:16AM

Breaking Down Walls and Mending Fences

In July 2010, life in the BoyGir house had reached a level that one might tag as “controlled chaos.” That is to say, things were on the brink of falling apart. BoyGir Papa was doing his best to hold the fort down, ensuring both kids reached their respective destinations (school and… Read full post »

DECEMBER 30, 2010 12:49AM

"Bathroom Etiquette 101" by I. P. Freely

I clearly recall the first time my perceptions of the gender binary were challenged in a public restroom. The year was 1997 and I was vacationing with a friend and his partner in Puerto Vallarta, Mexico. I wasn’t married yet and didn't have kids. My friends and I had decided to… Read full post »

DECEMBER 20, 2010 1:30PM

The Outing

I have to be honest: I’m still high from the euphoria of the passage of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell on Saturday. So many of us never thought we’d see this day. I am eager to see what this means for civil rights and the citizens our country.

 

As an editor… Read full post »

NOVEMBER 29, 2010 2:20AM

The Infusion of Confusion

It is becoming more and more evident in the days, months, years that pass, that the more we allow Alex the freedom to express himself, the more he gravitates towards any and everything feminine. Despite this, he does not reject his boy gender.

 

Alex is only seven. He is still defining… Read full post »

NOVEMBER 15, 2010 7:08PM

Of Both and Neither

In past blogs, I've received some feedback about the name I selected for this blog. I suspect it's been a source of disgust for some, and for others--liberation. Whatever your opinion, to hear the term "girlyboy" is generally considered to be a provocative term; and yet, it most closely describes my… Read full post »

Recently, there has been a lot of media coverage on  some parents ("Nerdy Apple Bottom" and Cheryl Kilodavis) who have voiced their opinions about parenting their own "sparkly boys." It's been satisfying to watch this topic receive the attention it deserves, but it also begs the question (to the… Read full post »

OCTOBER 17, 2010 2:53PM

Owning His Identity

For the past 1 year and 9 months, I have fantasized about Alex one day becoming a renowned ballet dancer. His skill and ability seemed above par. His interest and dedication to the art was focused and intent. Or so I thought.

 

I had often wondered if that duality ever… Read full post »

Sometimes, when I step back from my day-to-day routine and think about who my child is, his potential to do amazing things in this world, and how truly special and important it is that he can freely express himself, I’m literally overcome with emotion. I catch my breath and tears flow… Read full post »

Editor’s Pick
JULY 27, 2010 1:51AM

Double-Agent Alex

In the seven years since his birth, Alex has taught me more about myself and humanity than all my 41 years, self-help books, and overseas volunteer experience combined. He continues to help everyone around him discover the inner beauty and unlimited potential when one is nurtured, loved, accepted, an… Read full post »

Every so often, curiosity gets the better of me and I find myself probing checking-in with Alex about where he’s at with things. Things like which gender he is identifying as in the moment and which gender he’s attracted to. Last night as I was laying in bed with him, the/… Read full post »

APRIL 16, 2010 2:37PM

National Day of Silence

I learned on Tuesday that there was a scheduled event for today amongst many US teens in an effort to show support for anti-bullying laws and LGBT youth. I am remiss in only posting it today--the day of, but I feel like I need to do my part to help get the… Read full post »

Editor’s Pick
MARCH 30, 2010 2:26AM

Alex and the Wonderful, Stupendous Very Good Day

I heard the gentle flapping of soft feet on hard wood well before he emerged from the darkness into the stark kitchen light. Judging by the timing of the stride, I knew it was Alex and not his three year old little brother. Instinctively or by habit, I felt myself tense… Read full post »

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Before the winter olympics last month, the name "Johnny Weir" never even registered with me. Granted, we have opted out of the evil entity that is Cable TV, so we are somewhat insulated from the steady stream of media that soothes our society's addiction to information (by design, I might add).… Read full post »

FEBRUARY 24, 2010 12:51AM

What are little girls are made of?

Recently, I played the excerpts from the Dr. Oz show that dealt with transgender youth to Alex. I was curious to know what his reaction would be to seeing other "identified" transgender children.

 

He watched intently. At the moment when Dr. Oz said the word “transgender” he quickly p… Read full post »

FEBRUARY 22, 2010 12:17AM

We are not alone

I did not see this when it first aired, but I was informed that the video of Dr. Oz who interviewed families with transgender children is now available on YouTube.

 For those of you who may have stumbled upon this blog while searching for answers about your own child, just know… Read full post »

Editor’s Pick
FEBRUARY 9, 2010 2:03AM

Much Ado about a Dress

One Friday a few weeks ago, Alex dressed himself in a pink striped sundress over his jeans and t-shirt. As he was slipping his feet into his shoes, I broached the topic carefully.

 

“Are you sure you want to wear that?”

 

“Yeah,” he replied dismissively.

 

“O… Read full post »