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A hodgepodge of a blog-- with more hodge than podge


had to flee Los Angeles, s.o.s, Disgruntled state of Dystopia as the kids say
May 24
miss fernsy if you're nasty. fernsy mae- if you behave
Loooooooooooong story. If compelled to contact, my email is

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JUNE 2, 2011 1:58PM

The Tig Notaro Travesty Part four

Rate: 15 Flag

Please read, parts 1-4, when you can.



All things really being relative, I am thrilled to be back in the criminal courts. Their end game? Patton? Really? Or just getting the charges dismissed and discrediting me to the point where I could not sue?



Surely, with the 10, 000 dollar attorneys- this will get dismissed. Surely, in these forsaken 29 days, some insane dues were paid, and justice and truth would ride in like the cavalry. I foresee irate jurors, irate justice hounds, and profuse --  almost prostrate apologies. I envisage the morass turned on its ass. I foresee a day. A certain day. A very certain day. This day is marked by celebration of the most profound sort.


I go back to the holding cell,where I am mercifully alone, and I pray to this god that has now answered my prayers. All through jail I did something I’d now  call, “extreme praying.” This was a form of prayer that seemed to sear through the most elaborate man made fortresses. Cells and bars and sadists be damned-- the truth and the  real realities would surmount all opposition. It was intense. The big time concept or conundrum —Is the pen mightier than  the sword?-  came very into play. The minute I could, I tried to write it all down.


But, Judge Maria Stratton isn’t satisfied. She insists that a hearing be held in the criminal courts the next day.  James Silverstein protests and tells her that he can’t make it the next day as he has other appointments. She disgustedly tells him something to the effect of , “ You better be there, counselor.” 


 It’s okay. We can do 800 dollars.. It’s okay. I am sent back to the holding cells(The mental health one and then the regular one in twin towers) where I wait for more than ten hours before I get back to the “pod.”


I am a master sleeper. I can barely recall a sleepless night. But, that night—I stayed up ready to get out. Hour after hour, still in my jail scrubs, and those awful white slipper type sneakers. No one came. I was falling in and out of sleep when it hit 3.AM,  and the deputy called my name over the intercom, and unclicked the metal door. No bail went through. The deputy in charge had no idea what I was talking about and didn’t care. Back to the bus, back to the court. But, now it’s back to the misdemeanor criminal court- Division 40.


I’d learn that something went wrong with  the papers, and the bond-- someone gave the wrong number in Division 95,  and so it didn’t go through. I am now in the bowels of the Clara Foltz courthouse.  - I wait in holding cells full of savages this time around- a Bloods gang member takes over the cell with such noise and downright depravity. I tell her to keep it down a few times. She doesn’t. I am badass, I guess, or I’ve just had enough.


Over the screaming, me and another jailee, get to talking and she is the second intelligent person I’ve met in 29 days, now.  I am cheered and excited by her intellect, and the stories she is telling me about how she prisonned with “Krennie.”  Krennie is Patricia Krenwinkle—One of the Manson girls. Oh man, stories.


At some point , all the girls start snorting coffee. The Blood relieves herself in that number 2 way, and tells us how she escaped the grasp of a serial killer, as she squats on the lidless bowl. She shows  us the knife scars. When she gets up she talks about her “pussy,” and what she likes others to do it. She tells us all how unusual this pussy of hers appears, and she begins pleading to us all, “ Do you want to see my pussy?” I laugh like crazy. It's all so damned over the top.  Some merciful distraction cropped up , and of this display(her pussy) I was spared.  Dante’s inferno is what came to mind. 


I talk to another girl and she tells me she is a UCLA grad. She looks like a UCLA grad, but her skin is blotched with what I know now is a side effect of Meth. She tells me her life story. It is fascinating. She is the third intelligent person I would meet. I jot notes constantly and everyone is delighted that I am writing what they are seeing. A girl called Magic is howling and doing decent raps. She tells us all that she has a twin sister called "Tragic."  I swear to god.


 There is no clock here. But, I understand soon that it is now lunch time. 1:30 comes.  I am the only jailee remaining. All have been called to court. I’d later learn that James Silverstein couldn’t make it till then.


