It was for a day like this that I prepared myself all my life. Education, career, financial independence. . . My parents left their mother land to give me the opportunity of earning what they called 'the golden bracelet' – the key to opportunity and an independent life through liberal education, should fate choose to frown on me. Naturally they wanted their daughter to have a happy marriage and give them beautiful grandchildren who would thrive in an extended family milieu. But dreams don't last, day dawns and sweeps them into reality.
The golden bracelets, we often wish to have as 'just in case' measures or badges of personal satisfaction and accomplishment, tum into items we pawn bit by bit to survive in the face of realities. Everything we are taught, internalized and believed as a woman, a female, a power to be reckoned with went out the window or the door at the first strike of that dagger we can identify as betrayal.
How does one deal with the betrayal by her partner, especially when that betrayal is brought on, and nourished by another woman who calls herself a “feminist”?
EXCUSE ME, but doesn't HE have a mind of his own?
YES, I believed he did; but it takes a strong mind, a special man to remain faithful to his commitment. He wasn't that special man, after all.
And that's why the betrayal is so painful. It's not just the tsunami of one's belief in the relationship, the sanctity of the union and the vows of commitment to each other; but it is the self-demise of that partner who made all those promises. It's the emergence of a new personality cheered on by the salivating “feminist” whose self interest lies in an anticipated alliance with him.
So we move on, independently, with our golden bracelets to support a new will of our own which no one can take from us. Yet, I cannot help but wonder :
When it comes to matters of the heart, do “feminists” have any principles; or are they their own kind's worst enemies?