Random Things that Fall Out of My Head

Frank Michels

Frank Michels
Nashville, Tennessee, USA
March 29
Frank Michels is a songwriter, musician, and producer in Nashville, Tennessee. He likes to dig in the dirt and plant flowers, cook tasty things, walk his dog, and play really fast riffs on a telecaster guitar.


APRIL 25, 2012 7:38AM

When Your Hairdresser Leaves Town

Rate: 5 Flag

                              Franks barber shop 

If your car needs an oil change, one place is probably as good as another. If your suit jacket has a stain, most dry cleaners will do an adequate job of removing it. And if your lawn mover needs a tune-up, you probably won’t be able to tell the difference between Joe’s Repair and Steve’s Repair. 


But when you go to a new barber or hairdresser, you are running a big risk. There’s really no way of knowing if you will walk out of there looking sharp, or looking like you were just mauled by wolverines. Because cutting hair is not just a skill that anyone can learn; you have to be an artist to do it right. And chances are, the person at the “Good Kutz” shop down the street is not an artist. Old joke: What do you call a hairdresser that graduated last in her class? Answer: A Hairdresser.


bad haircut   

The reason I bring this up is that Jeannie, the woman who has been cutting my hair for many years, is moving to Boston in a month to be with a new man in her life. I’m being cast adrift, to float around town looking for someone else, without any real idea about where to start. Jeannie has an artist’s eye for layering and proportion, and a knack for cutting off just the right amount and no more. And, since I’ve been going there so long, I don’t need to try to explain how I like it cut. She just knows. 

I don’t think of my hair as being difficult to cut—it’s thick and straight, with not too many surprises. However, I have walked out of shops in my life looking just like I told the barber, “I’d like my hair cut just like Moe Howard, you know, from the Stooges?” I really am not looking forward to going through auditioning hairdressers again.




You have to really like the person that cuts your hair, because they are going to be right up close to you, and extremely personal, like removing ear-hair kind of personal. They are going to know all about how you screwed up at work, broke up with your girlfriend, got sick last weekend drinking tequila, and who your favorite singer is. And you are going to know the same kinds of things about them.




Most people form long term, steady relationships with their hairdresser, to the point where if someday they decide to see someone else, they have to sneak around. Then they’re stuck with the nagging worry that their old hairdresser will find out they’ve been unfaithful. Getting your hair cut can get very complicated.




But it wasn’t complicated when I was a kid. My dad bought an electric home shearing device when I was about 8 that smelled like ozone and buzzed like some kind of mad scientist equipment, and he would line my two brothers and me up in the basement and give us the type of haircuts you used to see on new recruits to the Marines. Dad loved saving money by giving us bad haircuts, but when we became teenagers we revolted and refused to let him near our heads anymore. Eventually we grew our hair long and stopped getting haircuts altogether.


Frank in 1962   

I guess I’m lucky to even have hair to worry about at my age. And I’m sure I’ll find someone else to take me on, that I will grow to like as much as Jeannie. But in case I don’t, and I have to go to Good Kutz in the meantime, you’ll still be able to recognize me. 

I’ll be the guy with the Moe Howard cut…


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My mom use to get out the bowl for our haircuts!! EEK!! :D I just go to the Klip-N-Kut and 99 percent of the time, I get a good hair cut(still have hair myself, it gets long and thick and they always comment..."DAMN HIPPIE!!" :D) and the 1 percent, I just wear a hat for a month!! ~:D
I really enjoyed this ! It was funny but sadly, exactly right. Finding a hairdresser who can cut your hair the way you like while making it an enjoyable experience , is no easy task. Good luck Frank. By the way, you do have beautiful hair.
I just get out the scissors every couple of months and hack away. Some people have an irrational fear of clowns - me, it's hairdressers.

But your hilarious descriptions reminded me of my prison-visiting days. One of the trades that is taught is hairdressing and the inmates work on each other. But all they all either looked scruffy and untended or deliberately weird (I remember the black guy who had three puffballs on his head - like a mutant Mickey Mouse).

Perhaps some of those hair shops you'll be trying out are operated by some released inmates, now plying their ill-learned trade...
I feel you r pain man! A few years ago my barber Claire got tired of all the catty remarks and back-biting from the other (women) barbers and moved on (she was the best in the shop - customers lined up for her, others with no customers).

When I found Peggy, I confessed to her just how traumatic it was to try to establish a relationship with someone new. However, she is great and I look forward to years of good cuts.
Still not over leaving Joe when I moved across the pond.

He fixed my bad diy dye job for me and let me pay in installments when I was a student.
I know the feeling. My barber was out on vacation last summer and I foolishly agreed to have the guy with the chair next to him cut mine. I think the guy was fired by the Army.
Aw, poor Frank! The absolute worst aspect of moving is finding a new hairdresser! It's easier to find a new doctor or dentist. I wish you well in your search.