I am forced to sit in the cage in front of Karla Kerlin, back in good old Division 40. The bailiff comes to me and sweetly and insistently says, “ They are getting you out today. They are getting you out today." How does he know? Why does he know?  Why are the bailiffs treating me so damned well?


Despite no reason for it , and no law to justify  it Karla Kerlin will not allow the Own Recognizance release that I deserve. James Silvsrtein ignores me when I tell him that Karla Kerlin cannot be sitting on this case. Karla Kerlin is a dangerously complicit and biased individual. He knows this. She has lied in the most onerous ways. She is a shameless shill for a corrupt prosecution, in this case.


Silverstein, once again, just counts on some oral request to lower the  bail to nothing, because there is no basis for bail. Kerlin makes statements on the record that defy law and logic. She refuses his requests and is too ready to debate his meager arguments .  Silverstein comes by the cage , and  I see his dead eyed stare and could sense only that he is considering his career prospects. I understand that is too common with Los Angeles Defense Attorneys.


 Kerlin insists that the bail be set at 10,000 dollars by saying that Judge  Maria Stratton is more familiar with the case than her,  and that she has no jurisdiction to lower it. This is not true. Something is very very wrong with Judge Karla Kerlin. I would later find out how very bad she is. James Silverstein tells the judge that he can only make the next pretrial on January 13 2010. She agrees, and from my cage- I nod ok.


I go back to jail, strip searched again. Waiting again. I divvy out all my chips to certain highly deprived inmates .I  tell my Bunky, Dawanna,  she better not eat them all herself. She tells me to call someone that can help her with her release. I promise her that, and she promises me that she will divvy out the junk food to those that really need it. I am sure that they’ll never let me go, but I’m making sure.


At 1.A.M, my name is called.  They put me in another holding cell with about five inmates. We wait what feels like hours. The cell door is opened twice by a deputy who tells two of the girls that they found out that they had other warrants and they can’t be released. They are taken back. All the girls complain how no one is out there to pick them up and how will they get a bus at this hour. Again, I feel so lucky despite this all.


 Then, the slow progress to the window where they give me a bag- with my “street clothes.” Till today, I call those my bad luck clothes, and don’t wear them- a brown thermal and khaki pants. Doors unlock over and over again, like in Get Smart,  until I am at the bottom of a huge concrete staircase. I run up the stairs . I see a black sky. I hear “ Alisale. Alisale,” at the top.  


I can’t believe that I am able again to get affection and love again.  I need so many hugs and so many words of comfort. I am given them in spades.

It is now December 4th 2009- I have spent an entire month in jail.

I try my best to enjoy freedom. I become obsessed with chips of all kinds.


All the computers were taken and are being searched. They are being searched by a man  named Sam Moreno, who has supplied a 2 page resume- FBI, Homeland Security-- the works .



We get another computer . I research research research and learn everyday that a million things could have been done by Silverstein and Knecht to get me out of jail. I am waiting on the decision for the appeal. My mother and sister tell me that they kept trying to supply Silverstein with help and evidence but he was just not acting right. I tell them it’s not possible- they must be being paranoid. I call him and learn that they are not being paranoid. None of us are prone to paranoia. None of us have persecutions complexes. 


 He tells me that everytime my mother called him while I was in jail cut into his time. I am sat down ,and told the hard truths they have learned while I was away: They decided the appeals against me on Novemember 19th 2009, and something is very wrong with Silverstein and Knecht.


James Silverstein has not filed one motion or interviewed any of the witnesses and he has asked the next pretrial be January 13th 2009. We learn about the laws related to bail and how insane it is that I would be denied bail and made to be in jail for 31 days without charges being brought. We learn that there are very complicated and exacting rules to competency and that had the private therapist been willing to come, I would now be in Patton- the state hospital for the criminally insane.



I communicate with him a bit via e-mail and phone, and  he says that Martin Boags has discovery he was supposed to hand over and he doesn’t see much use in talking to me till he gets this discovery. He tells me that the competency thing is over, DONE, and wasn’t it incredible, “how he worked his magic.” I am appalled and disgusted. I kiss his ass because I can’t afford to handle this new sick wrinkle .The story is too much—much too much.

