Anyone who knows me at all would have been able to tell you that I would not change my son’s room when he left for college. I mean, really, just because my husband and I live in a one bedroom apartment that we gerrymandered into two tiny bedrooms when he was… Read full post »

There are lots of ways not to take advice. As a psychotherapist and a parent I’ve probably heard most of them. My son, for example, figured out when he was very young that he could shut me up immediately when I offered psychotherapy-sounding advice by saying, “That doesn’t work with… Read full post »

At a party recently I was trapped in a conversation with a man who clearly knew everything – or at least, so he thought, and he wanted to make sure I thought so as well. Until I was able to get away, I entertained myself by trying to imagine why he… Read full post »

What happens to a teacher’s teachings when he betrays his students’ trust?

I never took a class with John Friend, the founder of Anasura Yoga, but this charismatic leader inspired many of my own yoga teachers, who have helped me recover from injuries caused by years of ballet classes, a… Read full post »

Beryl* has had an eating disorder ever since she can remember. As a child she was a little chubby and her parents, who had both struggled with their own weight, worried that she would become obese. They therefore kept a strict watch on her food intake, and as a result Beryl… Read full post »

Brenda* was having troubles keeping it together. She had always been someone who cried easily – her brothers teased her because tears would stream down her face during tv commercials – but now, at the age of thirty-two, she was a veritable waterworks. She often had to excuse herself from… Read full post »

Back at work barely an hour, maybe, and beating yourself up for what you didn’t get done over the holidays? Maybe you started thinking about it last night -- the time off is over, and all you have to show for it are too many extra pounds and a too big… Read full post »

Some years ago a client who I’ll call Alice was having troubles with her boyfriend. She was madly in love with him; but he was not treating her particularly nicely. He wasn’t abusive or anything. It’s just that he only called when he wanted something – like a nice hot meal,… Read full post »

Two weeks before Christmas, Tara* was an emotional mess. “I love this holiday,” she told me. “I love the decorations and lights and the smell of the trees. I love going to church with my family on Christmas Eve and coming home and having our traditional Christmas Eve meal…&rd… Read full post »

Based on an unofficial and extremely imprecise survey I started about ten years ago, if you love Thanksgiving Day and you are more than six years old, you are most likely one of a very small minority. Oh, sure, if your kids are coming home from college or you’re going to… Read full post »

Harry dreads Sunday nights. He says that weekends are just not long enough – he never gets to everything on his “to-do list.” If he’s spent any time having fun – which is the point of weekends, isn’t it? – he’s usually too tired on Sunday to force himse… Read full post »

It’s lunchtime on Thursday, and you just got the message that there’s going to be an office Happy Hour after work today. As far as you can tell, everyone is going. The whole office. That means that your co-workers will be there, some of whom are good friends; but you don’t… Read full post »

What if the only job you can get is one you don't want?

I went to social work school to become a psychotherapist, so you can imagine my horror when, for my fist year internship, I was assigned to an agency called The Traveler’s Aid Society, providing help for stranded… Read full post »

Paula* was furious with herself. Usually she was perfectly dressed and made up, but that day she sat across from me in baggy sweats, with no makeup and her hair pulled back into a tight pony tail. “How could I be so stupid?” she demanded. “I’ve ruined everything.”

She h… Read full post »

Lianne* came to see me for help with her compulsive binge-eating. "I can't stand myself," she said. "I've tried every diet I can think of. I lose weight...and then I gain it all back...and more." Lianne was smart and very funny. She had a successful job and many women friends. But she/… Read full post »

Amy* has been crying off and on all week. “I know it’s stupid,” she said. “And the truth is, I wouldn’t want it any other way…and some part of me is also happy…but I can’t seem to stop feeling so sad.” What’s got her so upset? Her youngest… Read full post »

Colleges across the country have now sent out their acceptance and rejection letters. Every year at this time I am struck by the meanings these letters have for high school seniors and their parents. Since I think understanding what any experience means helps us cope with… Read full post »

In spring, as the poet Alfred Lord Tenneyson wrote, a young man's fancy turns to love. And many women and men start getting their bodies ready to wear the revealing clothes of summer. While this may be good news for the diet and exercise industries, it's not… Read full post »