Füsun A.

AN ECLECTIC WRITER

FusunA

FusunA
Location
Montréal, CANADA
Birthday
January 12
Title
Freelance Writer - jack of all genres;master of none.
Company
warm and genuine
Bio
I divorced my full time career of teaching after 25 years, because meanwhile I fell in love with freelance writing. Ever since, I decided to legitimize my ten-year fling which started in the new millennium. Author of: "WILL OF MY OWN - A Memoir" Available at all major book outlets. For a preview please visit: http://www.dictionmatters.com/

MY RECENT POSTS

OCTOBER 25, 2009 12:07PM

Are Feminists their own worst Enemies ?

Rate: 4 Flag

Right.

It was for a day like this that I prepared myself all my life. Education, career, financial independence. . . My parents left their mother land to give me the opportunity of earning what they called 'the golden bracelet' – the key to opportunity and an independent life through liberal education,  should fate choose to frown on me. Naturally they wanted their daughter to have a happy marriage and give them beautiful grandchildren who would thrive in an extended family milieu. But dreams don't last, day dawns and sweeps them into reality.

The golden bracelets, we often wish to have as  'just in case' measures or  badges of personal satisfaction and accomplishment, tum into items we pawn bit by bit to survive in the face of realities. Everything we are taught, internalized and believed as a woman, a female, a power to be reckoned with went out the window or the door at the first strike of that dagger we can identify as betrayal.

How does one deal with the betrayal by her partner, especially when that betrayal is brought on, and nourished by another woman who calls herself a “feminist”?

EXCUSE ME, but doesn't HE have a mind of his own?

YES, I believed he did; but it takes a strong mind, a special man to remain faithful to his commitment. He wasn't that special man, after all.

And that's why the betrayal is so painful. It's not just the tsunami of one's belief in the relationship, the sanctity of the union and the vows of commitment to each other; but it is the self-demise of that partner who made all those promises. It's the emergence of a new personality cheered on by the salivating “feminist” whose self interest lies in an anticipated alliance with him.

So we move on, independently, with our golden bracelets to support a new will of our own which no one can take from us. Yet, I cannot help but wonder :

When it comes to matters of the heart, do “feminists” have any principles; or are they their own kind's worst enemies?

http://www.dictionmatters.com

 

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Comments

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my heart goes out to you, I have been there

feminism did downplay the role of the family and marriage
so that has encouraged this
also the general decline in morals in society
what's in it for me, the only value

any woman who does this to another woman IS NO FEMINIST
Feminism is such a diverse collection of social theories, political movements, and moral philosophies. That it is hard to nail down what exactly is a Feminist.

Feminist political activism commonly rally on issues such as reproductive rights, sexual harassment, equal pay, discrimination sexual violence and many other topics. The problem is you would have a hard time getting 100 people who identify themselves as feminist to agree on how to fix the issue.
"Feminism" is over-rated. Women who rally, lobby and work for these ideals are humanitarians just as men are. I don't see why they need to brand themselves. Moreover, it gives our gender a bad name when those among them behave against their codes of ethics- or even lack them towards their "sisters".

Why don't men call themselves something similar ? I think a true feminist doesn't need a title, she just is by her ethics and being. And an activist is an activist by any gender.
I think extreme feminism has messed things up socially. It has created a generation of men who know nothing of being a man in the traditional, ages old sense. It has been confusing to most as to how to respond to the ultra feminist, and then through the trickle down theory, to all women, just how do we respond to each other? What a mess it has made of society. And, personally as you describe, how it has made a shambles of what could have been a good marriage.
rated:)
Harvey Gardner,

As full of common sense as what you said is, it may not be obvious for some - ethereal academicians, for example - that men and women are not the same, nor is one superior to the other. Such people spend their lives trying to prove 'the Earth is round' while everyone else around had already known that to be so. Some win dubious recognition in their quests of the obvious.

I believe men and women should have equal rights and equal pay as citizens and people; professionals and non-professionals; artists and politicians. Beyond this, it is a disgrace for a woman to call herself Feminist, devoted in feminist causes, pursue cultural contributions of one's gender as a separate category; and then shamelessly seduce a married man.