He keeps hinting that he hasn’t been paid for  trial really and …. You know.  He doesn’t appear to know the case or want to know the case. I asked him, “James, what are the witnesses names?” He angrily says, “ I won’t play those games.”  We barely talk and in the ensuing one month and a week, we don’t discuss the case, because Silverstein tells me that he doesn’t see the use until he gets all the discovery from Boags.


He talks about Boags with disgust,and claims that Boags is giving him the runaround. Silverstein tells me that this is a vindictive prosecution and to be patient because the civil suits will lessen the pain someday soon.


He calls on January 12th 2010 ,and says I must come to his office. He tells me via e-mail that he has received the discovery from Boags. I come in with my sister and we are led not to Silverstein’s office, but to Knecht’s office . There Knecht sits by his fancy desk and Silverstein, to the left of me, on the other side of the desk


. Knecht speaks:  He tells us he is “Spock:  He goes on how purely logical and unbiased he is. He says, “ You’ve been through a lot since we spoke. You need to plea. There is so much evidence. They are now offering you 18 months of informal diversion if you plea to “trespass,” and go to a psychiatrist. ”


I say, “ What evidence. “ There is no evidence. There can be no evidence. Knecht switches gears without blinking, “ They are out to get you. They hate you. Look what they’ve done already. It will only get much worse for you."  I say, “ What about all my witnesses.”  Knecht looks genuinely confused , and  says, “ Witnesses?  James, are there witnesses.”  James says, “ Yeah Yeah.”  I say, “James can you name one witness.” James says, “ I won’t play that game.” Knecht then counsels James to contact those witnesses and to take the witnesses,” in the hall.” James Silverstein then tells me he spoke to Robin Ginsburg, as I’d advised for so long, and that she says that she told him that she thinks I’ll lose at trial.


At some point Knecht babbles on about how logical he is and how I must plea. My sister says, “ Mr. Knecht,  It is obvious you don’t even know this case.”  This was sort of funny/horrific because I knew without the slightest doubt that Silverstein would immediately attack my sister and tell her that how dare she talk to a man of Knecht’s prestige and experience that way. Within less than a second, that exactly occurred.


Though she has shown bias of the highest order , and by all logic, Silverstein knows this, Karla Kerlin, is still there to make rulings at this pretrial on January 13th 2010.


 After I refuse the plea deal, Silverstein tells me that he has to handle a felony trial and my case will have to wait and that he plans to come and ask to waive time. I don’t know what to say to this and so I don’t say anything.


January 13th 2010-


Though, by all law, Karla Kerlin must be recused, she is there. Interesting footnote: Karla Kerlin and Peter Knecht were witnesses 50 and 51 in the Anthony Pellicano trial.  Pellicano Trial Update: Witness List – Deadline.comMar 5, 2008 ... Karla Kerlin 50. Peter Knecht 51. Stephen Kolodny (divorce lawyer to the stars) 52. John LaViolette (bigtime Hollywood lawyer) ... - Cached 

James Silverstein is now telling me that he has a felony trial and that it takes precedence and he won’t be able to get to my case for a long while. I stand with him in front of Kerlin and I put it on the record that I refuse to waive time and that my motions all remain unheard.  She jots down this on her judge’s notes, “ Lawyer not ready for JT(jury trial) !!!! Hasn’t filed any motions!!! D(defendant) filed motions.


James looks furtive and then pissed, and then   suddenly pipes up into the microphone. “ Just to be perfectly clear for the record, your honor. I have  strongly advised my client of the plea and that she will face much more punitive outcomes if she doesn’t take it.”


I am in shock. Boags isn’t there that day,  but another city attorney is in his place.  Why the hell is he telling this woman and the prosecutors that??? What possible good reason can exist where he would tell the other side that he is not confident in the case. I know and my family know that he has made no effort to the  know the case. He called some doctors and we got lucky with Dupee. If indeed Leventhal would have showed up from what I understand it would pack almost no weight and Judge Maria Stratton would get to rule against me and do who knows what.


I tell him in the hall that this is terrible. He tells me it’s routine. I tell him no way, and that I will report him to the bar. I tell him to give us back at least 5 thousand dollars. He literally laughs in my face. I tell him that the bar won’t tolerate that  a very recent Glendale College Law graduate  is getting such fees for what he’s done. He says, “Don’t you threaten me with the bar.”


