A short while back I wrote this post:
Unlike most posts, I felt it needed another part. So many more sayings, stuck in my craw.
As a part of my( unfamous) headspace cleanse series:
They say pride cometh before the fall. Hell, pride has officially been declared one of the seven deadly sins. Put pride out of practice though, and be prepared to hear, “ Have you no pride?”
Shrug it off with “Sticks and stones will break your bones but names will never harm you,” as you cry in your beer, and pray someone stones or sticks you to death.
An oft repeated mainstay of a saying, and now a Kelly Clarkson song is , “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.” Both sayings( and the song) don’t account for the suicides whose last words were, “ Shove my massive strength up your ass. God closed the door and forgot to open the window!”
Or , what doesn’t kill you will make you write odes to the spiritual properties inherent in undergoing Chemotherapy, or something similar, as you kill time waiting to see if the cancer goes away, or at least stays in remission, so you can rue more days, in which to say, “ Everything happens for a reason.”
Too dark? It’s always darkest before the dawn so you should see the darkness as a good sign. Many dawns have come and gone with still no light at the end of the tunnel? Suck it up, and then suck down, a glass, half full of vodka, and squint at the clouds to find your silver lining.
They speak of the straw that broke the camel’s back .
They don’t make the time to tell you : Soon after the camel was told by a doctor that his back was broke, he listened to the wisdom that said he should get a second opinion . This doctor told him that only his right hump was broken. Eventually, the camel got his hump fixed, by that second opinion doctor, in the Sahara. The camel is still kicking, but soon had to seek out third and even fourth opinions cause his left hump still hurt. He is now hooked on Vicodin.
Unlike lighting, straws can strike twice.
If the camels name was say, “Dorothy,” then maybe some ass said, “ What did you expect. Dorothy, You’re not in Kansas anymore.” As if Wizard of Oz references ever helped anyone.
The same ass may also say, “ You reap what you sow” before the poor drugged out camel replies, " How the hell do you know what I sow… or reap, creep!?,” and gives this ass , a swift kick in its ass.
When it comes to advice and asses, the possibilities are endless.
Thr camel would then get beaten up by the ass . The ass did, in fact, break the camels back. The camel wanted to press charges, or at least, sue. He was advised that the local authorities were predisposed towards asses, and he didn't have a chance.
Many then advised the camel that he just needed to move on, and that living well was the best revenge. But, the camel was now such a mess that he was forced to live in a hospice . Living well was out of the question he assured them, but they just told him to keep his chin up, and to count on that whatever came around will go around.
The camel is still in the Sahara,struggling in his hospice, far away from any known Oasis's.