The Ten NRA Commandments
1. I am the Lord thy NRA, who redefined the second Amendment, delivering assault rifles into the hands of rednecks. You shall have no other special interest group before me.
2. Thou shalt not financially support the ACLU for the NRA is a jealous organization and will mercilessly troll your blog.
3. Thou shalt not criticize the NRA, for the NRA will hire lobbyists to thwart your reelection.
4. Remember the 6-shooter and keep it holy. Keep one bullet for your son and one bullet for your daughter, one for your male servant and one for your female servant, one for your cattle and one for the stranger at the gates. Especially if the stranger is black.
5. Honor your mother and father, for they allow you live in their basement.
6. Thou shalt kill. That's what the gun is for.
7. Thou shalt not commit adultery. Your wife knows where you keep your guns.
8. Thou shalt not steal, but it's okay to shoot anyone who looks suspicious.
9. Do not bear false witness against thy neighbor. Instead, shoot him and claim self-defense.
10. Covet thy neighbor's gun, for it is awesome. Especially if it has a banana clip.