I go home and feel so much loster than lost. He took the last of the  money. There is no more. I write him a make nice e-mail. I cannot count on the public defender. I have tried and their reputation as ‘the public pretender,” is thus far well earned. The public defender has denied that there is a conflict of interest with their office,(Though one of them expressly told me that such was the case,) and so I can’t get an alternate public defender.  


My mother, outraged, calls Knecht, and tells him what Silverstein is doing. Knecht, says, “ Your daughter threatened James with the bar.  Your daughter is a very sick girl,” and hangs up the phone.


I would learn later that on January 14th 2010, Silverstein drafted the first motion and last motion he would ever draft in this case--  A motion to withdraw. He will cite, “ethical conflicts,” to judge Villar and he will cite that he has a felony trial that takes precedence to other judges.


Meanwhile we finally find the search warrant that the police left on the table when they all came on November 4th 2009. It says that they must search everything because someone called Notaro a Morone(sic) on her guestbook. Though they can easily trace the IP ,and they do, and don’t link it to me but to “Someone in Los Angeles.” Yet, a Judge Craig Richman, is willing to give them a blanket search warrant to search mailbox, library accounts, car- the works. They have had these properties for three months now.


On,  January 21st 2010 , Judge Mary Lou Villar will release Silverstein without a hearing or explanation . She will do so at an unrecorded sidebar.

  On that same day, Martin Boags comes in with a document dated, August 12 2009,  that says that he wants to add four charges--two for criminal threats and two for stalking. Villar will allow them to add it by “Interdelineation.” These charges are brought based on the alleged incidences that occurred in 2008. I am now facing seven criminal charges. I am happy. Well, not happy but my now legalish mind has deduced that the one thing that I must have to clear my name and to “move on” with my life — a collateral attack on the validity of the restraining order now must occur, as the new charges are based on them. I’d been told by assorted lawyers that if the prosecution plays their cards right they can keep that out somehow, and just try to prove that I spoke to Martha Kelly, and said, “ Tell her to drop it or I’ll never let it go.” They can maybe win on a technicality if they don’t open any doors. I am also told that any decent lawyer will make sure those doors are opened and that comes in. If that comes in— I really really really win. If that comes in, the jury and judge, acquit me and leave that court with the utmost disgust for all the villains that have done such terrible things to an innocent person. 


Meanwhile: There are no signed statements of any prosecution witness.  There are however three quarter page interviews with Martha Kelly, Jeff Klinger, and Jackie Kashian, made by phone by city attorney, Jennifer Waxler, in early March of 2009.

  These interviews are not signed, and they incredible—a defense witness can prove they are lying, and once again they are all contradicting each others stories. This all will become very relevant at trial. A trial that I cannot lose and should not lose.


The computers and hard drives and other properties have now been in their possession for three months. I am very relieved and happy that they didn’t plant something in those computers. It is obvious now that they have found nothing but exculpatory evidence in those computers.


Meanwhile I speak to an idealistic lawyer. She is too busy ,but she tells me to bite the bullet- do not allow them any more continuances—take it to trial.



Silverstien is off the case. I am facing the prospect of seven years in jail. I am in a good mood. An imbecile can win my case now that they have opened up the validity of the restraining order. I am no lawyer but I’m not an imbecile, and I can beat them all on my own. I wish I had a lawyer but that’s not possible here.  


The judge, Mary Lou Villar(Who I have tried to recuse and should not be there) has told me to take two months to find a lawyer. I request an alternate public defender and she says she wants to consider it and she needs to take some time. I give a rousing speech about how she is the Mayor’s sister and she must stop this madness now.  I tell her that she has done bad things in this case and she must recuse herself.


Alissa M. and other public defenders are in the courtroom and the atmosphere is strangely electric—there is some unmistakable vibe—the public defenders want to do something.

Silverstein rushes out of the courtroom.. We all leave to go home, as by all indications, the session in over.


