I recently got the thrilling opportunity to interview Ann Coulter. I asked Ann to explain the problem with liberals to me. Here was her lucid, riveting response.

"The problem with liberals is that they are all illogical and non-linear thinkers.

Not only that, but they're all ugly and getting old.

As the leader of 12 Apostles, even Jesus was younger than Obama.

Take the Clintons, for instance, their attempt to socialize healthcare was the second most disgusting thing they did while they were in office. The first thing was they both started looking old.

Marco Rubio could be on the short list for V.P. with his Hispanic, non-aging genes. But even Hillary Clinton is aging better than Chris Christie. 

Nobody's going to say:  'Let's all have a beer at 2 in the afternoon, get botox, and vote for Romney/Christie!'

But I'd let Christie get me doughnuts and Rubio get my maid a Green Card.  Wouldn't you?

Press passes aren't that hard to come by if the White House allows old Arab Helen Thomas to sit within yards of the President.

A V.P. pass shouldn't be that hard to come by, for a goddess with beauty, brains, and balls, not to mention an Adam's apple; which is why Romney should choose ME for his V.P. I'm pretty and I don't show my age like liberals do, and I'm not Arab.

While I'm on the topic will someone please put rat poisoning in former Justice Steven's creme brulee'? That would be because he's too old - for you at AARP Magazine.

Just a heads up:  If I'm going to say anything about John Edwards in the future, I'll wish I could look that sexy when I'm old.

Even Jesus did not have the middle name of Hussein."