But, we remember that we had ordered a transcript from Division 40. So, we go down to the third floor. I go to the bailiff and tell them I want to pick up my transcript. Once again, the bailiffs are giving me loving smiles.  Kerlin is sitting there. Someone comes and tells me to talk to the city attorney about the transcript.. I walk to the prosecutors side and a young girl, a city attorney,  speaks to me in an extremely solicitous tone. She wishes me good luck.  Kerlin is sitting up there in her high chair, seemingly oblivious to my presence. I wait there as the city attorney looks into what became of my transcript. Kerlin pipes up from the chair, “ They want you in Division 55… I don’t want you to get a bench warrant.” How she knows this, I'll probably never know as no one could have known we would go get that transcript.


It turned out that Villar all along was considering if she should give me an alternate public defender. The session wasn’t over ,and if we’d left I’d be in big trouble. Phew. And, Kerlin… is maybe… a little conflicted. She didn't want a bench warrant out on me. Much succor is gained by thinking that some guilt and humanity took place, in any way.


On the way out of the court, a young boy, a public defender approaches me, and he looks infuriated. His face is actually red. He says to me, “ I saw you in there . I saw you in there.” And, he points at the cage where those in custody must sit, and where I sat on December 2nd.  He continues, “  You were so screwed. They are screwing you so bad.”


I say, “Can I talk to you some more.” I must go to the other courtroom but I need to talk to him. He is happy to comply. I say, “ I’m sensing something. Will the public defenders office help me, finally? ” He says, “Yes!” I say, “ Can you be my lawyer,” He says , “Yes!!,” 


I rush up to Villar’s courtroom. She is handling another case-- sentencing someone. I see Alissa M, and I tell her what this boy has told me. She tells me he is her good friend. I say to her , “ So what do you think about what they are doing to me? “ She spits out, “ It is disgusting.”  Another public defender approaches my mother and says, “ My grandmother was in the Holocaust too.”  There are now many public defenders there , and the usually sedate and gray courtroom is alive with … something.


 Villar says I should take 2 months or so to get a hold of a private  lawyer. She won’t allow an alternate public defender.  Alissa M. approaches me and says. “ Let’s take it to trial now.” I have no idea what is really is going on, but I know that if the public defender will step up to the plate, this can end as a gorgeous story.  I say “Yes, let’s take this to trial.” Villar looks so baffled: two lawyers are gone, I’m supposedly some difficult character and client, they even tried to declare me insane,  and yet Alissa looks so gleeful to claim me. After she signed on, she turned to me , smiles gleefully, and says , " We're back together again." (If anyone read part 4, she showed up there.)


  Villar  lets Alissa M.  sign on to be my lawyer. On the way out of court, Martin Boags, gives me a ridiculous stink eye, followed by an absurd grin,  and says, “ See you at trial.” 


It is now set for trial. I am facing 7 charges. I feel as if not only do I have a lawyer, but a team of outraged young attorneys. The next court date is to be February 28th 2010, and then Trial is set for March 4th 2010.


POSTSCRIPT: This was later written about James E. Silverstein on the revered weblog, Popehat. It turned out that my mother had been duped by a scammer and spammer. She would grow so upset with her choice and what that choice had led to that she posted a rip off report about both Knech and Silverstein . Being called out would cause them to  lose their minds and just write whatever lies they could think of to retaliate against me. Peter Knecht I'd later learn was known as an "evil guy" by many lawyers and that he had screwed over countless clients in the past.

 Now, James E. Silverstein keeps defaming me for any negative thing he sees about himself on the internet. Amazing how a sociopath, who abandons innocent clients, after stealing thier last dime, will try to lay blame on anything but his own sad and sick characters. 

Someone comments on how he reveals the names of his clients on his website. And, that is what he does. He actually puts thier names up their and talks of the thier crimes and in one instance he writes about how the "facts" should have led to more or tougher charges but he was able to get this guilty client a more favorable deal. AMAZING.



He most likely thinks I am the owner of the Popehat website. I wish.


Apr 8, 2011

Another day, another criminal lawyer caught blogspamming on a post about foolish or unethical legal marketing, to no avail.

If you need help with a complex Los Angeles criminal matter, or for that matter if you'd like to explain the html nofollow tag to Mr. Silverstein, click.


  1. Wilhelm Arcturus  •  Apr 8, 2011 @3:07 pm

    I like the matching hankie in his breast pocket. Doesn't make me think "gangster Halloween costume" at all.

  2. Jeff  •  Apr 8, 2011 @3:28 pm

    I like the scrolling list of cases that he "won." I wonder if his former clients like the publicity.

  3. SiouxsieL  •  Apr 8, 2011 @3:31 pm

    Well done, your Eminence. I like that the roof of his office looks just like the Supreme Court.

  4. Scott Jacobs  •  Apr 8, 2011 @5:13 pm

    "James E. Silverstein’s"

    Nice website, toolbag.

  5. SPQR  •  Apr 9, 2011 @3:48 pm

    Reminds me of the crooked defense attorney "Saul" in Breaking Bad.

  6. Robert  •  Apr 10, 2011 @1:04 pm

    I find the "big nose" comment to be vaguely anti-Semitic. It's you goyim who have tiny noses!

  7. mirriam  •  Apr 11, 2011 @8:40 am

    What the fucking fuck is up with that website? Granted, mine still has latin words and whatnot, but you know, at least uh. Forget it.

  8. Jennifer  •  Apr 14, 2011 @4:38 pm

    Oh, good Lord. That nose makes it look like he was photographed with a fisheye lens.

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If this were a Russian novel ( and it's turning into one ;-) there'd be a list of names, nicknames and positions in the Introduction, for quick reference. I get who the Bad ones are, but you haven't named the young red-faced boy who said he'd take it on.
There may be a good reason for that ... ?
And Alissa M, is she the "beautiful Australian," from part 4 ?
I have a good feeling about her ( hey, ok, I'm Australian ) - I hope I'm not wrong.
Meantime Mr Silverstein needs to have his tires slashed and a brick through his front window, but I didn't say that.

I know you'll never forget those girls you met inside.
Lots of good will come of what's happened and what you're doing with it Fernsy.
This reads like Franz Kafka nightmare. Reference Pellicano: Isn't he the private dick who got in trouble in a blackmail case? You need to give a little background when you introduce new names, and it would help to refresh our memory each time you return to the main players. It's easy to get lost in this with so many names and twists and turns. Also a time frame would help keep everything in perspective. Maybe subtitles, like on Law and Order. Something like Aug. 5, 2007, Superior Court, Los Angeles County -
I am looking forward to hearing about the trial. This is just the most bizarre and painful journey, I am hoping for an ending that brings you justice.
rated with love
I hope this is going to become a book Fernsy. I cannot believe that lawyer citing 'the bar"
Give me a break.
i await more
I was extremely upset when your private info. was given out here which prompted you to feel you had to explain yourself and your innocence in this case. At that time I wish the writer that did the deed had been dismissed from OS then. Although none of that is really pertinent to your post or your life story, I do feel that in writing about your trials and tribulations you are showing us your strength and character. And perhaps it helps to speak aloud, I do it all the time but it's just the dog that hears me. ;-) You are dear to me and others here Ferns. From what was, is and will be, you will forever have my support. I applaud you....I really, really applaud you.
Kim: Great and generous comment again, thank you.
I should add an Ivanovich to everyone's last name and really make it impossible. I don't even remember the red faced boy's name, but if I did I wouldn't write it. He will show up again but he never does anything wrong. Dr. Suzanne Dupee is the beautiful Australian. She's the hot shot forensic doctor, who I beleive, was the most critical ally at the most important time. Yay for good looking and good Australians like you and her. Alissa M. isthe public defender who came to help me in the empty court where a judge was to rule on "motions." Those transcripts tell the tale. Motions that weren't set for any hearings, ever.
You can say what you want about Silverstein. You are in Australia. I have to be more circumspect :). He will turn out to be the biggest pile of crap in this whole heinous odyssey.

I will never forget those girls-- the stories.
I love your last line ,especially. I hope you are right. Thank you again, Kim.
Chicken Maan: I was wanting to PM you, and ask for that kind of advice and there you are. I agree. I'm working on it, as we "speak." I have yet to really write the next part. I will incorporate your tips into that part, and work on the others, and maybe even repost when it's really cooked. Thank you dear Chicken Maan.
RomanticPoettes: I wrote a short summary of the the crazy weeks that led up to trial and then the trial and then the aftermath. But, today, I finall feel ready to really write it so it will take a few days. The trial was mind bending, really. So glad you will be reading. Thank you.
LindaS: Thank you for reading all along. James E. Silverstein is impossible to believe. It gets much worse with him after I sue him for malpractice etc.
TME: Ah, the irony- the boomerang Karma. She fled because someone else revealed her real name . I kept mum, but I wanted to write a good riddance post ;(.
OS will start playing a part in this story in the next part and the last one. It does help to speak it out loud, and to expose it.
It does help to know that anyone might read it and relate or understand or even--- decide to finally investigate this disaster. Thank you for your sweet support. XXXOOOO
I love how you describe the girls in prison - so human and yet so unreal. I wish you could have just made them up, though, and not had to have gone through all of this. I feel a real energy in this post, like what you described in the courtroom. I can't wait to read more and I wish you continued good luck and healing.
It breaks my heart to hear this, and much more, happened to you. To have your mother survive the holocaust only to endure people who are so like Nazis makes me sick to my stomach. They are truly sharks, they don't sleep, they don't taste, they don't even feel joy, they endlessly swim and tear into things with their bloody teeth. It's terrifying how it doesn't bother them to destroy a human.

I have looked into the dead eyes you speak of where the human soul has left the body and all that's left is a walking hunk of meat. Soulless people are the reason our world is in the condition it is today. I'm sad knowing that they have torn into you and your family. It heartens me to know that some of the public defenders have goodness and humanity in them. I pray for Blessings to come to you and yours and those that helped you.
I read and marvel at your strength. Only my years in the system let me believe this horror. I know it's truth and am ashamed.
My comments keep getting lost halfway through posting, Fernsy - and that, after 10 minutes of waiting for 'post this comment' and 20 minutes to log on. Third trial. :o(

I'm still shocked by every episode of this nighmare and amazed by your courage and inner strength that carried you so far in a system where the agents of justice are interested in anything else, but. With all my heart I hope you get compensation at least for your financial losses, because nothing can compensate for what you have gone through emotionally. They tried everything in their power to strip you off your dignity and sanity - seven charges for what ? It's a heartbreaking story to read but you tell it with clarity, poise and honesty. I admire your character and humanity. I am very sorry something this bizarre and horrible happened to you, but I am still hoping that you will get the justice, see the end of this in a most befitting way soon. I am totally in support of you and I never doubted your sanity based on what you have written here and the character you've shown on Open Salon. Hugs.
Alysa: Stay tuned for tons of stories out of jail. Some merciful force led me to find everything so literary and so fascinating while there. I too wish this was fiction. In fact, there are so many more elements that I can't include because the zaniness/bizzarro factor is already so huge. The day Deputy Dusky gave me a jail satisfaction survey was some humdinger not to mention the day my raisinets went missing . Thank you for reading, as always.

ThebestBlueu: My mother has said many times that she found this much worse than what was done by the Nazis. But, she was the bravest and the best through this. She would raise her little arm from the couch in all kinds of power salutes. She was the general and this really felt like a war All our family and friends told us to just plea and leave L.A. It got lonely and and then... lonelier. I love your comment and you know of what you speak: Re: Sociopaths. I've met one possible sociopath in my whole life until this, and then ... so many. As a humanistic idealist-- that's the hardest part. Love to you!
Scylla: You don't know how much such comments mean. It feels like esoteric knowledge and that it is my mission to let us all know about the real system. But, since I know how I was before this happened, I know that most have been spared this experience and will never understand or even believe. I know how hard you are struggling and I am very grateful that you have been so sweet and supportive.
Fusun: I'm sure my sanity is being doubted, but that's the risk a sane chick must take to tell such an insane story. Wait till you see what the lawyers do when they are sued for malpractice. Horrible doozies ahead.
Trammelle: You are a godsend. Seriously. You are also a beautiful writer and a special soul. It does get better- - more u-turns ahead , but I'll spare too much suspense and hint that the light at the end of this tunnel isn't the... light light we all pray for ... but, it's not necessarily a freight train either.
Down the rabbit hole, again! We should all be terrified!
Dare I hope this horror gets better in the next episode? I am so pleased at the range and quality of comments you've received particularly in this thread. Yes- a movie...sort of a Midnight Express set in California. ...secretly hoping you get to bite off an appendage in your next installment. xo love to and around you, ferns!